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I'm just going to put it out there

carilyne

carilyne

It's only impossible if you think it is
Joined
Dec 30, 2014
Messages
4,175
Ladies I'm in trouble today. (not suicidal, but feeling like my mind could break). I was healing and asked my dad a question that just turned the last eight years upside down and really a lot of my life. My dad's been lying to me out of one side of his mouth and resenting me out of the other. My family has turned on me.

The art journal piece I'm working on is so ugly and scary I probably won't show it. But I'm trying. I just need a lot of prayers and good thoughts today.

I have to get faster at posting good steps so I'm not always such a downer.
 
I'm sorry Carrie! I hope that the scrapping process will help get you through this, even if you don't post it. I won't offer up advice or anything you "should" do because this is clearly something intensely personal that you will probably have to work through on your own, but I am thinking about you and hope you're able to find a little bit of joy today!
 
I am hoping the power of putting words into art helps you start healing. These situations are so hard, especially when we have a parent/loved on that gives out things that changes our focus.

Huge ((hugs)) hun♥
 
Oh I am so sorry -- it hurts more when it is a family member that caused it. Scrap/journaling will help. Sending positive thoughts and prayers!
 
Sending you hugs, Carilyne. Like Julie said, this sounds like it is so deeply personal that it isn't something that I could offer advice on, but wanted you to know that I'm thinking of you.
 
Thanks ladies. He is mentally clear (dementia can start setting in with Parkinson's but hasn't yet). It's not anything you can advise on (although my therapist will probably try). He lied to me 8 years ago and says I'm trapping him when I just figured it out. A lot of decisions were made on that lie and so he feels trapped.
It just helps that I am surrounded by online friends. I've been trying to keep it all quiet since I first suspected and
 
You're in my thoughts Carrie. Don't bottle things up, get everything off your chest ... a therapist/somebody who is completely detached from you & your family - even if they can't advise, it may help you XX
 
dawninskip said:
You're in my thoughts Carrie. Don't bottle things up, get everything off your chest ... a therapist/somebody who is completely detached from you & your family - even if they can't advise, it may help you XX
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Strong believer in therapy. Actually supposed to start my Marriage and Family Therapist classes next week. Yes it does help, and they help you sort it out when it's such a jumbled mess. I have a Masters in Counseling but not enough class hours for a license. But they say a therapist's best asset is his or her own therapist.
 
lies are such a violation. they seem to breed in our minds. try try my friend to think of good things, and maybe
this video will help.
My mom used to sing this when I was little and it totally makes me think good things
three minutes to make you sing
 
Hugs & prayers going to you! Remember that the only thing you can change is yourself. May you be given the wisdom and strength to handle this!
 
CArilyne,
I am serious you can always text me any time here or in Facebook. You are a wonderful, loving, beautiful woman. WE LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU! XOXO
 
@carilyne, sending you a great BIG hug. No matter what the people around you say or do, you are whole and Just Fine even if it doesn't seem that way right now. So glad you have the background and your own therapist to get the good feelings down from your head (where you know...) to your heart and gut. It sucks when a family member can hurt you like this but I hope you can purge the bad feelings though your art. <3
 
Oh, goodness. But thank you for reaching out to all of us. That's a huge step! Life can be really hard at times, can't it. I'm sending prayers your way.

Look at the page as art therapy. Keep it to remember how strong you are; trash it if it's too painful. It's something you can control. Then, when you need a smile, just take a look at @AnneofAlamo 's avatar. Makes me smile every time I see it!
 
I'm sorry Carrie. Lies are a horrible horrible thing, the secret doesn't usually stay hidden forever. What's done is done. You'll get through the hurt. You are loved, we do care about you, you have support. I know it especially hurts coming from a parent. That whole situation is out of your control. You've had to assess & regroup several times recently. This is just another one of those times. Hang in there, you will pull through.
 
jesskab said:
I'm sorry Carrie. Lies are a horrible horrible thing, the secret doesn't usually stay hidden forever. What's done is done. You'll get through the hurt. You are loved, we do care about you, you have support. I know it especially hurts coming from a parent. That whole situation is out of your control. You've had to assess & regroup several times recently. This is just another one of those times. Hang in there, you will pull through.
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Or come look at yours to see who you are today! Today's is so cute. Love the expression.
 
Sending you some good thoughts! I do know that scrapping seems to be good therapy, at least for me, anyways.
 
Thinking of you, Carilyne! Hoping your scrapping and visiting here has brightened your day a little! Know that we are here and if you need anything, please reach out! :beat
 
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