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Reading Struggles

I've got finger, toes and eyes crossed LOL!! I just hope the online system is accurate, or books haven't been misplaced in the library somewhere; it's happened before...doh!

Tree City said:
Cool! I'll cross my fingers she likes them! DD's fave is DRAMA. In DD's words, "It's awesome. And it's funny, too." :)
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I am an avid reader, so it breaks my heart that neither one of my children are as interested in reading as I am. They read, just not to the extent that I do. I try to read a book per week.

We introduced books early, we read to them, we've modeled reading behavior using hold-in-your-hands books as well as e-books. And still they aren't in love with reading.

I honestly think that the internet/media is a hard foe to fight these days. There is so much information being relayed and so many ways to be entertained.
 
I forgot to add the series we got for my DD - and I loved them, too! It's the Mother Daughter Book Club series. They read a book, what happens in the book happens in real life. They're a fun read.
 
I absolutely agree with the internet and media aspect! I asked my girlfriend yesterday why it can't be in the 80's again when we grew up...ugh!

gonewiththewind said:
I am an avid reader, so it breaks my heart that neither one of my children are as interested in reading as I am. They read, just not to the extent that I do. I try to read a book per week.

We introduced books early, we read to them, we've modeled reading behavior using hold-in-your-hands books as well as e-books. And still they aren't in love with reading.

I honestly think that the internet/media is a hard foe to fight these days. There is so much information being relayed and so many ways to be entertained.
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I will have her check these out too!

QuiltyMom said:
I forgot to add the series we got for my DD - and I loved them, too! It's the Mother Daughter Book Club series. They read a book, what happens in the book happens in real life. They're a fun read.
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@Juliestcyr Shut up, that is so cute!!!

Depending on how the book I'm reading now ends I was thinking about making a page...so far it's really good!! Behind Closed Doors by B.A. Paris.
 
enjoyyourpix said:
Oh man!! I wish I could work with your daughter!! I hate hearing that school work is causing so many issues. There's something going on that's causing her to hate it so much and she needs a re-set! @Juliestcyr is spot on with her advice.

Totally not a fan of the reading grade based on those AR tests.

Ideas popping into my mind ... If the teacher is not able to work with your daughter about finding an alternative way to assess the reading, then you read the books with her. Take turns reading pages maybe? Talk about the book. You say the comprehension is there. Perhaps emotionally connect with the book so she retains it better for that stupid test.

Then... as for her independent reading homework ...
She's 9? Is she in 4th or 5th grade? The expectation is probably 20-35 minutes of reading a night. Empower her to tell you how she's going complete that. In my reading/studying for literacy development, this should be done earlier in the day (not right before bed). 10-15 minutes before school. Another 10-15 minutes right after school. While dinner is cooking. In the car. Wherever/whenever. Also she chooses what she reads. Blogs. Newspapers. American Girl magazine/books. Cooking websites. Fashion. Animals. Sports. Cartoons. Disney Channel gossip. History. Biographies. How to draw. Books on pets. Mysteries. Realistic fiction. Goofy young romance... the tween version of book soap operas.

What's her assessed reading level? She's at a transitional level right now. If she's weak in any areas, the books she can read might be too babyish and the books that she thinks she might want to read are just a little too hard and it it takes too much effort to hold onto the story and she gets bored/frustrated/loses interest.

When my daughter was in 4th grade, she dropped low on her reading. She was in the lowest level of books in the teachers' library. It was about the time of Twilight. (Please don't judge...haha). I read the book to her and then before we moved onto New Moon, she had to read Twilight herself. Was it the best literature? Of course not. BUT the reading level wasn't too hard, she had heard the story and had already been able to put the picture in her mind. (I think we had seen the movie too so she had those visuals as well). Then really that ginormous book (for her) was an exercise in practice and building reading stamina. By the end of the year, I got her reading level back to grade level. For her, understanding the inferences and connecting what was literally said and what you were just supposed figure out from the story based on what was unsaid was (and continues to be) a challenge. When she misses that, the story just doesn't make sense and she loses interest.

Can you sit down with her maybe and have a "grown up" talk. Talk about how you hate how homework is going and you are sure she does to. Then get her to come up with solutions to solve the problem. Be open to her suggestions and tell her that you'll try them and then talk to her about how they are working in a couple weeks. (Even if you have a feeling that they won't). Try them, see how it goes. Lay off the fighting. Maybe empowering her might help. Now's the time in 4th and 5th grade to get this power struggle fixed before middle and high school!!

My thoughts are with you during this challenging time!! Good luck!!!!!
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Really good ideas here. (Along with a lot of other posts).
Graphic novels might work. Also my grandson had a teacher that had some fun songs to go along with reading. He could read big words but was skipping over little ones and the songs helped. Also the mom read a page, then you read a page worked well too. once in a while during the book mom read 2 pages. That seemed to help things. He alwyas liked books, but reading was hard for him. My 2 daughters learned to read very differently, and his mom had a harder time than her sister, but both are avid readers now. Luckily he liked looking at books and liked books, so he kept at it. Some days were easier than others, but now he reads a lot more. He likes non fiction and the kids almanac type of books, facts that he can share. I like the idea of asking her for ideas on what would work, making her part of the solution, and reevaluating every so often. That worked with our kids when they were growing up.
Good luck! i don't envy you, but know that working now will certainly help for things in the future!
 
We're going to the library tomorrow to hopefully find a book or two...again...

Something has to give...I'm so close to throwing in the towel.

catschwartz said:
Really good ideas here. (Along with a lot of other posts).
Graphic novels might work. Also my grandson had a teacher that had some fun songs to go along with reading. He could read big words but was skipping over little ones and the songs helped. Also the mom read a page, then you read a page worked well too. once in a while during the book mom read 2 pages. That seemed to help things. He alwyas liked books, but reading was hard for him. My 2 daughters learned to read very differently, and his mom had a harder time than her sister, but both are avid readers now. Luckily he liked looking at books and liked books, so he kept at it. Some days were easier than others, but now he reads a lot more. He likes non fiction and the kids almanac type of books, facts that he can share. I like the idea of asking her for ideas on what would work, making her part of the solution, and reevaluating every so often. That worked with our kids when they were growing up.
Good luck! i don't envy you, but know that working now will certainly help for things in the future!
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bbymks5 said:
Her grade last semester in reading was almost a D!! She's sitting at a low C again this semester...IMO an almost D is not really a passing grade.
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Ugh. No, not a passing grade, but maybe a C is enough that she's content.

bbymks5 said:
taking turns where my daughter will read a page and we'd read a page;
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Have you checked out the "You Read to Me, I'll Read to You" books? They have some at our library that are grade 2 or 3. I know that's a little below, but maybe it'll be easier to read together rather than 2 copies of 1 book?

And I saw you mentioned that she skips lines, and words. Maybe she's having issues keeping her place? Maybe one of those one line at a time bookmark things would help? Like this?
51mjm0Z7LaL.jpg
 
Juliestcyr said:
LOVE this thread as literacy is something I am really interested in.

Can I just say that listening to all of the crazy point and reward and evaluation systems being used in schools makes me want to barf. WHO CARES. Seriously. I roll up to that Parent-Teacher meeting in November and I'm just like, "I don't do reading logs. We don't read your leveled readers unless that's what she wants to read. We will give you the 10-20 minutes a day, but the material is her choice." No one has ever questioned my methods.
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I don't remember having to do reading logs. I think the most I ever had to do was sign off weekly on a form that says we did the required minutes of reading. He could read whatever he wanted to, and he really enjoyed reading the books he checked out of the school library, the ones we got at the book fair, and the ones we ordered through the Scholastic book orders (I loved those!!). Each of his teachers emphasized this: "We just want them to read." The AR reading program was not required, thankfully, although he did manage to get a few prizes.

When he was in 4th grade, he was chosen to be a reader for a Kindergarten class or maybe it was a 1st grade class. His teacher picked him (among a few others), because she knew he wasn't a strong reader, and it made him feel so good that he was chosen, even though he knew he wasn't the best reader. AND it got him to read. :giggle Smart teacher!
bbymks5 said:
Totally agree!! And you hit the nail on the head...it's the daily homework battle :( GAH!! Her grade last semester in reading was almost a D!! She's sitting at a low C again this semester...IMO an almost D is not really a passing grade.
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I feel the same way about low Cs.
 
bbymks5 said:
We're going to the library tomorrow to hopefully find a book or two...again...

Something has to give...I'm so close to throwing in the towel.
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I realize you are frustrated and largely just venting, but I honestly cannot imagine "throwing in the towel" for one of my kids (who are in 5th and 3rd grade, so the same age as your DD). You've said that more than once in this thread. How you deal with this now will set her for the rest of her life, and possibly even shape your relationship with her as an adult (wow - my mom really stuck with me to get me help when I needed it most vs. my mom gave up on me, so I don't call her anymore).

Do you live near a university where there might be reading specialists or counselors you can talk to? Or a tutoring place you could call for guidance?

I know from friends that our school system doesn't test for dyslexia until 4th grade, and I know of two kids who started tutoring at a much younger age (one is currently in 2nd grade) outside of the school, because the earlier it is caught and strategies can be learned the better the kids are in the long run. I don't know that your DD fits the dyslexia profile per se, but the point being the schools don't necessarily care about the kids who can eke by on their own. My friends are very proactive in the push to find services/help for their children, even if it means paying out of pocket. And yes, it can be expensive, but when the alternative is that your child can't read or manage basic classwork, it all of a sudden becomes a priority.
 
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I'll have to look this evening when we go to the library; I don't recall seeing them, but I can't imagine why they wouldn't?

I have acetate in my stash that I could easily make her one! She likes to skip so she can get get done quicker LOL!

bestcee said:
Ugh. No, not a passing grade, but maybe a C is enough that she's content.


Have you checked out the "You Read to Me, I'll Read to You" books? They have some at our library that are grade 2 or 3. I know that's a little below, but maybe it'll be easier to read together rather than 2 copies of 1 book?

And I saw you mentioned that she skips lines, and words. Maybe she's having issues keeping her place? Maybe one of those one line at a time bookmark things would help? Like this?
51mjm0Z7LaL.jpg
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That teacher was is a genius!! She likes to read to her little sister, because the books her sister picks our are crazy easy LOL! Sight word type of books.

lizziej said:
I don't remember having to do reading logs. I think the most I ever had to do was sign off weekly on a form that says we did the required minutes of reading. He could read whatever he wanted to, and he really enjoyed reading the books he checked out of the school library, the ones we got at the book fair, and the ones we ordered through the Scholastic book orders (I loved those!!). Each of his teachers emphasized this: "We just want them to read." The AR reading program was not required, thankfully, although he did manage to get a few prizes.

When he was in 4th grade, he was chosen to be a reader for a Kindergarten class or maybe it was a 1st grade class. His teacher picked him (among a few others), because she knew he wasn't a strong reader, and it made him feel so good that he was chosen, even though he knew he wasn't the best reader. AND it got him to read. :giggle Smart teacher!

I feel the same way about low Cs.
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mollyc said:
I realize you are frustrated and largely just venting, but I honestly cannot imagine "throwing in the towel" for one of my kids (who are in 5th and 3rd grade, so the same age as your DD). You've said that more than once in this thread. How you deal with this now will set her for the rest of her life, and possibly even shape your relationship with her as an adult (wow - my mom really stuck with me to get me help when I needed it most vs. my mom gave up on me, so I don't call her anymore).

Do you live near a university where there might be reading specialists or counselors you can talk to? Or a tutoring place you could call for guidance?

I know from friends that our school system doesn't test for dyslexia until 4th grade, and I know of two kids who started tutoring at a much younger age (one is currently in 2nd grade) outside of the school, because the earlier it is caught and strategies can be learned the better the kids are in the long run. I don't know that your DD fits the dyslexia profile per se, but the point being the schools don't necessarily care about the kids who can eke by on their own. My friends are very proactive in the push to find services/help for their children, even if it means paying out of pocket. And yes, it can be expensive, but when the alternative is that your child can't read or manage basic classwork, it all of a sudden becomes a priority.
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For me, being in that position for almost 5 years, I understand this is venting and yes, it's very possible to feel like you really do want to throw in the towel. I took the thread as one searching for support, not literal as she would be actually throwing in the towel/giving up on her child. Being in a position of struggle with your young children can feel like you are in a corner. Sometimes being or have been in a similar position might allows for different kind of understanding. For us in particular, the school didn't respond to our efforts, and doctors. We actually tried multiple avenues, spent a load of money, and after all was said and done, we had to actually move.
 
Oh yes...absolutely just venting; the irrational side of me would love nothing more than to give up, take the easy way out, pass the baton; but the stronger more rational side of me would never allow it.

Early on in kinder we could ALL see her struggling, it never improved and I got to the point of begging to have her held back; however because she was where she was supposed to be in all other areas they didn't see the benefit in holding her back.

Same with first grade.

Same with second grade.

Third grade, we thought she saw the light, when she was told if she wasn't at a third grade reading level after the AIMS testing she would be held back. She skidded by, by the seat of her pants.

Fourth grade, she started out the year with all A's and B's and was on the honor roll, she was beyond happy and proud; we still have her certificate hanging on the refrigerator. I keep it up as a reminder to her, that she CAN do it, but she needs to want it; it's also a reminder to me that she CAN do it.

Her math grade suffers due to her lack of reading; there has been a lot of word problems this year.

The summer between 2nd and 3rd grades, we paid weekly for her to be tutored by a teacher she really liked from her school. There wasn't any real improvement, and the teacher came out and said, she has the skills, she just doesn't want to use them. We absolutely don't mind finding her a tutor, but I don't want to waste his or her time...especially when there are other children who are struggling and WANT to put forth the effort, I feel like I'm cheating them.

I asked her teacher just last week at Student/Parent - Teacher conferences about the possibility of having her held back; and it's basically zero. She somehow managed to bring her term 3 math grade from an F to a low C (3 percent away from a D); and this morning I received notification that grades have changed, and her reading is now a very low B (1 percent lower and it will be a high C which is fine) so I hope this will encourage her to continue.

I really do struggle with "is there something we're missing; is there an underlying problem that hasn't been figured out yet?" and "she is just being lazy and pushing my buttons to see how far she can push before I lose my mind!!"

Maybe I expect too much, I don't know? I don't expect them to make straight A's, but low C's are not passing in my opinion. She watched her oldest brother (my stepson) skid by, by the seat of his pants with absolutely zero repercussions from their dad which doesn't help her or myself. She constantly brings up "well Austin go this grade" "Austin did this or that" and I have to remind her all the time that I'm not her father, I had zero say or control over Austin and I will not lower my standards so you can just skate by and not put any effort into anything. My stepsons attitude towards school has carried over into his working life, which obviously isn't good.

I really hope this isn't coming across in the wrong way; it's not my intention at all. I'm not angry or upset; just frustrated.


mollyc said:
I realize you are frustrated and largely just venting, but I honestly cannot imagine "throwing in the towel" for one of my kids (who are in 5th and 3rd grade, so the same age as your DD). You've said that more than once in this thread. How you deal with this now will set her for the rest of her life, and possibly even shape your relationship with her as an adult (wow - my mom really stuck with me to get me help when I needed it most vs. my mom gave up on me, so I don't call her anymore).

Do you live near a university where there might be reading specialists or counselors you can talk to? Or a tutoring place you could call for guidance?

I know from friends that our school system doesn't test for dyslexia until 4th grade, and I know of two kids who started tutoring at a much younger age (one is currently in 2nd grade) outside of the school, because the earlier it is caught and strategies can be learned the better the kids are in the long run. I don't know that your DD fits the dyslexia profile per se, but the point being the schools don't necessarily care about the kids who can eke by on their own. My friends are very proactive in the push to find services/help for their children, even if it means paying out of pocket. And yes, it can be expensive, but when the alternative is that your child can't read or manage basic classwork, it all of a sudden becomes a priority.
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jk703 said:
For me, being in that position for almost 5 years, I understand this is venting and yes, it's very possible to feel like you really do want to throw in the towel. I took the thread as one searching for support, not literal as she would be actually throwing in the towel/giving up on her child. Being in a position of struggle with your young children can feel like you are in a corner. Sometimes being or have been in a similar position might allows for different kind of understanding. For us in particular, the school didn't respond to our efforts, and doctors. We actually tried multiple avenues, spent a load of money, and after all was said and done, we had to actually move.
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What happened after you moved?
 
Absolutely...

I feel like I'm alone in this battle; hubby always did well in school and didn't really have to try so he has this attitude of "some kids just aren't school kids" seriously?? NO! It also doesn't help when she sees this very attitude towards her older brother who barely graduated...and would a 5th and 6th year senior had he not gone to an alternative HS, not even exaggerating. On the flip side, he will tell her she needs to read, and that it's important and classes and homework will just continue to get harder, but taking actual steps in helping doesn't happen; so again with the mixed signals from dad.

I have also asked myself I expect too much from my girls; but when I look at what HS is like and what is expected of them vs what my graduation class of 97' was expected of, I really don't think I can am? Could I be wrong? Absolutely. But I also look at how the world is now, and having worked in the corporate offices since I was 21, I know the lazy attitude will get her nowhere; especially after spending 7 years in HR for a large big box retailer.

jk703 said:
For me, being in that position for almost 5 years, I understand this is venting and yes, it's very possible to feel like you really do want to throw in the towel. I took the thread as one searching for support, not literal as she would be actually throwing in the towel/giving up on her child. Being in a position of struggle with your young children can feel like you are in a corner. Sometimes being or have been in a similar position might allows for different kind of understanding. For us in particular, the school didn't respond to our efforts, and doctors. We actually tried multiple avenues, spent a load of money, and after all was said and done, we had to actually move.
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