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Santa & Elf on the Shelf | pad patter 12.07.2020

FarrahJobling

FarrahJobling

FarrahJobling
Joined
Dec 17, 2012
Messages
6,974
I know that my son (13) is aware of how Santa and his elves work....and I *think* my daughter (11) does too, but she plays along pretty well....I'm not sure....we are playing along as we have always done, but I'm so over the damn elf....and oh oh oh...he's in quarantine today, after a "steamy" date with Barbie. ha ha ha...at least we can have more fun this year.

How has it been in your family when the kids grow up? Do they play along, have fun, or just get on with it...or have any been super upset?
 
Both of my kids still believe in Santa Claus, they're 10 & 12. Before I had kids I always said I wouldn't perpetuate the myth of Santa Claus. But, there was so much outside influence that I felt I couldn't deny them what all the other kids were talking about. So, I have always told them that I don't believe Santa can deliver all those presents to everyone. I know that Santa has helpers all over the place & they're the ones that get things done. I've told them a helper can be anyone, maybe even me. And someday you may be a helper too. We'll see.

I did have to admit last year that I'm the one who fills the cat's stocking. I had forgotten to & they were worried Santa forgot. I had to say it's always been me cuz I'm pretty sure the Santa thing is only for the human kids. :whistle

As for Elf on the Shelf, the lovely @Lena Gardner gifted me her elf the year we were going through the divorce. My older son would move the elf around for him every day & make him laugh. It really helped during a sad time. We never pretended the elf moved by itself. Now the elf is just one of his many plushies.
 
I didn't make a big deal about Santa Claus and gradually my kids understood the concept just like they came to understand unicorns, dragons, and magic. I'm sure we talked about it sometimes, but I can't remember any specific conversations or moments of realization. Definitely no upset.

Elf on the Shelf creeped me out when I first saw it, and I don't like the manipulation in the way it is often used. My kids were older and never asked for it either. I think my oldest also agreed with me that it's creepy; I know she would say so now, and I think I remember talking about it years ago.

For those who do play up the Santa idea and then worry about how to deal with their kids losing belief, I read a sweet story years ago in which the mom told the daughter that now that she's old enough she gets to be let in on the secret of Santa. That anyone who helps others or gives gifts or shows kindness is a Santa. Something like that. I've seen the story pop up a few times so maybe you can find it via google.
 
I think Chance was around 12 when he figured things out. I kept it going that year, but eased in to the truth by leaving out nothing but underwear with a note that said "when you stop believing you get underwear" LOL. We had a lot more (somewhat inappropriate) fun with the elf that year and then I was just over it! None of my kids have ever been upset when they found out the truth, they just sort of figured it out and moved on, but Santa still visited every year they lived in my house, and he still visits Chance...just part of the fun. The Elf wasn't a thing for the older ones, but they had a blast when he came along to watch Chance. Funny thing is, he asked me the other day why I don't still do the Elf, and told me it could still be fun. I'm not even sure where I stashed the dang thing!
 
michelepixels said:
I didn't make a big deal about Santa Claus and gradually my kids understood the concept just like they came to understand unicorns, dragons, and magic. I'm sure we talked about it sometimes, but I can't remember any specific conversations or moments of realization. Definitely no upset.

Elf on the Shelf creeped me out when I first saw it, and I don't like the manipulation in the way it is often used. My kids were older and never asked for it either. I think my oldest also agreed with me that it's creepy; I know she would say so now, and I think I remember talking about it years ago.

For those who do play up the Santa idea and then worry about how to deal with their kids losing belief, I read a sweet story years ago in which the mom told the daughter that now that she's old enough she gets to be let in on the secret of Santa. That anyone who helps others or gives gifts or shows kindness is a Santa. Something like that. I've seen the story pop up a few times so maybe you can find it via google.
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ahhh...yes...I remember reading that too. That might be a tiny bit sappy for my kids...but it is so so sweet
 
jesskab said:
Both of my kids still believe in Santa Claus, they're 10 & 12. Before I had kids I always said I wouldn't perpetuate the myth of Santa Claus. But, there was so much outside influence that I felt I couldn't deny them what all the other kids were talking about. So, I have always told them that I don't believe Santa can deliver all those presents to everyone. I know that Santa has helpers all over the place & they're the ones that get things done. I've told them a helper can be anyone, maybe even me. And someday you may be a helper too. We'll see.

I did have to admit last year that I'm the one who fills the cat's stocking. I had forgotten to & they were worried Santa forgot. I had to say it's always been me cuz I'm pretty sure the Santa thing is only for the human kids. :whistle

As for Elf on the Shelf, the lovely @Lena Gardner gifted me her elf the year we were going through the divorce. My older son would move the elf around for him every day & make him laugh. It really helped during a sad time. We never pretended the elf moved by itself. Now the elf is just one of his many plushies.
Click to expand...

awwwww....that is a great memory, the bright moments in a sad sad time <3
 
IntenseMagic said:
I think Chance was around 12 when he figured things out. I kept it going that year, but eased in to the truth by leaving out nothing but underwear with a note that said "when you stop believing you get underwear" LOL. We had a lot more (somewhat inappropriate) fun with the elf that year and then I was just over it! None of my kids have ever been upset when they found out the truth, they just sort of figured it out and moved on, but Santa still visited every year they lived in my house, and he still visits Chance...just part of the fun. The Elf wasn't a thing for the older ones, but they had a blast when he came along to watch Chance. Funny thing is, he asked me the other day why I don't still do the Elf, and told me it could still be fun. I'm not even sure where I stashed the dang thing!
Click to expand...

My son and I have mentioned that next year, the elf can be "naughty"....I've always found the ideas funny, but counter intuitive to it's purpose....but once it's all fun and games, who knows what the mischief we might conjure up hee hee
 
We are boring. No elf on the shelf (I have issues with it) and no real Santa. He wrote letters sometimes, and we would do photos, but more like Mickey Mouse, not a magical Santa Claus.
 
My kids are 17, 14, and almost 12. We have a Jewish version of Elf on a Shelf, Mensch on a Bench. The younger 2 still love to see what he's going to do each day. My tween and her friends all send each other photos of what their elves did that day. The oldest isn't that into it, but he does look. He appreciates the days when the Mensch brings chocolate and other gifts, LOL. Mensch is only here for the 8 days of Hanukkah, which makes it a lot easier. This year he came early so he could quarantine. During quarantine he has a different letterboard message each day but isn't doing anything else. I'm playing up 2020 in his activities where I can since my kids are old enough to appreciate it. One day he'll make a hammock out of facemasks and another day he'll do something with toilet paper and include an apology note for wasting it. Every year before Hanukkah I get frustrated that Mensch is one more thing I have to do, but then I spend some time on Pinterest making a list of ideas and get excited about it.
 
My middlest was 6 when he decided Santa wasn't real - he didn't get a cell phone like he wanted, but a toy cell phone with a note that Santa and elves only make toys. I have no idea when the other two found out, they kept playing along. Likely school though. We started Elf last year when DD, the baby was 20. So you're never too old to start. We take turns and both enjoy seeing what he gets up to. He t-peed the tree last night.
 
Eyeore said:
My middlest was 6 when he decided Santa wasn't real - he didn't get a cell phone like he wanted, but a toy cell phone with a note that Santa and elves only make toys. I have no idea when the other two found out, they kept playing along. Likely school though. We started Elf last year when DD, the baby was 20. So you're never too old to start. We take turns and both enjoy seeing what he gets up to. He t-peed the tree last night.
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ha ha re he t-peed the tree.. how funny and hope you took a photo Stefanie!
 
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@cfile I even caught the cat inspecting his handiwork.
 
I'm very thankful that we never did the elf on the shelf thing. I KNEW I would forget to move him every night and I just didn't have that kind of creative energy on top of all the other Christmas stuff. My sister did the elf though and her boys were so sad that we didn't have one. :giggle The whole time my sister was jealous that we didn't. Ha ha!

As for Santa, we had a discussion with our boys when they were about 8 and 10. They were questioning Santa already, so we "let them in on the secret" that Mom and Dad are the elves and Santa is just for fun. They were very concerned at first that this meant there wouldn't be anymore presents, but once we assured them that they'd still get presents, they were totally fine with it. We still play along and don't put any presents under the tree until "Santa" comes on Christmas Eve.
 
We told our kids from the beginning that Santa Claus was a fictional account of a real person. We told them the story of Saint Nicholas and how the Santa character came from that. I had an amazing book for them called "Santa Are You For Real?" that helped explain it all. We had two rules: 1) they could NEVER, EVER tell anyone else that there wasn't a Santa for it wasn't their job to do so, and 2) that they could believe in Santa if they wanted to, because who wouldn't want to believe he exists?

It was the way I was raised. My dad was fed that Santa was real, hook line and sinker. He was devastated when he found out from a friend otherwise and didn't want us to have that experience.

And we never did the Elf on a Shelf.
 
QuiltyMom said:
It was the way I was raised. My dad was fed that Santa was real, hook line and sinker. He was devastated when he found out from a friend otherwise and didn't want us to have that experience.
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That sounds like my BIL ... he was INSISTENT that his kids wouldn't believe in Santa ... well they did anyway, b/c the other kids in the family and their friends believed. After the first couple of kids (they have 6) he gave up and played along. As far as I know learning the truth hasn't traumatized any of them ... oldest is 23, youngest is 12.

We have an elf, but he's very lazy and just sits in the tree. This year though I may have to have him teepee the tree.
 
When my children were little there wasn’t elf on a shelf.... wondering myself when it started?

just looked 2005

my girlfriend has two daughters one is middle school and another high school. My girlfriend keeps doing it for herself as she loves to come up with unique ideas. I remember laughing so hard when she told me two she did last year that had her youngest daughter yelling “come on mom... seriously!!!”

one morning she woke up to find ‘Holly’ sledding down the steps on a sanitary pad!

another morning she opened the car door as they were heading to another state for a Christmas trip to find ‘Holly’ in her seat her feet frozen (Amy put her feet in an ice cube tray to create ice cubes!) with luggage next to her and a sign saying “you thought you were going to leave me home!?”
 
As far as I know, my 11 1/2 year old sixth-grade daughter still believes in Santa. She seems more skeptical and less interested in the Tooth Fairy & the Easter Bunny. We have visited Santa every year for a photo for Grandma but he's otherwise not a huge deal in our house. We don't do the "be good because Santa is watching" thing (which is why we also don't do the Elf on the Shelf), and Santa only brings one gift to our house for each of the kids. He does bring more gifts to my parents' house (gifts are my mom's love language) but I'm not sure the kids really pay attention to which are from Santa & which are from Grandma and Grandpa.

My 6 year old son is much more into the idea of Santa than my daughter has ever been. One of the (many) drawbacks of virtual learning has been all of the kids in his class who show off their Elf on the Shelf since they're already at home during show & tell which has made him want one. He's also just much more curious and self-aware than my daughter has ever been so I assume that he will figure it out sooner rather than later. He's the one who's recently asked when Santa's birthday is, if Santa will ever die, etc.

I love Christmas but am not especially tied to the idea of Santa so while the magic can be fun, I won't be wrecked when the kids figure it out, either.
 
I don't know if it's all Jewish kids or just mine, but when you don't celebrate Christmas I think they get skeptical earlier. We never really told our kids that Santa wasn't real since we didn't want them to ruin it for their friends, but by about age 6 they were actively questioning it. My standard line was, "I don't know since he's never come to my house." Then again, my kids also stopped believing in things like unicorns earlier than their friends, so maybe it's just the way they're wired. Believing in the tooth fairy only lasted until age 8 or so, but she keeps coming until every baby tooth has been lost.
 
We didn't do Santa for a number of reasons. He was just another character in books like Maisy Mouse, and Thomas the Tank Engine etc.
When the children started school we told them that some men like to play dress-up as "Santa" and give out gifts, so they were okay with that activity when it occurred. We also let the school teacher know so she could ensure our kids didn't get into awkward conversations which would burst other children's "bubbles" They did very well.
 
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