Well, I grew up in San Diego, so Fredericksburg, VA is a small town to me, but it is the biggest city between Richmond and Washington, D.C. so it's probably at least medium. (*Edit below.) The current population is 29,992, but it was 19,481 when I moved here in 2000. Now, that's just the city of Fredericksburg. To get an accurate picture of where I live, you have to understand that the city of Fredericksburg is surrounded by the counties of Stafford and Spotsylvania. Their county seats are not significant in size but the counties are becoming increasingly suburban.
Stafford (2000) 92,446 (2025) 169,946
Spotsylvania (2000) 90,395 (2025) 155,108
You got me curious, so I'll do the math, adding all three together.
2000 it was 202,000
Now it's 355,000
So not small nor big, right? As for your second question, my understanding is that it has been growing faster and faster over the decades I've been here. I think the people who liked the counties being more rural are disgruntled that this area is becoming more and more part of the mid-Atlantic metropolis that includes Washington, D.C. Being more of a city-oriented person, I love it that stores and restaurants have been popping up within walking distance of my house since I moved here. It was all woodland when I moved here in 2000. Unfortunately, the roads are still rural, without sidewalks, in the counties. When I moved here, I was coming from from Los Angeles, and my new now-quite-suburban neighborhood, which was 6 years old already by then but had been built on farmland, did not have (and still does not have) streetlights, and that felt so dark and weird to me. My husband and I used to talk about moving back to the city, but now we joke about the city coming to us.
I live in Spotsy county, but just 5 miles outside of the city, and I spend a lot of time in the city and identify more with it. I would love to live there. It's extremely walkable. Not only because it's urban, but there lots of trails and green spaces. My favorite coffee shop is there, I love the library, we have the Rappahanock River, lots of good restaurants and shops, an active lively main street, parks, interesting events . . . I'm also very happy with mid-Atlantic weather. We get all 4 seasons, but snow is limited to just 1-3 storms per winter, usually melting away in a couple of days. Hurricanes usually peter out into tropical storms before reaching us. We have a lot of tornado watches, but rarely do they turn into warnings. We have gorgeous flower-filled spring and all the autumn colors. Remember, I spent the first 29 years of my life in southern CA, so I hardly noticed weather or seasons until I moved here.
I feel like I could go on telling about what I love about where I live, but now that I'm back at work, I have less free time, so I'd better wrap this up.
*Edit. . . I realized as I reread this that this is not actually correct. There are bigger cities right up next to Washington, D.C., like Alexandria, and probably several others in northern Virginia that are bigger. So a more accurate things to say is that Fredericksburg is becoming like the southern extent of the expansion of the Washington, D.C. metropolis.