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The Mama Bear in Me is Coming out.. ROAR

I'm so sorry, Kari! Does her school have security cameras? The locker incident may have been caught on camera, which would be the proof the school needs. (I say they "need" because apparently they want hard evidence? Sigh.) Asia can give a time frame and they can look at the camera(s) in that time frame. Even if it wasn't caught on camera, they may see the offenders in the same area at the same time as Asia, which may encourage the school to take this seriously.
 
I agree with the above as far as the school. Does she have an IEP? Are they violating something in the IEP? That can be a way to get the school's attention also. When my sister went through bullying, it took a few months of documenting everything before anything changed. My mom even started out by telling the school every time that she called that she was recording the conversation, and got their permission. (It wasn't required in her state, but she wanted it on record.) Then she followed up with paper trails - emails, and a few certified letters. The certified letters really got the school's attention since the legal world sees that as proof that the school is aware, someone saw it, and there was no denying they received the information. Also, something to consider: will she stay with these girls in high school (middle if she's not there yet, IDK what grades are in your elementary schools)? It might be worth the hassle of switching schools in hopes of her making friends before she has to deal with them for years longer.

Have you printed those photos of Asia and hung them up? There are a lot of studies that show kids gain confidence and a sense of belonging from having printed photos up of them and family members. It might help her to see herself, especially if it's a photo she loves, where she feels she looks great.

Hugs and prayers to you both!
 
Sadly our local schools do not have cameras.. I guess thats what I get for living in small city mid-west.. *L*

but.. update:
Asia stayed home from school sick today.. but we got a lot done. I made a huge breakfast of Omletes with loads of ham (her favorite.. ). We talked about self essteem and how amazing she is.. and how true beauty is in the inside... and she was feeling a lot better about herself. We also .. to top it off made some brownies. (which wins any girls heart.. chocolate .. of course)

I also filed a local police report.. and called the other girls mothers. We did not press charges but wanted a paper trail. I had some good feedback from one mother.. the others not so much.. (of course their princess' could do no wrong.)..
But it is documented and filed.

I also talked to a few friends who I know on the school board .. and it will be addressed in the next school board meeting. As the local schools need to take bullying more seriously.

I also talked to asia about allowing her to take her phone to school. (but only to record bullys.. not to USE all the time for tick tocks or instagrams). And we set rules.

Hopefully this is a step in the right direction

Thank you all for reaching out and caring about my baby girl and all your words of wisdom. Truly means to much to have such amazing and supportive friends I can count on
 
bestcee said:
I agree with the above as far as the school. Does she have an IEP? Are they violating something in the IEP? That can be a way to get the school's attention also. When my sister went through bullying, it took a few months of documenting everything before anything changed. My mom even started out by telling the school every time that she called that she was recording the conversation, and got their permission. (It wasn't required in her state, but she wanted it on record.) Then she followed up with paper trails - emails, and a few certified letters. The certified letters really got the school's attention since the legal world sees that as proof that the school is aware, someone saw it, and there was no denying they received the information. Also, something to consider: will she stay with these girls in high school (middle if she's not there yet, IDK what grades are in your elementary schools)? It might be worth the hassle of switching schools in hopes of her making friends before she has to deal with them for years longer.

Have you printed those photos of Asia and hung them up? There are a lot of studies that show kids gain confidence and a sense of belonging from having printed photos up of them and family members. It might help her to see herself, especially if it's a photo she loves, where she feels she looks great.

Hugs and prayers to you both!
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Yes she has an IEP.. and I am speaking with her special needs teachers about social cues and the bullying.. to maybe have an older student or a teacher walk with her from class to class.. just for an extra set of eyes. Worth a shot

Also we have TONS I mean TONS of photos all over the house! I am kinda a photo-holic.. and now that I work as a photographer.. we have even more! *L*.. its bad.. *LMAO*
 
Have you tried to call the police and ask for advice on what to do? Or someone she can talk to there? We have a division here that they will sit down and talk to your kid. Kari, I wish I had some magic wand I could give you but I don't. We had a few bad apples in elementary school and it wasn't until I threaten the principal to go to the district that he did anything. Which was really barely anything, but at least it was written down.
 
Dalis said:
Have you tried to call the police and ask for advice on what to do? Or someone she can talk to there? We have a division here that they will sit down and talk to your kid. Kari, I wish I had some magic wand I could give you but I don't. We had a few bad apples in elementary school and it wasn't until I threaten the principal to go to the district that he did anything. Which was really barely anything, but at least it was written down.
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Just saw your update! HUGS!!!!!!
 
dotcomkari said:
Also we have TONS I mean TONS of photos all over the house! I am kinda a photo-holic.. and now that I work as a photographer.. we have even more! *L*.. its bad.. *LMAO*
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It's not bad at all! I'm glad you print a lot!
My mom doesn't print, so all the photos around are from me (oldest, pre digital) as a young kid, or the whole family ones that the older kids gifted her. I don't think there's a single photo of my younger siblings by themselves.
 
bestcee said:
It's not bad at all! I'm glad you print a lot!
My mom doesn't print, so all the photos around are from me (oldest, pre digital) as a young kid, or the whole family ones that the older kids gifted her. I don't think there's a single photo of my younger siblings by themselves.
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ohhh that is so sad. We have tons of photos hanging all over the walls.. and the kids rooms are full of photos too..
I have a giant cork board in my room.. that I cut out cute sayings from magazines and letters... to create a giant photo board.. where I have literally over 100 photos hanging .

Plus we like to get new canvas style photos of the family and Neelix every year or so.. (when I can get someone to take a good family photo)...

YUP.. I have a photo problem
 
Oh, I'm glad you have gotten some good advice and taken this on full force. My youngest is dealing with trauma from elementary school bullying I had no idea was happening at the time still to this day (she is in high school now and we moved years ago). We had some other major family issues going on at the time and she evidently didn't want to tell us about it. I so wish she had so I that I could have done something to stop it. It usually happened at recess away from teacher eyes she says, but still it makes me mad and hurt just thinking about how all of this went on for years and they were somehow oblivious, or didn't care enough to stop it.
 
@dotcomkari Brownies for the save!!! You’re a good mom. I do love the idea of a school buddy for there’s safety in numbers. We had on my son’s IEP the ability to leave class 5 minutes early to switch rooms before the hallways were packed (he couldn’t handle the crush of kids) and it worked well. This could also be another possibility.

Do keep us posted! :bk
 
what a pretty little girl she is!!
You have received some great advice, I will add to keep on at the school. You do not need 'proof' as there is no way to get it, that's why these kids do what they do, because they know there's no proof.

Do you have any support staff at the school? Ed. Assistant, Youth Worker? May be called different in the U.S. What about suggesting a mediation with those involved? I do those at my school and when it is one student vs. two or three I have the targeted student bring in someone to support them so they are not alone. We will do a Restorative Justice circle and if it is severe the parents will become involved as part of the group also.
 
No extra advice but hugs from me too. If I was in your position I'd definitely escalate the matter....specifics on how I'm not so sure as different wording and policies in every area.
 
just wanted to say ... she's beautiful and this post breaks my heart. sending lots of love and hugs your way for both of you. stay strong Kari - you will do right by your girl, i know it! you got so much great advice and we are here for you to offer support. keep us posted as this progresses ... :beat
 
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