What's new

Too nice for your own good?

dotcomkari

dotcomkari

The Deaf Superstar
Joined
May 24, 2012
Messages
6,126
I am often to nice for my own good. I am one of those people who litterally would do anything to help another person. It is just who I am as a person. Eric often gets mad at me and says I allow people to walk all over me because I have a hard time saying no. And I have to admit I do feel some people take advantage of this.

Is anyone else like me?? too nice for their own good??
 
I’m this way too and help any way I can. When I get overextended, it really wears on me. My hubby has to remind me to take a step back and let somethings and people go. It’s so hard to say no sometimes but it is something I’m getting better at doing. Has taken several years to get there. Putting myself first so I’m in the position to help others when needed is what I work toward. Then I take a deep breath and pause before jumping in too deep.
 
I used to be. I would be that person doing everything to help someone, and then it bit me in the hiney....too many times.

Time, age, wisdom, and a little more focus on me helped me learn to make myself a priority. I have made an effort to be a "yes" person to go out and about, do things and really put myself out there WITH people... but more of a no person to offer my own time and effort unless I have taken some time to think it through before jumping in. If that makes sense... lol!
 
I'm not necessarily a yes person but I will tend to overextend myself in some situations. I joined the local genealogical society in the 90's. I then volunteered to be the treasurer. Then I added the quarterly newsletter. Then I started collected obituaries for the obituary file in the library's genealogy section. Then the internet exploded and I started a webpage for the society. I ended up not being able to work on my own genealogy which is why I joined! I got burned out after several years and had to quit doing all of it. I even let my membership lapse. I still don't have the desire to start researching again which I had always planned to do when I retired.

My cousin wanted me to join a small ladies organization a couple years ago and I told her no. Because I know that if I do, I will eventually become too involved to the extent that I will be personally lost. I have to make myself the priority and when involved in these organizations, I don't. I make it the priority. Not good for me mentally.
 
Oh man, I used to be so like this! My declining health is what changed my responses from yeses to nos. I still struggle with saying no, but I've said yes one too many times and ended up regretting it because of the physical pain I usually end up in. It's why I no longer do photo sessions. I try to focus on things that I'm still capable of doing, and then, after thought, I'll respond.
 
I definitely used to be like that way too much. I would volunteer for way too much stuff at my kids' school and at church to the point that it was taking me away from my own kids and family too much. Now I've learned to be more selective and to take into account my own family's needs first and then say yes. :agree
 
That would be me. I also make excuses for people way too much.
 
giphy.gif

lol- yep that's me!

HOWEVER- the last few years I've used my one little word and other yearly goals to literally say NO more often. I'm getting better and better about not over extending myself & setting boundaries! I passed off the school yearbook this year and let me tell you... THAT has been the biggest weight off my shoulders! Sometimes you just can't say yes to everything!
 
Not really. I DO not let people walk over me if that's being "too nice for your own good". I think there's a happy medium - a "balance" if you will.
 
Hmmm. I think I've gotten better over the years. My problem is that I like to be in control...so therefore I say yes because I want to get the job done and get it done quickly & the best way possible (which is my way!). LOL!!!
 
jk703 said:
I used to be. I would be that person doing everything to help someone, and then it bit me in the hiney....too many times.

Time, age, wisdom, and a little more focus on me helped me learn to make myself a priority. I have made an effort to be a "yes" person to go out and about, do things and really put myself out there WITH people... but more of a no person to offer my own time and effort unless I have taken some time to think it through before jumping in. If that makes sense... lol!
Click to expand...

Couldn’t have said it better myself.
 
Yes, I am trying to be more conscious of noticing when people are using me, so I totally understand. The problem is I go to the other extreme! LOL!!!
 
Hmm, I'm not sure that it's because I'm innately nice or simply that I don't like confrontation so am more likely to go the agreeable route! Or, with work, I do like to be in control (plus I am the only person that does what I do on the contract, so saying no really isn't an option).
 
My husband is like that, but, over the years, he's figured out that he can tell people no, if he just blames me. My kids do it too! If they don't want to hurt someone's feelings, but don't want to do something for them, or feel like they might be trying to take advantage of them, they tell them their mom won't let them. I'm always the bad guy, but I don't mind.
 
Scrapping with Liz said:
Hmmm. I think I've gotten better over the years. My problem is that I like to be in control...so therefore I say yes because I want to get the job done and get it done quickly & the best way possible (which is my way!). LOL!!!
Click to expand...
This is me! It is hard for me to sit back and wait for others to hold a meeting for one hour, when I can prioritize and get it done in 20 min. I am getting better at delegating. I might be the one in charge but I know I can’t do it all by myself.
 
Back
Top