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Sentimental | Pad Patter 6.22

bellbird

bellbird

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What sort of things do you keep of your childrens, and/ or have you kept of your own since your childhood?

Decluttering is hard when you feel sentimental about stuff like birthday cards with kind words from relatives that have passed on and even the first time your child drew something discernible! I may have half a filing cabinet worth of this kind of stuff... i started scanning things at one point (beacuse they protest if they see their drawings/scribbles are thrown into the recycle bin!), awards, drawings etc but got behind and now it's getting to me. Some extended family of ours is downsizing and have sent a bag full of old metal toys (doll house kind of items and pencil sharpeners) home with us. Some things I'm amazed they have kept all these years

@bbymks5 also has a great layout about her beloved childhood toy that got me thinking about this sort of stuff this week - i have one stuffed bunny from my childhood but that's pretty much it. Maybe that's why it's hard for me to figure out what to keep and what can go sometimes...?
 
Short answer: no, I don't keep a lot of stuff and I don't have much of my own childhood stuff.

Long story below. :)

Of my baby/childhood stuff, my mom kept my "coming home" and baptismal outfits. That's it. (And they're hideous, so when I was pregnant with DD, I told her I didn't want them and she could keep on keeping them lol.) I do have a crystal elephant knick knack I got from somewhere, and that's about it. For herself, my mom keeps cards. When she dies I'll throw them out without looking. They mean nothing to me and frankly, I don't care what her friend said to her on her 40th bday. In fact, except for her engagement ring and photo albums, I could sell my parents' house as furnished and not really care about anything else in it.

In my own home, I take photos of stuff and then trash/donate it. I'm trying to teach my kids that "stuff" (clothes, toys, etc) doesn't matter, but how can I teach them that if I seem obsessed with material goods? We respect our things but we don't revere Stuff.

As far as my kids, we've moved cross-country twice and then moved down the street 15 months after moving to this state. That means in less than 6 years we moved 3 times (twice were cross-country). Those are all great opportunities to really examine what "stuff" matters enough to have packed up and then unpacked 1300 miles away (or just 800 feet down the block).

But I always get bummed out when someone says "I've been cleaning and I have a bag of stuff I thought you might like" cuz what that really means is "I'm too guilt-ridden to throw this stuff out so I'm making it your problem." Obviously this isn't always the case, but KonMari has it right: don't give your stuff to other people cuz it means they have to deal with it instead. But I'm sure I'm influenced by my own experiences. For example, my ILs decided a few years ago to move, and ever since then they've brought 3 or 4 bins--those BIG Rubbermaid bins--of DH's stuff whenever they visit. Most of the stuff goes straight into the garbage. I've actually told ILs "we don't need any if this. Please throw it out at home. Don't drive it 900 miles to us" and DH has said similar. But she kept these things--without telling DH, btw--and she feels like he "needs" it all, 20+ years since he last saw some of this stuff. But that's just MIL: she does what she wants all. the. time. and regardless of what others want/need. She doesn't even call my DH and ask "shall I bring 200lbs of stuff for you to go through?" *sigh*

Maybe that's why I take pics of my kids' art/homework/etc and then throw it away or donate it. I don't want my kids to deal with MY junk when I'm older. If I don't keep it now then there's no need to purge later. But I'm not a monster: I do keep things that they ask me to keep and I do ask them "do you want this in your box?" but they are good about making those decisions.
 
I am a very sentimental person but not about things. I don't think we have any of the kids' baby clothes, and there are just a few toys from my childhood that my parents dumped off on us when they were moving. I will likely get rid of them in the next basement purge because my children do not play with or care about them. I don't do knickknacks so we don't have those, old or new, in the house. We have a single container of school papers with our daughter's school things + my stepson's elementary school exploits.

There is a blanket that my mom cross-stitched (?!) for me when I was a baby that my son sleeps with every night. It is falling apart so I am looking for someone who can breathe some new life into it so he can have it for his child(ren). There is also a mixing bowl that I have claimed as 'mine' for when my parents pass. My children have a couple of stuffed animals from when they were babies that I will probably hold onto for them. That's all I can think of off the top of my head.

I am most sentimental about music and pictures. That's why I scrap. :)
 
Sadly I don't have much from childhood. There were a few stuffed animals I remember fondly, that it would have been nice to keep. I also had a knick knack that was my nana's and that broke. Other than that, I actually have always been a picture hoarder. I love going through the old albums and have borrowed my moms to scan into my PC.

I rather have the photos and memories than the stuff though. I hate clutter.

Of my kids, I do have ONE box that I have a few things from early school years inside. I've went through it once and I'll probably go through it again at some point to weed through what I actually want to keep. Of the things I keep, I'll probably photograph it for the scrapbook instead of keeping the drawing/paper. They also get one shoebox in their room that they can keep bday cards in. Or letters from their great grandma. We go through it periodically, meaning when I remember, and weed through that too. 50 bday cards that are essentially the same we don't need, but letters or thought out cards maybe.
 
I'm a sentimental person and have a few cherished items from my mom and have kept a box of the kids artwork/report cards, etc from when they were young but I have let a lot of stuff go over the years. I like the idea of taking a photo of a cherished item and scrapbook about it, not needing to keep the item itself.
 
I was a dolls girl. I had a lot of them and the best/prettiest/important ones are still in storage. Same as the dolls accessories that my grandparents and mom made me. I have a crib and a bunk bed that my grandfather made, my grandmother made the linens. My mom used to make dolls dresses just the same as mine.
All of that I cannot make part with. Too important.

My mom made me and my sisters binders with old drawings, school work, etc a few Christmasses ago. It's great, because I can just keep that. Everything else has been thrown away when my parents moved house.
 
I did keep the girls hospital bracelets (idk exactly where they are since the move). For my oldest, I kept a bear but she tossed it. For my middle, I kept a little grungy bear that the young lady at the Sears Portrait Studio gave to her in the hopes of getting her to smile so we could get some decent pictures, it didn't end up working, but the bear has a story. For my youngest, I will be keeping a quilt she received from the Phoenix Children's Hospital when she had to go back and redo a sweat test for the second time; luckily I was able to schedule her second test with the same amazing nurse we had the first time, and she remembered how traumatic the first experience was for her the first time around and how we were both blubbering messes, so the second test she gave my daughter the cutest little quilt made by a volunteer. I did keep my Serendipity series books from my childhood and I may keep some books from my girls but that's it.

I tossed all of my yearbooks...I looked back at what was written in there, and I didn't remember 99% of the people I had sign it. Hubby and I have already decided we will not be getting year books for the kids.

The older I get, the less I want to keep things.
 
I have just a few things that were mine when I was a child - Mrs. Beasley and an old Barbie doll are the two things that stick out. I got rid of most of our son's toys (though should have kept them - because now some of them are worth $$ - ha ha).
My mom was good about keeping my baby book, my communion dress, even some baby cards received when I was born. I have much of the same of Jacob's that I will pass along to him someday.
I just recently threw away the 100's of wedding cards we received (over 36 years ago)!
As for non-toy items - my parents passed many (!) items to me through the years. Over the past 3 weeks or so I've dug most of the stuff out of boxes and started decorating our home - trying for the "farmhouse" look ... I have things like antique Ball jars - old cheese boxes - crocks - my grandparents and great-grandparents' silver flatware, etc.
 
I have a few childhood items that my mom had saved for me that I'm still keeping or passing down to my children. Many other items were still in their house that were donated recently as they get ready to downsize. I just found that the memories of them were more important than the actual item. The pieces that I kept are varied (one of my first outfits, a baby doll, a stitched picture, etc).
The items I've kept of my children so far are their coming home outfit. Most of my son's clothing that I was sentimental about have been passed to my nephew. Almost all of my daughter's clothing went to a friend. Toys have been passed to friends and family (and some cycled back). And I've been trying to keep up with artwork/schoolwork of my son. I scan by grade level and wait for a free Shutterfly book. Then he can still "have" his artwork, but we don't need to keep 1,000 pieces of paper.
 
I don't keep much...I keep all of the memories in my scrapbooks.

The only things I've really kept and have a hard time getting rid of are stuffed animals. It seems like every one was given as a special gift from a special person & my kids were attached to different ones at different times.
 
I have pretty much kept one or two things that each of my kids had when they were little. The things that have the most memories attached, but everything else goes. I don't like clutter and I really do feel like the memory is there without having to keep the actual thing. There are a few things I wish I had kept because they might be worth something today. Cards and things I'm not really all that sentimental about. I keep a few here and there, but the rest get tossed. I am currently needing to do a major purge in my house and I will probably take pictures or scan a few things. Pictures and scrapbooks are the only thing I need to hang on to.

My mother on the other hand...oh boy! I think she has every one of my childhood toys in her attic and probably every card ever given to her or one of us. She is trying to downsize, but every time she even thinks about getting rid of things she breaks down and cries. It really hurts her feelings that neither my sister nor I want any of the "stuff". I told her I would help her, but I'm liable to just back a dump truck up to her house.
 
IntenseMagic said:
My mother on the other hand...oh boy! I think she has every one of my childhood toys in her attic and probably every card ever given to her or one of us. She is trying to downsize, but every time she even thinks about getting rid of things she breaks down and cries. It really hurts her feelings that neither my sister nor I want any of the "stuff". I told her I would help her, but I'm liable to just back a dump truck up to her house.
Click to expand...

Could you offer to document some of the "stuff" - take a picture and note the story behind some of the special items before distributing them appropriately? It might make it easier for her to downsize without feeling like she's lost all her sentimental items.
 
I am sentimental and I have kept many things from my childhood and well as my children. Alas, we don't live in a huge house and our storage space will only hold so much. I have one storage file type box for each of my children for their art work and school work. Each year they have a file folder. I'm not up-to-date because it was last summer the last time I touched it . . . but it's a good way to keep things minimal.

If I don't keep something, it gets photographed and even if I don't make a page about it right away, the photo is there to jog my memory or their memories. I either take just a photo of the item or them with the item - not necessarily when we're giving it away, but make sure there is some record of it.

Like this is my son who had an obsession with Zhu Zhu pets/hamsters.



I have decided that most everything that I've kept that is important that I want isn't in storage for the most part. It's part of our decorations/part of our lives. Like my aunt gave me these thumbprint goblets that she and my Granny and Big Daddy collected from the dollar store in the 40's and 50's. They are worth something now, but mostly it's that I have specific memories associated with drinking out of those goblets and eating ice cream out of them, specifically for Neopolitan ice cream. So I enjoy them for drinking out of and eating ice cream, sometimes Neopolitan like in this photo, or sometimes not. LOL



I think it's the MEMORY associated with the objects rather than the objects themselves that's important for the most part, but I have to say, I really do enjoy using those goblets even though they take up an entire shelf in my cabinet. It's worth it to me to give them that space.

Wow, blahblahblah on this one. Sorry guys. LOL
 
Sunberry2 said:
Could you offer to document some of the "stuff" - take a picture and note the story behind some of the special items before distributing them appropriately? It might make it easier for her to downsize without feeling like she's lost all her sentimental items.
Click to expand...

This is such a great idea!! I will mention it to her. Thanks for suggesting it. She might really like that!


cookingmylife said:
So do you think this is what our children will do with our scrapbooks?
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I really hope not! I would never get rid of all her pictures and albums, just the stuff like my prom dress from 1982 or that pig thing that her 2nd cousin gave her in 1978 :giggle.
My oldest is incredibly sentimental. When he was little, I had stenciled some vines and things on the walls in my house when it was the "in" thing to do. Well, a few years ago, I decided it was way beyond time to do some painting and painted over them. He walked in the house and I thought he was going to cry. He said, "but what about all your painting on the wall?" He hasn't lived here for 8 years, but every time I change something, it hurts his feelings. I guess I will count on him to take care of my books :)
 
I have nothing from my childhood. We didn't have much. Came from a family of 7 children and my mom NEEDED to work to make ends meet. As far as toys go I only remember playing with my neighbors toys! We were all huge readers and I remember my mom taking us to the library to get books to read.

I do have my Baptism Gown which my mother sewed and 5 of my 6 children wore it.

For my children I have only kept a small item/s.
My oldest Brian a rabbit rattle.
Erik a shirt.
Emma a dress she wore when she was 3.
Mark his baptism outfit which we had to buy because he was too large to fit into my gown. He was 12lbs 4 ounces when he was born.
Anna I had a bonnet, dress, and a outfit from her Godparents and each of these items I gave her at her baby shower a couple weeks ago.
Kurt an outfit his Godparents gave. And his build a bear with outfits.

Toys.
We have a huge bin with Legos, and the kits that still have all their pieces are in Ziploc bags
Container with Pet Shop toys
We were keeping the stuffed animals but ended up throwing those away as they got a smell in storage.
The girls had a bag with all their Barbie's and we tossed those too as half were missing their arms. legs. heads. To this day my Emma tells us we got rid of her Barbie's! She is 27!! We should of took a photo of them so she would know what they really looked like!
 
Tree City said:
Short answer: no, I don't keep a lot of stuff and I don't have much of my own childhood stuff.

Long story below.


Of my baby/childhood stuff, my mom kept my "coming home" and baptismal outfits. That's it. (And they're hideous, so when I was pregnant with DD, I told her I didn't want them and she could keep on keeping them lol.) I do have a crystal elephant knick knack I got from somewhere, and that's about it. For herself, my mom keeps cards. When she dies I'll throw them out without looking. They mean nothing to me and frankly, I don't care what her friend said to her on her 40th bday. In fact, except for her engagement ring and photo albums, I could sell my parents' house as furnished and not really care about anything else in it.

In my own home, I take photos of stuff and then trash/donate it. I'm trying to teach my kids that "stuff" (clothes, toys, etc) doesn't matter, but how can I teach them that if I seem obsessed with material goods? We respect our things but we don't revere Stuff.

As far as my kids, we've moved cross-country twice and then moved down the street 15 months after moving to this state. That means in less than 6 years we moved 3 times (twice were cross-country). Those are all great opportunities to really examine what "stuff" matters enough to have packed up and then unpacked 1300 miles away (or just 800 feet down the block).

But I always get bummed out when someone says "I've been cleaning and I have a bag of stuff I thought you might like" cuz what that really means is "I'm too guilt-ridden to throw this stuff out so I'm making it your problem." Obviously this isn't always the case, but KonMari has it right: don't give your stuff to other people cuz it means they have to deal with it instead. But I'm sure I'm influenced by my own experiences. For example, my ILs decided a few years ago to move, and ever since then they've brought 3 or 4 bins--those BIG Rubbermaid bins--of DH's stuff whenever they visit. Most of the stuff goes straight into the garbage. I've actually told ILs "we don't need any if this. Please throw it out at home. Don't drive it 900 miles to us" and DH has said similar. But she kept these things--without telling DH, btw--and she feels like he "needs" it all, 20+ years since he last saw some of this stuff. But that's just MIL: she does what she wants all. the. time. and regardless of what others want/need. She doesn't even call my DH and ask "shall I bring 200lbs of stuff for you to go through?" *sigh*

Maybe that's why I take pics of my kids' art/homework/etc and then throw it away or donate it. I don't want my kids to deal with MY junk when I'm older. If I don't keep it now then there's no need to purge later. But I'm not a monster: I do keep things that they ask me to keep and I do ask them "do you want this in your box?" but they are good about making those decisions.
Click to expand...
I can SOOOO relate to this!
 
I think I used to feel obligated to keep things... cards and gifts from grandparents, etc. I think my mom made me feel like it was not okay to throw things out because someone took time and effort to give a meaningful or thoughtful gift.

Now, with 3 kids and 5 relocations under our belts, we can't afford to keep a bunch of stuff. With every move we purge more and more. I have, over the years, come to a new perspective, much different than the one my mother tried to instill. I feel like keeping it minimal is healthy. For me, it's relationships, experiences, and moments I want to treasure, not the stuff. I'm not really a big STUFF person. We buy things that are useful. Things that will meet a need or make our life experiences better. But we do not accumulate stuff.

My mom, on the other hand, is one person in a 2 bedroom condo with plenty of storage (for someone with a normal amount of belongings), but she feels like she needs a bigger place because there's not room for her to keep all of her stuff that she's holding onto. I've tried to encourage her to donate the 10 extra blankets and sheet sets and whatnot. She just says, "Someone might need it someday." Her family didn't have much when she was growing up, and they still don't. They do a lot of passing things around as needed... it's nothing for her to drive to West Virginia for a visit and come home with a car load of stuff that someone has passed on to her (or v/v). I understand where she's coming from, but I hope it's a cycle that ends with her. I do not want to pass that torch on to my children.

My MIL is much the same way. She has tons of stuff from hubby's childhood that she tries to give to us on occasion. Nope, don't want it. If you don't want it to end up in the trash, you better just hang onto it yourself. So she does. :giggle
 
I find it's also harder to even donate things now. I have an Ikea single bed frame used about 1 month in our dining room! and our local Lutheran shop said they are overwhelmed with donations. They have often come to pick up items from us and I know they sell dirt cheap and things go right out to people who need them. I see them shopping when I come to donate. Every time I think of using Craigs' list or other such places, my upcoming week gets crazy and I know I won't know when I'll be home for anyone who wants it.
 
Scrapping with Liz said:
stuffed animals. It seems like every one was given as a special gift from a special person & my kids were attached to different ones at different times.
Click to expand...
IKWYM we've pared down to one (and a half) shelves of these for the same reason - they are from or made by certain people or represent milestones etc - they could almost have their own album!
 
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