Everyday Is a Battle

I may look fine. I may swallow it down and force a smile, but the truth of the matter is I am not ok. I am one in five suffering with mental illness. I’ve been told that depression is just a cry for attention, or that people with anxiety just need to calm the f*** down and get out more and exercise. That taking daily medication is just a weak cop-out. But I am writing this letter because I want you to understand. While I may look perfectly ok on the outside; this past year has taught me I am far from ok. Having to pretend that I don’t ever feel sad, anxious, overwhelmed or even panicked is not healthy. What I need is compassion. I need an ear to listen, learn and offer support. If you aren’t sure what to say, don’t say anything at all; but with all due respect treat me with respect and kindness. My mental illness is not going to go away overnight. I may be doing better today, but tomorrow is a new day with new struggles to overcome. It may take me days, months or even years to even be close to “normal” again. I did not choose to have these issues any more than someone would choose to have diabetes. Both are medical conditions that need treatment. I am no longer denying that I need help in my journey to find myself again. I am not afraid of hard work. When I think of the stereotypes applied to people with mental illness--- lazy, crazy, disorganized, and unreliable—I remark on how my experience with mental illness has made me the opposite of these traits. I am me, a strong young woman who happens to have a mental illness. While mental illness has many drawbacks, I choose to look forward in my life. I know now that I am responsible for taking care of myself and getting back to who I believe I should be. What I am asking of you is to be open minded, have tolerance and support me if and when I hit a rough patch (trust me there will be more than one). In the end, everything will be alright; maybe not today nor tomorrow but eventually.





Rachel Jefferies and Studio Basics: Silent Battles Stress