Pad Patter 8/12 - Panhandlers/Beggars

I am so soft hearted, but even I can drive on by - especially if I'm alone. Sadly, it only takes one person to give all of them a bad name. My husband was getting off the highway about a year ago and saw someone that he had given money to earlier in the day getting into a BMW. I was heartbroken when he told me. And he was livid.

That being said, I once cried all the way home when I saw a man holding a sign that said veteran. I don't know why that one got to me, but I was alone and didn't want to stop.

 

I don't stop either. Or for hitchhikers. I might stop for a hitchhiker if they look not crazy enough. But most of the time it's just me, or just me and my kids driving and I don't want to risk it. And our car is small, so if all of us are packed in, well we don't have room for an extra person anyways! I enjoy being kind to people, paying it forward and all that stuff, but yeah I've heard too many stories about panhandlers to stop and help them out. You just never know.

 

I do not ever give money to panhandlers. I've had many approach me at gas stations, also coming to help me put my groceries in...and then ask. Really guy? DO NOT APPROACH A WOMAN EVER IF SHE'S ALONE!!!!! I will snap their heads off if they come over to me.

My niece was a panhandler when she lived in Seattle. I've heard all their stories and tricks. They are still out there because there are always people that will give them money.

I give my money to programs that are legit and set up to feed and clothe the homeless.

 

I would def. not stop....too much of a chicken, you just never know!! We had this once...

My DH is moroccan and it was the first time for me to drive there (in 2006). As soon as we got to land after being on the boat for 6 hours from spain to morocco, when we were all pooped and so so tired, this young guy approached the car... I think he was about 9 or so. We had the window open, cause it was very hot and didn't had airco. The kid was running through the streets, putting his dirty hands on the window (my luv rolled them back up as soon as he saw him coming)... begging for euros. Lotsss of people are very poor in morocco, but then do you euros (our currency). It was pretty scary as I had no clue what was going to happen...he stood in front of the car and only walked on a few minutes later. With the dirty hands & the sight of this kid in my head, banging my window... we had to drive another 2 hours and it was the only thing I thought about all the way to our appartment.

We do give to charity and all, but I don't like the sight of people begging at all!

 

I am seeing it more and more in our area as well. I do not stop when I am by myself though. Growing up in south FL. put the fear in me I suppose LOL. I will say though that it breaks my heart and I usually can't get the person out of my head for some time. And, then I am always second guessing myself about whether I should have stopped and done something for them. We saw 2 young girls once (maybe early 20's) with a sign up looking for a ride and it just really bothers me still that we should have taken them to eat maybe or something because I kept thinking that they are someones daughters somewhere. I can't even imagine if it was my child! Stuff like this though really saddens me. There used to be this famous place I loved to eat downtown but I won't eat there anymore because on our way in we passed several homeless people on the sidewalk and then went in and spent over $100 on a meal. Talk about almost choking on your food. It was miserable that night and as much as I love the chocolate at this place I can't bring myself to go back.

We have a wonderful rescue mission in our part that we support and they do amazing things!!

 

i dont give either.here you have the foreigners with a sign saying i dont speak english shoved in ya face,when we went to turkey they was terrible there,they used to lie on there floor and ask for money to feed there children

 

In Memphis we've always had a lot of them, especially around where the University is and where John works. My best friend and I rode in together every morning and we never gave them money. However, in the winter, right before getting to the worst area, she'd stop and get 2-3 coffees and hand them out to them. Won't lie, made me nervous as all get out. And there's a gas station right down the street from the shop John's at and there's always at least 2-3 people begging for money RIGHT next to the doors. Always. I will drive another 5 minutes to get to a different gas station.

 

People on the side of the road no-- I'm too afraid that every one of them is a rapey murdery car jacking person. People asking for money otherwise, I will usually give my change too. We don't really have the folks with signs and weirdness around here-- but we do have a high % of homeless (and drug addicts and genuine crazy people) roaming around esp where I use to live. I never have much of anything on me.. like 2 bucks at most though. I've been stopped in the parking lot of the market before and it makes me pretty uncomfortable-- but I carry mace and will not hesitate to use it if threatened

 

When I lived in downtown Indy, I was approached inside a Taco Bell and in a Wendy's drive through for money. Thankfully, I was with someone else at the time. The worst time was when I was at a downtown gas station and a man approached me on foot who first complimented me on my hair and then told me that he needed a ride to the children's hospital as his nephew (?) was sick there. I kept brushing him off, and he kept trying to talk me into it. Thank God that I had a five in my pocket which I shoved into his hand, vaulted into my car, locked the doors, and sped off. That really freaked me out.

I do make exceptions for street performers. There's a homeless guy in Indy who plays the saxophone, and he's really good at it. I don't care whether he's actually homeless or not; I am awarding his performance.

I'd rather contribute my money to my church and charities of choice to be funneled into the right hands.

 

So I live outside of the US and have never had to deal with this issue Stateside too much, BUT when we moved to Indonesia ten years ago, we had to decide how we were going to handle it because we would get bombarded with beggars at every stop light. Not just beggars, but guys serenading our car for money, washing the windows, etc. The Bible says "give to everyone who asks of you," and I just can't get around that. So we started packing little baggies of water/peanuts/vitamins to hand out at red lights, and they were a big hit. Unfortunately lots of beggars work for a syndicate and make a daily salary, regardless of how much they "earn" begging. : ( In Malaysia it was different, and we rarely saw beggars and when we did we usually gave them food or the equivalent of a dollar. We're in Manila now, and I'm crying as we go through downtown. Filthy children being carried around by filthy mothers begging; kids as young as 4 and 5 darting in and out of traffic to beg; it's sickening, but I try to keep small pesos handy to give them. But here I can be sure they aren't getting into a BMW at the end of the day.

 

The one time that haunts me is when we were visiting Vietnam. We were driving through the counrty and we saw a family herding water buffulo along the side of the road (actually a main highway but that is one of the hazards of Vietnam). Our driver stopped asuuming we would want photos, and it was only then we could see how poor and downtrodden this family was. The mother looked as if she had given up, the little boy came and banged ont he side of the taxi and asked for money. Our driver sped off and I felt as if we had exploited them so badly. $5 would have made no difference to us but it could have fed them a couple of meals - I still feel awful about that.

Cambodia have a lot of professional beggars, families keep their kids home from school to prey on tourists, becomes a viscious circle then, another generation of uneducated people who keep begging.

Very few beggars around here, and never in your face - we're lucky, only window washers at traffic lights who I can ignore.

 

Like Kellie and Karen have said, it's difficult being in south east asia. We see the same beggers every day we are in the 'touristy' areas, with the same wounds or problems. It becomes a cycle.

Cambodia was hard as well. We had one girl come up to us and rotely cound up to 10 in English, French, Spanish, Chinese and another couple of languages. Then she asked us where we were from and when we said Malaysia, she started counting in Malaysian! She was about 4 years old as wanted to sell us 10 postcards for $1. Its difficult to say no because you know $1 is not much, but you also know you will be opening the floodgates and fuelling the cycle. I told her she was very clever to count in so many languages and she needs to go to school. But I know and they know, why go to school and learn to get a job where you will only make $5 a day, when all you have to do is sell % sets of postcards from age 4. So sad.

 

I don't EVER stop for hitchhikers EVER. I know it sounds horrible but I will not take a chance with my children. I am psycho protective. My hubs will when he is alone which I yell at him for. I live near downtown Cincinnati, Ohio and I will not give to panhandlers either. I have heard and seen too many horror stories from the city. If I was to even slow down to give them something, I would be followed and raped and robbed before I got back to my car. I hate to sound crass but I always give to anyone that "needs" it but if you aren't willing to help yourself, no way. I have 3 kids to feed. KWIM?

 

We have on occasion bought a sandwich/soup, coffee or the like to give to someone sitting outside a coffee shop. I prefer to do this instead of giving money because I know it's giving a meal to someone who is in need. I have had a few negative experiences. A few months ago I was in our local pharmacy and a man was walking through each aisle asking people for a dollar so he could buy a newspaper. When he asked me I told him I didn't have any cash with me. Completely true as I rarely carry money and instead use my bank card. He eventually made his way back to where I was and asked again, as though my answer would somehow be different this time. Again I explained I didn't have any cash with me. He turned to look right into my face and yelled "you're a LIAR!". Kind of unexpected. And he only ruined it for himself as I had planned to get cash back when going through the checkout and give him a few dollars, but not so much after being accused of lying, ya know?

DH and I lived in Argentina for a few months for work and I never got used to seeing little ones out with their mothers on the streets. We were told some women without children would pay a woman to "rent" a child to take out begging for the day.

 

I can honestly say I've never once seen someone begging. Not that my life is charmed or anything like that - I've lived in some scary areas for sure 0_o But the closest I've ever come to that sort of situation is people asking if I had a spare cigarette (I'm so not a smoker - eeww) I can say without a doubt though, that there's no way I would stop to give to someone on the side of the road etc. There's just too much at risk, safety wise. I'd love to be able to save the world and all that jazz, but unfortunately it's just not that simple. I give to reputable charity whenever I can

 

My ex's family owns a general contracting business, and his grandfather once stopped and told one of those guys with the sign that he had a day's worth of work for him, $11/hr (and this was 10+ years ago). The guy said "I make more than that here."

Pretty much ruined any of them ever getting money from me. I'm sure once in a while they are legit, but I think on the whole no. Luckily I live in Smalltown USA and they pretty much don't exist here. I can't remember the last time I saw one. Maybe when I ventured into Cleveland, which I rarely do.

 

We don't really have anyone with signs at the side of the street here, but in a rare occurrence I do get asked and I usually give them a bit of change (if I have any)

 

Exactly. The rest of us work hard and pay our taxes and all the rest of that jazz that goes with being a responsible member of society. I know there are people who cannot work, disabled or mentally ill, but there are aid programs that help them. I've seen too many people who would rather take the easy way, people who live in million dollar homes who beg on the road side as their only source of income, tax free.
One thing that has stuck with me for years, is when I was a broke college student, I was downtown with my friends and came across a group of young people begging on the road. They were wearing Doc Martens, and begging for money. I, the hard working college student with a job, could not afford Doc Martens, and they could? Made me view begging a different way after that day.