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Sad and hoping for encouragement

Ronisdragon

Ronisdragon

Why can't someday be now?
Joined
Jan 19, 2012
Messages
717
Hi Ladies,
I've been pretty sad the past few days. We have to move from our lovely apartment for financial reasons. We simply can't afford rent, our monthly utilities, and groceries. That doesn't even count trying to pay DH's student loans or my medical debts. We are moving from a 2 BR 1.5 bath home to live with my mom. We will be staying in her guest room for a few months until she can build a kitchen in her finished basement. Then we will move into the basement for a couple of years. It is just one big room aside from where the kitchen will be which has a wall. The space including the kitchen is 19X25. A big room but we won't have a bedroom separate from our living area. It is such a huge change for us and I'm really sad. On top of all that I'm off most of my medication for my mood disorder since I'm trying to get pregnant. No luck getting pregnant and I'm also trying to find a job. I'm just so overwhelmed and down. I've been trying to keep busy with scrapping when I'm not packing. It just feels like so much. I feel trapped and stuck in a situation I can't do much to change. I know this will be good in the end and I'm incredibly grateful to my mom and step dad for helping us. What they are doing is so kind and loving. I keep trying to tell myself as long as I have my husband and my cat and dog we are in good shape. If we are together that is what is most important. Has anyone else been through anything like this. I could use some encouraging words. Thanks so much for understanding!
 
Roni, I am so sorry for your troubles and the rough time you are going through. While I haven't been through that kind of situation, I do want to offer you some words of encouragement that are born out of my own difficult experiences. First of all, focus on the positives. As hard as that might be to do some days, it really does make a difference. As you said, it really is a blessing to have family members that will love and support you through these trials. Focus on the positive aspects of your marriage and how this experience will make the two of you stronger. In my own experiences, I found that if I focused on what I *could* do rather than what I couldn't control, it was very helpful. I've also been through a long stretch of wanting a baby and it not happening. In retrospect, I can see that it just wasn't the right time. My little blessing did eventually come along and though I wasn't very patient for her, I can see now that it was God's perfect timing...so much good came out of the wait. I will hope for the same for you! {{hugs}} Take it one day at a time and hang in there! It will get better.
 
I am so sorry. :( Laura had such great advice. She is awesome at the uplifting!

I have been in a similar situation and had to live with my parents..and the hubby's actually...at different points in our life and it is so hard. It's so hard trying to stay upbeat when you feel like nothing is going the way you want it to, or should. It is rough letting yourself lean on your parents (or anyone!) when you are at a point when you feel like you shouldn't have to do that anymore. You know what though, We all need help sometimes. In some way or another. You know what else? It's totally ok to take it! It takes an incredibly brave person to lean on another person and you are sooo blessed to have them and I know you will see it as a positive soon. Something amazing is going to come from this!!!

Trusting in timing and trusting that everything will get better is always the hardest. Things never work out when and how we want them to, but I totally believe that in the end they will. Sometimes it takes a long time (too long in our eyes!) to get there, but when it does you will be sooo grateful that at this point in your life you cut back the things you needed to and you will be ready for all the awesomeness!

**I am sorry if I wasn't that encouraging! I am not as good at the wordy stuff and much better at the listening, but I wanted you to know that I have been there and I feel like there is always something ALL THE TIME that is beating me down and getting me discouraged and I wanted you to know you weren't alone and that I truly think things will get better. lots of hugs!**
 
I haven't been through this kind of situation before, but I didn't want to read and leave without offering a *hug*. Laura and Crystal gave some great advice. And you know that in the end, you're doing what is best for you, your husband and the future. Everyone falls on hard times at one point or another - you're incredibly lucky to have family that'll do whatever they can to help you.
 
roni, i am SO sorry!
we've been through some pretty tough things. i agree with laura and crystal. keep a positive outlook. very few things in life are ever permanent, but getting through them brings SUCH a reward that you could never begin to understand until you're on the other side of it. Big hugs to you. i definitely know how difficult it is to have to say goodbye to a place you love and don't want to leave. i'm so thankful that your parents are there for you guys to have a soft place to land while you're struggling. big big hugs!
 
I'm adding in another big bunch of hugs. I think it's fantastic that you have your DH and that your Mom and step dad are willing to help you out. As the others have said, focus on the good things no matter how small they may seem. This too shall pass. Hugs!
 
I just want to offer you a big hug, Roni! I am so sorry you have to go through this, but like everyone said, the hard times do have a way of bringing out the blessings in our lives too. (((hugs)))
 
{{{{HUGS}}}}

I definitely agree with Laura that focusing on the positives will help you a long way in dealing with what you have in front of you. Trust me...our family has had its share of major life changes over the past 18 months. I've got a 27 y/o living with me who has 4 young children living with a *&$^% of a mother and all that she has done to my son. But, he even told me this weekend, that when he had no place else to go, he knew he had HOME and that the way I've talked to him and helped him accept what has happened has helped him tremendously and now he has a full-time job and getting benefits and starting to find some joy in his life. Yeah, I teared up big time!

So, basically what I'm saying is that its going to be alright and you can get through this time.
 
BIG **HUGS** Just want to let you know we're all here and I'm happy you are able to share this with us and are able to offer encouragement. xox
 
Aw, sounds like you've got an awful lot to cope with right now. I'm so glad that you have supportive family to turn to while you get back on your feet. I think with the economy the way it is, this is getting to be a pretty common situation. We were almost to that point several years ago, and honestly, it's kind of touch and go again. But you are right that being with the ones you love is what matters. I hope you find a wonderful job soon, and are able to hold onto and appreciate the little joys in your life as you navigate this detour. (((hugs)))
 
Hugs to you Roni~ Hope you get moved ok and that things start getting better for you all around. I hope that your scrap pages and time at TLP help you to cope and give you that bit of sunshine that you may need right now!
 
Aw Roni, sending lots of hugs, support and encouragement to you. I think others on this thread have said things better than I ever could but just want you to know that we are here for you. xoxo
 
Hugs Roni! I hope the move will work out ok for you! I had to move in with my mother a few years ago for financial reasons so I know how hard it is to give up your home and privacy. Hopefully, this will help you all save money. And sometimes being closer to family isn't all that bad!
 
(((hugs))) sweetie... ... we haven't had to live with parents but we did go through years of infertility and then several miscarriages... I agree with Laura that focusing on the positives really helps, tho, I know it's hard to do... they say that hindsight is 20/20 and as much as I don't want to believe it when I'm going through it... it really is... my experience has given me a compassion for those going through infertility that I hadn't had before and same for those suffering loss and or secondary infertility... it was such a painful and sucky time in my life but now I see God's timing and growing that I needed during that time which not only helped me be more compassionate but also helped me be a better mama, knowing that life is full of struggles and never perfect for anyone...

my brother and sister-in-law had to live with her parents after having lived on their own for awhile... it was hard for them but again, I think it prepared them for their future which is living in a 2 bedroom condo in the city with 4 kids... totally cramped and no way of ever being able to sell their condo... so I know it's hard to see the positives while going through a situation like that but I truly believe that struggles and hard situations prepare us for real life and how we view our situations in the future...

That being said, I'm just so thankful that your family is able to take you in and help you out in this way, while you guys try to get back up on your feet. I hope you find a great job soon and your dreams of starting a family will come true soon too...
 
hang in there!!! this will be a good move for you so you all can get back on your feet. look at is as a time to grow and learn. so you have to move back in with your parents....it's really ok! having children, working, bills, all that fun stuff that comes from being adult can be really hard on us. we had to have for help when our son was in the hospital for 20 days and we were off for 6 weeks. it isn't easy but we have to do what we need to to get through. i felt ashamed and guilty but looking back i'm very grateful for the help. if you need to talk, pm me...i totally understand what you've been through.
 
Thank you ladies so much! Your support and encouragement really mean a lot! It feels good to know you care. I just love it here. It is such a wonderful community. My scrapping has been such a great constant. Something fun I can do anytime, without needing anything but my computer. I also really look forward to the chats and speed scraps and even just checking the forum. I know we will be ok and I'm so lucky to have my family. We have gone through tough times before and my husband is amazingly loving and supportive. I'm sure once we are moved in to the basement it won't feel as hard as the anticipation is making it feel. Again, thanks so much! You ladies rock!
 
(((hugs))) roni! i don't have any words of wisdom - but just wanted to let you know i'm thinking of you!
 
Hugs Roni! You've got such great advice here already, so I'm just popping in to let you know I'm thinking of you too.
 
When I was in my mid 20s I quit my job, moved halfway across the US and back in with my parents because of an illness. In a way it was really rough but in a way it was just what I needed. It gave me some time to get well which was my number one priority and my family was super supportive through it all. There's lots of good because of my move, I'm definitely closer with my youngest siblings than I would have been if I hadn't moved back home and I'm very grateful for that. Hopefully when you're on the other side of it you'll be able to look back and have the same positive feelings I do now. I feel like I'm rambling but I just wanted to tell you my experience and let you know that there's a good chance for some really great things to come about because of an unexpected setback and that you are in my thoughts.
 
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