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Common Courtesy | Pad Patter 3.21

IntenseMagic

IntenseMagic

Some grannies cuss a lot. I'm some grannies.
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Feb 28, 2012
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Today is Common Courtesy Day and it seems to me that some common courtesy is not so common anymore!
I do little experiments at work sometimes, like I will hold the door open during a fire drill and count how many students and adults actually say "thank you". Usually it's less than 5 and not just the kids. Chance will also tell you that I get really annoyed when I pull off the road to let someone get by (we have some narrow roads), and they don't give me the "thank you" wave :giggle. It also just doesn't seem to be a "thing" for guys to take their hats off indoors these days, which doesn't particularly bother me, but my mom used to judge my boyfriends based on whether or not they took their hat off when they came in her house.

Is there anything that you think of as common courtesy that just doesn't seem to happen much anymore?
 
Jan, I agree with the ones you have already shared.
I cannot think of any others but if anything comes to mind I will return and share.
 
IntenseMagic said:
It also just doesn't seem to be a "thing" for guys to take their hats off indoors these days, which doesn't particularly bother me, but my mom used to judge my boyfriends based on whether or not they took their hat off when they came in her house.
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Mine too! My parents and grandparents were very old-school about men and hats.

On the bus or subway: offering your seat to someone who might need it more (a parent struggling with a small child; an elderly person; an expectant mother...). This doesn't seem as common as it once was, which is a real pity.
 
Growing up in Pittsburgh, we had what was know as "the Pittsburgh Left." If someone driving the opposite direction wanted to turn left, you always left them go before you went. Every time! But it seems that no one else in the country knows about this courtesy.

Also, in a construction zone there were signs that say, "Stay in lane until merge point, then take your turn." But in the South where I now live there's a sign that says, "Lane closed in 3 miles" and everyone merges 3 miles before you need to. And if you try to drive in the other lane until the merge point, drivers will actually pull out in front of you to stop you.

I miss the courteous drivers of Pittsburgh.
 
mary kate said:
Mine too! My parents and grandparents were very old-school about men and hats.

On the bus or subway: offering your seat to someone who might need it more (a parent struggling with a small child; an elderly person; an expectant mother...). This doesn't seem as common as it once was, which is a real pity.
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Yes! I very seldom see this anymore...it's mostly every man for himself. It is sad.
 
djp332 said:
Growing up in Pittsburgh, we had what was know as "the Pittsburgh Left." If someone driving the opposite direction wanted to turn left, you always left them go before you went. Every time! But it seems that no one else in the country knows about this courtesy.

Also, in a construction zone there were signs that say, "Stay in lane until merge point, then take your turn." But in the South where I now live there's a sign that says, "Lane closed in 3 miles" and everyone merges 3 miles before you need to. And if you try to drive in the other lane until the merge point, drivers will actually pull out in front of you to stop you.

I miss the courteous drivers of Pittsburgh.
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I don't know how many times I've stopped to let someone turn left in front of me and then have the people behind me honking...like that 10 seconds is going to make a difference in your life...geez.
 
I grew up with the male hats off indoors policy. I told my grandson and he thought I was nuts, but since he is a sweetheart, took off his cap.

I will try to hold the door for anyone but many males feel uncomfortable when I do so ... “no, you go ahead, I’ll get it,”

My husband usually holds the car door open for me when he is driving, yet I never return the favor. Hmmmm?

A new courtesy involves elevator sharing. We were at the hospital the other day and my husband asked the three people already on the elevator if it was ok for us to ride.
 
mary kate said:
On the bus or subway: offering your seat to someone who might need it more (a parent struggling with a small child; an elderly person; an expectant mother...). This doesn't seem as common as it once was, which is a real pity.
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I used to hate this when my kids were small, and clearly struggling to find a place to hold on, and rows of teens and adults would just sit there. I always my girls once they were tall enough to hold the hand bar, it was up to them to offer others a seat.

In my Brownie unit, we use jump rope to teach manners. We talk about how these rules help us avoid conflict and makes Brownies a place that everyone wants to be. The girls think they are learning a fun game, but really we want them to (1) decide beforehand how turns will work to be the girls on the end, turning the rope (2) wait in a line - an actual line, not just standing around, for your turn. This way everyone knows who's next. (3)When someone else is jumping, you sing the rhyme. When she's done - she goes back in line and sings for you. Reciprocity - what goes around comes around!

I don't ever remember anyone teaching me any of this, but then again, my school principal didn't ban skipping ropes and balls either.
 
Men used to ALWAYS hold the door open for women, not as much nowadays (but some still do).
Another courtesy we had at church potlucks when I was growing up, was letting the older people go first. We got in big trouble if we didn’t. But now - it seems like kids get to go first because they aren’t patient enough to wait. Oh well, I shall be courteous and not say anything.
 
djp332 said:
Growing up in Pittsburgh, we had what was know as "the Pittsburgh Left." If someone driving the opposite direction wanted to turn left, you always left them go before you went. Every time! But it seems that no one else in the country knows about this courtesy.

Also, in a construction zone there were signs that say, "Stay in lane until merge point, then take your turn." But in the South where I now live there's a sign that says, "Lane closed in 3 miles" and everyone merges 3 miles before you need to. And if you try to drive in the other lane until the merge point, drivers will actually pull out in front of you to stop you.

I miss the courteous drivers of Pittsburgh.
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Is the "Pittsburg Left" at a controlled stop sign intersection or just in the flow of traffic? I'm trying to picture how this would be safe. Most of the roads around here that have much traffic are multi-lane at speeds of 40-45 mph (and everyone goes 5-10 miles over the speed limit), so it would be dangerous for someone to turn left in front of cars. Legally, cars turning left must yield to all other traffic unless it's at a stop sign and they got there first. I do try to make sure that if I'm in bumper to bumper traffic, I do not block a turn lane when I stop, and if I'm in the right lane and approaching a red light and see someone waiting to get out of a business onto the road, I will stop and leave them room to get out.

The merge thing drives me bananas as well. I worked on projects in New York for a while, and in spite of the insane traffic in the area, that was one thing they did well. Merges were smooth like a zipper! DH is one of those who will get over right away and then get mad when people pass. I explained to him how much better the end point merging works for traffic flow, and I just don't think he'd thought of it that way before. I do wish the signage was clearer. That being said, I will go along with whatever the majority are doing. It's not worth the possible road rage to save a minute or two.
 
KimJ said:
Is the "Pittsburg Left" at a controlled stop sign intersection or just in the flow of traffic? I'm trying to picture how this would be safe. Most of the roads around here that have much traffic are multi-lane at speeds of 40-45 mph (and everyone goes 5-10 miles over the speed limit), so it would be dangerous for someone to turn left in front of cars. Legally, cars turning left must yield to all other traffic unless it's at a stop sign and they got there first. I do try to make sure that if I'm in bumper to bumper traffic, I do not block a turn lane when I stop, and if I'm in the right lane and approaching a red light and see someone waiting to get out of a business onto the road, I will stop and leave them room to get out.

The merge thing drives me bananas as well. I worked on projects in New York for a while, and in spite of the insane traffic in the area, that was one thing they did well. Merges were smooth like a zipper! DH is one of those who will get over right away and then get mad when people pass. I explained to him how much better the end point merging works for traffic flow, and I just don't think he'd thought of it that way before. I do wish the signage was clearer. That being said, I will go along with whatever the majority are doing. It's not worth the possible road rage to save a minute or two.
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No lights involved. Just drivers being courteous. There’s usually a turn lane involved. Or maybe just someone trying to turn into out out off a driveway or a business.
 
djp332 said:
No lights involved. Just drivers being courteous. There’s usually a turn lane involved. Or maybe just someone trying to turn into out out off a driveway or a business.
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Gotcha. I do see people stop like this once in a while here in specific situations, but it's definitely not the norm, especially since with the multi-lane roads that means the drivers in all lanes would need to be aware of the car coming across.

When we built our house in 1995 the only way in and out of the neighborhood was onto a busy 2-lane road, and during rush hour, the ONLY way you got out was when someone stopped to let you out. Some days it was a long wait. One time I was third in line in my tiny car behind a giant pickup truck, and the wait was taking so long that the pickup driver got impatient and decided to go try the other neighborhood exit. The problem was that he didn't see me behind him and I couldn't get out of the way fast enough, so he backed right into me! Dented my hood and there was a bit of additional damage, but it could have been a lot worse. Traffic was clear by the time we finished exchanging information. :lol These days that busy road is six lanes (!) and there is a stoplight at that intersection. :agree
 
PREACH!!
I work remotely and have done for 6 years. As a project manager I get demands all day long and my day starts with a barrage of messages. I am 5hrs behind my main team. So I had to send a company wide message to say, show some manners. IF you are sending me a message for me to wake up to, say 'Good Morning' before you launch into the massive message.
Just a basic lack of courtesy! Manners are a dying breed, saying please, thank you, how are you, excuse me, good morning, good night. All seem to be things that people rarely do.
 
Yes to all the things mentioned... THANK YOU goes a long ways!

Also, why can't some dog owners keep them on their leases and clean up their messes. Not everyone loves dogs and even if they do, they don't want to have to clean up after someone else's dog or have it jump up on them. We don't have a dog right now but I'm always having to clean up dog poop that's left in our yard.

Another is parents who don't keep track of their kids in public and let them destroy things and be rude to others. Children need to be taught respect and common courtesy. I blame the parents when kids are being rude and the parents just sit there and let it happen.
 
The thing I notice and ALWAYS comment on (so my kids hear me saying it) is when we go through a drive thru or even go in (when we used to do that) and someone at the counter at a fast food restaurant just stares at you. Most don't even say "May I help you?". SO rude. When the people at the drive thru are courteous, I always comment on it to my kids and say how nice it is to hear someone with manners. I always say thank you to them and it's pretty rare to hear them even acknowledge it or say you're welcome back. It's such a simple thing, but is so easy and so nice!
 
I live in Finland, here people take their shoes off before get into the house, but there's people that simply step with shoes, which is a total lacking of respect, my husband uses to judge my friends based on whether or not they took their shoes off when they came in our house. Usually people is polite in the countryside, but not in Helsinki, there people are the most impolite that I have seeing in my whole life, they can even walk over you and never say sorry, and if you protest things can end up really bad, because people are really aggressive.
 
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