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If there was one decision you could change...

PLM

PLM

I know there's something in the wake of your smile
Joined
Jun 28, 2014
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I'm having lots of stressed days at work lately... Not lifeshocking news, I know, everyone has stress in the current times we are in... :whistle

But I changed to this place about almost 3 years ago and ever since I have never been really happy at 100%... It's sad to say, but it is. :hummm
I came from a very good working place with collegues who were my friends, we had each other backed and there was real team spirit. I changed from job because of the distance when my youngest boy was just born, I had to drive one hour up and one hour down.
So, when a place came vacant way closer, I took it. With lots of pain in my heart, I cried and cried, but thought I was doing the best for my family. :nuno
It is more practical, that's true. But I am always on edge, looking over my shoulders, .. I won't bother you with the stories and details of the past, but there is backtalk, un-open controlling, ...

It has come so far now I am thinking of giving up my appointed staff place (they can not fire me).
If I could, I would undo my choice of 3 years ago and work halftime.
Then, I would have collegue friends and a mind at ease.

So, after my story (sorry if I bored you):
If you got to change one decision from the past, what would that be???​
 
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I would have divorced earlier. I stayed so the kids could have more time with their father but they really don't recall when he lived with us. It was just longer that I was unhappy.
 
The only decision I would have changed was where I went to college, but that would have then dictated a completely different life path for me with presumably a different husband and different children. So I can't fathom at this point making that choice over again, even if it made other things better.
 
I would've studied something different in college. I wanted to be an architect, but I was offered a music scholarship and took the easy way out. I wound up teaching music for 9.5 years, and while I enjoyed it for the most part, it was not my calling. That said, I'm back at work in education now, and I enjoy it so much more. It probably has to do with the fact that I'm not working as a teacher, but as a reading paraprofessional instead.
 
staciahall said:
I would have divorced earlier. I stayed so the kids could have more time with their father but they really don't recall when he lived with us. It was just longer that I was unhappy.
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This. exactly.
 
mollyc said:
The only decision I would have changed was where I went to college, but that would have then dictated a completely different life path for me with presumably a different husband and different children. So I can't fathom at this point making that choice over again, even if it made other things better.
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This is me too. I can't imagine a life without my husband or kids. I met my husband at college. :)

In my family, grandparents pay for college, it goes back multiple generations, and allows immediate parents less stress of saving/having the money for college, if that makes sense. I opted to go to a county school for two years cause I felt guilt that my grandparents would have to pay $25K plus (way back then, lol) for school a year. It was my dream school, and I got in. I was ecstatic until I looked at the tuition. I should have felt blessed, and talked to them before I made my decision. When I re-applied 2 years later, I didn't get in. I did well at county college, just not well enough.

After that, I would have to change my degree and study of choice. I have degrees in Business/Marketing and Psychology. If I were to go a different route, I would become a Neonatal Nurse or a Nursing Case Manager.
 
I would change my degree too. I can't say I wouldn't change going at all (but holy student loans batman) because that would change EVERYTHING. I majored in a small, cliquey department that I hated but I was too stubborn to leave because I didn't want to be one of "those" people. Silly, silly girl.
 
my parents taught me to never regret anything. I made a lot of mistake ... but they have always ended up giving me a positive things in my life.
For instance, I believed I had made ​​a mistake by accepting a job a few year ago because it's really hard to work with my boss.... but during this period I met my husband at work.... and finally, during this work i also meet my current boss that propose to me an amazing job in which I flourished. It's not always easy to conciliate my personnal life and my job life. but i try to see the positive things in all situation
 
I wouldn't have wasted several years on bridging courses and racking up a huge student loan but in saying that some of that study got me to where I am today - almost 2/3rds the way through my degree so can't really complain
 
Hhmmm, reading your stories reminds me my mantra after my first "real love" left me. If I hadn't been through that, I never would have been the person I am now. Nor would I have met my husband and have my sweet boys.
Never the less, this is for me a decision I would change without a doubt!
 
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buzinettescrap said:
my parents taught me to never regret anything. I made a lot of mistake ... but they have always ended up giving me a positive things in my life.
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I am a firm believer in this, too. I know that all things happen for a reason. I was turned down for several teaching positions over the summer and I truly believe it was because I had a better (not better paying, but better in other ways) opportunity around the corner.
 
i would change my degree and do something much more philanthropic. something where my work didn't just line the pockets of a corporation, but helped people or animals that were in need. i hope in 12 years i can retire and do something different.
 
I think I should have also chosen a different school that wasn't so expensive (gotten love that student loan debt!), but I know that would have changed everything else that happened after that, so I'll stick with what I have, debt and all! :)
 
staciahall said:
I would have divorced earlier. I stayed so the kids could have more time with their father but they really don't recall when he lived with us. It was just longer that I was unhappy.
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This, exactly! I swear if Stacy's post didn't have her name it would be mine with this comment.
 
For me, it would have been to change my mind about not having a C-section with my second son. I was stubborn and desperately wanted to experience a natural childbirth because my first son was born via C-section. Now my reasoning at the time was well founded. My recovery time took so long and I was in a lot of pain. I hoped that by having a natural childbirth that my recovery wouldn't be so difficult especially with a toddler at home. Well, with 18+ hours of labour, my sons heartbeat started to fade and he was breeched. I ended up having an emergency C-section and actually had to be put to sleep and wasn't awake for my baby's birth. It was heart wrenching when the anaesthetist told me it was the easiest and safest way to deliver my baby. I understood but part of me will always feel like I was robbed from experiencing that moment... If I had just agreed to the C-section I could have at least been awake. My husband couldn't even be in the room. Now over 7 years later, it still hurts a little but I know that there was nothing I could do and it basically saved his life. He is an amazing little boy and keeps us on our toes. How he was born isn't important... but still... I if I had only agreed to have a C-section.
 
I'm a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, and no matter what's going on, I'm where I'm supposed to be (or at least heading in the right direction). I hear you about your current work situation. It sounds exactly like a job I had about 13 years ago. It was miserable. I feel miserable just thinking about it. However, if I hadn't been miserable, I would never have quit my job (it was easier for me, I was young and had no responsibilities), gone on a tour of Italy, and gotten a job as a tour guide in Europe which was the best thing that ever happened to me. I spent 5 years doing laps around Europe and it was awesome!

I rarely regret things, but my one big regret in life is the same as Molly's. I would have chosen a different place to go to university. That's the only part of my life that I want to do over again.

Thank you everyone for sharing your stories. It's nice knowing that you're not alone!

:)
 
Sorry you're having stressed days at work. That is no fun at all. This is an interesting question you raise. I have had my share of struggles in my life and have made some HORRIBLE decisions along the way... however, I don't think I would change any of those things because it got me to where I am today with my husband and my 2 beautiful boys and I would not want to risk changing that outcome at all. It stinks to have stress and struggles, but hopefully in awhile you'll be able to look back and say it was all worth it. Hugs to you!
 
That's so disappointing and stressful about your work situation - I hope something better comes your way soon!

I have made quite a few bad decisions in my youth - and I too would change the degree I did - but only if I could end up in the same spot I am now - which probably wouldn't have happened..

I also would have stuck up for myself a lot more esp against my MIL, she said quite a few things that I just let go but should have pulled her up on, but she has passed away so even those thoughts don't worry me anymore - although I lost a lot of sleep at the time...
 
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