Firstoscartgrouch

MOC9 DAY 11 It's My Life

MOC9 DAY 11 It's My Life
Firstoscartgrouch, Jan 22, 2021
Description:
MOC9 DAY 11 It's My Life
True story about a very recent advisory that was issued for my S-ICD that I depend on to keep me alive and my feelings regarding it.
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Friday December 4, 2020 I get notified that my Boston Scientific subcutaneous implantable cardioverter defibrillator S-ICD has three possible advisories out on it. I message my daughter as I just can’t look by myself. I then try to look up the advisory but it won’t work no matter how hard I try. I even text my best friend.

I’m scared, terrified actually. My S-ICD is there to save my life if I need it to. I depend on it to be able to save my life, I need to be able to depend on it 24/7/365. An advisory seriously affects me as a patient and thousands of others. Patients lose their lives over the reasons advisories are issued.

My daughter is busy on a zoom meeting, my friend isn’t replying back. I sent a photo of my card to my daughter and she looked it up. After her zoom meeting ended, my daughter came to me and said, “we need to talk.” And I knew that something was wrong. She told me that this advisory affects my device. My device is impacted by the premature battery depletion alert. My lead is clear of the two other advisories.

My S-ICD could have a premature battery depletion at any time, and not be there to protect me. I’m breathing heavily, I’m shaking, I’m crying. I’m overreacting. I know I’m overreacting, but I can’t calm myself. My daughter sees my state and gives me a big hug. We will get through this Mom.

Now I have to be the parent here as she also has a ICD that could have an advisory or failure at any time too. But she is right we will get through this. I slowly calm down, the tears stop, the shaking eases, yet I’m still heavily breathing. Why do these advisories keep affecting me? It’s frustrating . I know they affect thousands more, but right now it’s me I’m thinking of.

I think since I received my first S-ICD I have been subject to five or maybe six advisories. I have had a number of complications from having an ICD. As a patient it’s tiring, really exhausting to have to wonder what’s not going to work next. My sister had a cardiac arrest because she didn’t have an ICD then died even though she had one. My daughter got her own ICD when she was 17 to hopefully ensure she never has a cardiac arrest like her Aunt and I.

Most patients talk about being scared of a shock, I am not scared of a shock, I am more concerned if the S-ICD will work when I need it to. I don’t dwell on it, it’s not in my thoughts constantly, but having advisory after advisory issued does make me wonder.

By Wednesday December 9, 2020 my contact at my device clinic had called with a plan in place for checking my battery percentage remotely more often, every three months, instead of every six. If my battery seems to be depleting in a non expected way, it will be monitored even more closely. If it seems to deplete suddenly and prematurely then I will be scheduled to get another device. I will have an operation, the depleted device will be removed and new device implanted. Surgery comes with risks, and pain, and a whole lot of PTSD triggers. It does make me feel marginally better knowing my medical team has a plan in place. My remote check is scheduled for Wednesday the 20th of January. Until then I am trying to stay calm, and hopeful.

Postscript: Device clinic called and my device is at 76%, that news is a relief.

approximately 616 words and it is over half the page
    • bestcee
      How often do they need to be replaced? As in, how long does the battery usually last? I'm not familiar with S-ICD. Thank you for sharing your story. You captured fear and calm very well in it. I hope yours stays working for a long time. Thanks for playing in my challenge!
      Jan 23, 2021
      Firstoscartgrouch likes this.
    • Firstoscartgrouch
      @bestcee my last S-ICD lasted six years. The current one I have implanted should be expected to last 6-7 years. We shall see.
      Jan 24, 2021
      bestcee likes this.
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  • Category:
    Month of Challenges 9
    Uploaded By:
    Firstoscartgrouch
    Date:
    Jan 22, 2021
    View Count:
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    Comment Count:
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