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What’s harder | pad patter 5.25.21

B for me too! Not because I'm worried about the way it's done, I just never want to bother anyone lol
 
Same with me, B.. I have a hard time asking for help because of this script that I've adopted from past experiences, where sometimes when I asked for help, the person would feel annoyed and shame me for needing help and tell me to do it myself. So I associate it with a negative response. I'm currently healing from this, but it's still challenging for me to seek help when I need it.
 
Hmmm... I do them all a lot... but I guess B would also be my issue. If it's not done right, I would end up fixing, directing or just altogether not asking.
 
Absolutely "I Need Help". I have always been one who can apologize and see my decisions or actions that hurt people, and I grew up in a very lovey-dovey huggy type family, so "I love you" is not difficult. However, asking for help has always been difficult for me. I never want to inconvenience anyone!
 
Probably B for me, too. Often the things I'd like help with are things I feel like I should be able to do/find time for on my own, so asking feels like a failure on my part as well as an imposition. But that asking for help hangup only seems to apply to family stuff (including needing someone to watch my kids) and household stuff. I'm much more willing to ask for help at work.
 
B. I need help

I think it's a cultural thing, we seem to grow up with the idea that we shouldn't need help, and need to become fully independent.
 
If I had to choose it would be B. While I have no problems asking for help (simply because I'm getting tired of doing everything around the house by myself!) I will watch what's being done so it'll get done correctly!
 
Asking for help for sure. I am such an independent person, I hate having to ask anyone to help me with anything. I think it got worse during the years I was a single mom and having to do everything on my own. Plus, I do tend to like things done my way and have been bad about getting annoyed when it's done differently. I'm working on that one lol.
 
I have no problem saying I'm sorry or saying I love you. Well, SOMETIMES I'll postpone an apology until I have all my words together, but I'm not violently opposed to saying it.

My answer is definitely B. Even with my chronic pain, I'll do things because I don't want to ask OR I'll ignore other things that need to be done that I can't do without causing a lot of pain simply because I don't want to ask for help. WHY IS THAT?
 
B. Asking for help.

I probably say sorry multiple times a day and Love you at least once to hubby.
He proclaims it so often it gets on my nerves at times.
 
B for me too, and while I can ask for help, I too do not want to bother anyone. If I really need help like opening something as my hands are not the best, I have no issues with that, but generally B would be it for me.
 
I'm probably an all of the above type person. I'm the WORST at apologizing after disagreements with my husband. I think it's because my parents never would admit they were wrong about anything either... they still don't. :eyeroll I'm definitely getting better at asking for help after YEARS of never asking for help and then getting mad when I'm burnt out (but never asked for help).
 
Ok I’ve had plenty of practice with “I’m sorry” so I got that one down. B is especially hard because it is hard to admit that we can’t do it all. C, well, when you grow up in a dysfunctional family, it is really hard to say because letting someone close opens you up for disappointment and pain. I say it but it is hard sometimes.
 
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