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I have TEENS - HELP

we had nothing in house for electronics...it is just how we were...and my kids took old flip phones and were on line in crazy chat rooms and we only found out, cause I got up at 2am and saw blue lights from their rooms.
It was crazy! I mean off the hook crazy!
the pain of lies, disrespect and just out and out rebellion about killed me!!
jumping out windows to teen pregnancy..drugs, rehabilitation centers, counseling sessions, so many, late night police at door, heck afternoon police at doors. so many 911 calls, and drama...ugh
it was and still is hard.
hard
I cry typing.
I love my kiddos. but they find new ways to hurt me everyday, it feels like.

We actually (hubs and I) decided it was time for us to bond and we refuse to let our children's choices affect our joy. We are the parents, and we are gonna parent(verb) our kids the way we know is right.
It is hard.
but.........on a happy note,
three of my older kids now have kids, and and in 12 years, they will be teens....
and I am healthy and come from a long line of living into old age people!
I will
watch and smile....
as a grandparent, and await the call from them, what the heck did I do to you mom, I am so sorry.

cause I made that same call to my parents. They smiled. and I think my mom gets much satisfaction from some of the drama.
 
Sending you all HUGE "man its tough to parent a teen' hugs!
My teen (17) DD is a funny, smart, stubborn, opinionated, hormonal, strong, grumpy, adorable pain in my patootie!
We had a very hard time when she was 15. Things happened, that caused a lot of heart break, fear and tears and the fall out from that still hangs over our relationship (and my confidence as a parent) BUT .... we communicate (even the ugly stuff), we let it all hang out (and cry a lot which helps), and we work at our relationship daily. Each kid is different so I won't presume to offer advice here, you sound like you are doing all you possibly can, but I can offer you a big hug and a sincere wish that it all works out for your family.
 
Hugs to you for sticking to your guns on the contract ...hopefully he will learn his lesson!
 
Jan had some good advice. My kids are adults now, and whew, they are terrific. Son had the hardest time as a teen. I nearly blew it at one point and had to learn myself that a hardline wasn't what he needed.[ Pray for discernment so that you know when a clear hard line IS needed.] He already knew right from wrong, but was struggling with his faith and needed to know that love is unconditional. We finally communicated that we love him no matter what. Period. Unconditionally. But privileges are different. They ARE conditional. And "if you show yourself trustworthy then you have them. If you don't-- you don't". And NEVER make an emotional decision as a parent! Cool down, and take a break from the situation and pray about what to do. The answer will come.
The world is SO different from the one I grew up in. The more I deal with kids at school, the clearer that is. They are losing their innocence at a crazy young age- before they are ready to handle it, and that can make their hearts harder. I can't imagine what it will be like when my grands are teens. Prayers go out to all you parents!
 
I have cats. They fight and may pee on the floor. No advice just a hang in there and hugs!!
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Have mercy, teens. My son is WAY different as a teen than my daughter was as a teen. She's 22 now. Daniel is 13 so has just started the teen years. He's frustrating in his thought patterns and choices.

My only advice is to keep him talking. That means you have to talk and share, and from what you've posted later in the thread, it sounds like you're doing that. Hang in there, Mama. You can do this!
 
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