January 16 - Human Connection

I never thought of doing a page about this. Thanks for the challenge!

 

thank you for the challenge

 

Loved this challenge! Thanks!

 

Lilypad 2024 01 Moc 16 by lm44west posted Jan 16, 2024 at 11:26 AM

 

Thank you for this challenge !

 

Thank you for this challenge!

 

https://the-lilypad.com/forum/galleries/moc_12_day_16_good-always-comes-back.558578/

 

I hope this qualifies since it is not about a single person, but many people. There are just too many that I feel a connection to in the group to single out just one. And, I needed to get this done quickly since I'll be AWOL for the next 5 days.

 

thank you for the challenge. I never wouldve scrapped about this and it is very meaningful to me .


here is the journaling :

Inspired to make a difference with my photography following attending a womens photography retreat, I applied and was accepted as a volunteer photographer at Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep, a non profit that provides free remembrance photos for families who have had a stillborn baby or neonatal death.

My first call was in 2019 from Vassar Hospital. This mom had a stillbirth before and was a nurse so she knew a lot about the situation. The older 2 children were there and some relatives or friends of this same sex couple. I talked to baby Juliette as I photographed her and even though she was not alive. It is helpful and respectful to the family to call the baby by name and talk to them. They see your connection and know you care. I see the mom on Facebook. She has had two more successful pregnancies since baby Juliette was born still, though I never heard from them again.

Covid happened and then there were no calls as no one could be in the hospital. In 2022 I had 3 calls , two just separated by a few weeks, all at Northern Westchester Hospital, where Oliver was born still. When I first enter the hospital room, not knowing what or who I will find, I introduce myself and thank them for the privledge of meeting them and taking the photos of their precious baby. When it is appropriate I tell them that I am a loss grandma and my daughter’s first baby was stillborn. Often they ask me if she had children after that and are I think relieved to hear she had 3 more successfully. I share stillbirth resources and organizations if it seems appropriate. All the situations are similar in that they are so sad and unexpected. All are broken hearted

One sadly was a young mother who lived in a shelter. She had a sister with her as her support. This family was especially sad for me as it seemed she may have been part of human trafficking. Of course, I need to respect each families privacy and do not ask a lot of questions. I sent the photos to the sister but have never heard from them.

Three weeks later I again had a call at NWHC. I recognized the Dad’s name. He had grown up down the street from us and my daughter played with his younger sister. The mother also had grown up in our area and attended the same High School as our children. Only the dad, a friend and beautiful baby Ophelia were in the room. Sadly, the mother had been taken back for surgery because she was bleeding. I told the family I would come back the next morning and connected them to the nurse in order to have Ophelia use the cuddle cot so she may be in good shape for the next day photos. When I came the next day, I learned that Ophelia was an IVF baby and she was born still on the mom’s 40th birthday ☹ I also learned that due to the surgery she may never be able to carry a pregnancy going forward. They still lived in the area so after they were home they were interested in staying in touch. I introduced them to some loss families near to them as well as some websites and charities. I have made a contribution to their Go Fund me they set up so that hopefully they can have a gestational carried and have another baby. I have a fb relationship with the mom. She is the only one who has ever email me about how important the photos that I took are and they will forever be cherished. Many of the photos are of the connection between her, Ophelia and her husband and she is crying in many of them. I actually asked my fellow volunteers at NILMDTS if it is ok to share these heartwrenching photos and they said yes. To me they are very powerful but I didn’t know if they would break their hearts again. The family used them for the memorial service they had and also used to go with some articles they had in local publications. I know I have made a difference for this families hard journey.

In 2023 I was called for 4 different families, 2 in april, just 3 days apart, but different hospitals One was twins where one baby survived. There was lots of family there. They were a little hard to deal with and when we tried to take photos of the babies together the grandmother got upset so they asked me to leave. I was able to get photos of the mom with sophia, the stillborn baby. One was a family who didn’t speak much English and had so many relatives and friends in the room. And one was a sweet young couple who had a sweet baby, Scarlett. I have become fb friends with her and she is now expecting a little boy in the spring.

I cherish these relationships with people I don’t know and will probably never see again. In most cases, and due to the sadness of the situation, I never hear from them again. I go home and edit the photos, sometimes with the help of other volunteers who are more expertise in doing the needed editing for skin and blemishes caused by death, and then upload them and send the family the link to the photos.

I think about the families and wonder how they are doing. Thanks to social media I have been able to stay connected to some. I am so happy when I hear they have had a successful pregnancy and are doing well. I know even when I don’t hear from them that we are forever connected by the fact that I spent a hour or two together with them and took the photos they may never have had if not. I also hope my empathy was of some support for them. Because of the trauma of the experience many may not even remember me or the day but they will always have the photos. When I leave their hospital room, I always thank them for the privilege of being one of only a few people that had the opportunity to spend time with their precious baby.

 

journaling;
I may have met an angel in real life. Many years ago we were on welfare and food stamps for a short period of time. When I went to the store one day the EBT card didn’t work and we had NO food in the house. Melissa was 5 and started to cry saying “What are we going to have for dinner then Mommy?” and I started to put the items back with a lump in my throat. The checker said “No”, grabbed a card and ran it through the machine and paid for our dinner. I tearfully thanked her and said I would bring the money tomorrow to repay her. She said no but I insisted. When I got there the next day I asked for Anna. The manager looked puzzled and said “We don’t have an Anna working here. maybe she was just filling in for someone.” In that moment I felt I had been touched by a real angel with human hands. I have never forgotten that connection and when I can, I am an Anna angel to someone else in her honor.

 

Wonderful challenge Ashley, it got me thinking!!!

 

Thankyou for this challenge as it encouraged me to scrap an event I had not thought of recording and should have...

 

Thank you for this challenge.