How would/do you build a wardrobe?

[tkradtke]

... on a reasonable budget.

Warning... apparently I've written a novel

This is regarding my teen daughter, but I'm not sure this is really strictly a "teen" topic. Clara has been in private school for years with a uniform and when not at school, she's usually in dance. She has a very limited "downtime" wardrobe, which has been okay until now. Now the social life has taken off and she needs more of an outside of school and dance wardrobe. I am so incredibly tired of being reactive vs. proactive with her clothing. Last night we were out until 10pm trying to find her a dress and shoes for her pin day ceremony today. Two months ago we were out the day before we left on our trip trying to find shorts. I'm over this. We end up shopping desperately at the last minute and making poor choices with what we buy... picking poor quality, cheap items so we can purchase the amount of items we need for that event. Those poor quality items don't hold up well and a couple months later we're back in the same boat again. Or... if we buy better quality items, we've bought them because "they'll do" versus being something she really liked and she doesn't wear them. A different kind of wasted money.

We're both not big shoppers and she doesn't have a lot of free time to shop. For me personally, a StitchFix subscription has worked really well. I now have a good base wardrobe so I don't panic when events come up and have found brands/styles that I love so I can order them on my own outside of SF. I went looking for a subscription services for teens and didn't really find anything. We decided to try Second Hands this month, which is a consignment subscription box. It came yesterday and it was a total bust. We had asked for dresses for her 8th grade graduation related events. We're sending them all back (which is why were out buying a dress last night)... two were the wrong size (she's a M, they sent a large and a small), a couple were really "used" (a tear in one, missing parts on another), and one was a Target brand (I don't have a problem with Target brand, but we go there a lot and can buy those brands on our own). We're going to give them another shot next month, but I'm not very hopeful. Our biggest win so far has been ThredUp. It's a consignment site, but you pick your own stuff. Clara picked two really cute dresses from there that are adorable on her and we only paid $26 for the two of them (including shipping). She requested a closet clean out bag from them and is hoping to get credit for some of her old clothes so she can shop some more.

So, how do you go about building a wardrobe from scratch... especially if you like to stay on trend versus classic, timeless pieces. Clara needs good quality base pieces that don't break the bank, and don't shrink up weird after they're washed. Where do you shop for these pieces? Any help would be greatly appreciated!!

 

[bestcee]

I'm not trendy at all anymore.
But when I was a teen, I was a little more trendy. What I did was buy a couple pairs of jeans, 2 pair of black pants, and a few skirts. The pants and skirts were the kind that look nice enough for a wedding/funeral, but also work for a date. Then I went trendy in my tops. Tops tend to be cheaper to replace more often, and I have a habit of staining shirts. All my tops worked with either the jeans or black pants. And pants tend to hold their style a little longer.

 

[tkradtke]

@bestcee That's a good plan. I wonder if Clara and I should set a monthly budget and go out for a short shopping trip each month vs. our frustrating marathon shopping train wrecks. I think the key basics we need to get are some shoes and pants/skirts... shirts are so much more fun to buy, plus, you're right, those are cheaper and can be where "trendy" comes in.

 

[enjoyyourpix]

I feel for you! Even though my daughter has a wardrobe and a half of clothes, there are always new dresses to buy or outfits needed for something or other. We had a train wreck just last weekend. I think we were both in tears by the end of the time shopping.

Suggestions ... scour the racks at Marshalls/Ross.

We've had luck picking up little dresses for promotion and banquets at Nordstroms, Francesca's (they have an online store as well as shops here), and a website called Lulus. It's based in Chico, CA and they have a decent return policy. I've ordered several times (and returned) with no issues.

She had great luck when she was a little younger (she's almost 17 now) with jeans and jean shorts from American Eagle. AE has different lengths of the shorts. Right now she wears a lot of athletic clothes (Lululemon, surprisingly some decent stuff from Forever 21, and Nike stuff we got from Macy's).

In our neck of the woods, the girls love Brandy Melville, Urban Outfitters, and Free People. Definitely overpriced, but it's what's "cool". We shop sales and grab look-a-like stuff.

Good luck!

**I have Nordstrom down here. It is a higher priced store. HOWEVER, cute dresses in the BP department are in the $40 range. And their customer service is great if you just need a break from the stress of shopping with your daughter.

 

[jesskab]

I love to shop! I've been upgrading my look lately. I don't let myself near Target or Walmart clothes anymore unless it's a cheap tank. I wear a tank under my clothes every day.
I have 4 pairs of the same brand jeans in different shades because they fit very well. I have a pair of denim shorts from the same brand. A suit or dress coordinates in black or grey are good to have. A top and/or scarf can change the look of the suit/set. 2 cardigan sweaters. 1 that matches the suit/set, 1 in a color she just loves & feels good in. 1 pair of black flats, 1 pair of patterned flats in a color she wears often. At least one skirt & two dresses. Any look can change with accessories. I have a huge collection of scarves & fabric flowers (for my cardigans).

Here's what I got recently to upgrade my business look:
1 navy blazer with matching pants
1 black blazer with matching pants & skirt
1 beige, black, & white blouse for under the black suit
1 orange blouse to wear under the navy suit
1 pair of navy capri pants with bright orange flowers that match above top & navy blazer
1 blouse with blues & black to go under either suit.
1 kelly green cotton a-line dress.
This weekend I got a pair of solid navy capris that perfectly match my blazer. They were on clearance at Macy's for $18!

 

[klee73010]

I shopped goodwill. The stores here offer 50% off every other Saturday. Especially if there's one in a "good area of town", you get name brands at great prices. You have to scour, and it's hit or miss. But that's pretty much the only way I shop.

I googled/Pinterest searched "capsule wardrobes" to get more of an idea of how to pair my clothes... Vivienne files, too. ("Cores of four" so to speak)

I work from home 90% of the time, and have very few clothes for leaving home that are work appropriate for my current size. From this research, I've planned almost my entire business trip wardrobe...and borrowing some stuff, since it would be impractical to buy this stuff for just one week. If I thought I'd be travelling more, or working more in the office, I'd probably go this "capsule wardrobe" route.

Oh the person that started it, had rules... like only buying things you love, things that work for more than one type of occasion... project 333 I think it was.

 

[~Mary]

Kohls. Shop the sales, use your Kohl's cash, sign up for the rewards plan and use those. Take some time and scour the clearance racks. It takes time but you can find some great deals. We do shop sales at Macy's and luckily have a great outlet mall near us but the majority of our great deals come from Kohls. They have an awesome teen section - many of their things I love but am nowhere near small enough to wear. Even if I just need a plain t-shirt, I can get a Kohl's tshirt on sale for $7 where a Target one would cost me $5 and wear out a lot sooner. If you find something you love and that fits well, go online and order different colors/patterns when they have a sale. I have a great pair of Lauren Conrad stretchy jeans from Kohl's that I got on sale half price and I've washed/worn them 50+ times over 2 year and they still look great. When you are starting out stick with black/white/khaki/or denim bottoms and get tops over time that go with those. Distinctive clothes (like trendy things) I save for special occasions b/c I don't wear them as many times. Luckily we move a lot so I can wear a lot of my church dresses for years without anyone seeing them twice. I'm not above Walmart/Target clothes but they do not last so they end up being around-the-house clothes. Good luck!

 

[Nemla]

Buy basic well fitting bottoms and fancy trendy tops. Like Cortney (bestcee) I think it makes life easier and fun that way.

 

[tkradtke]

I feel for you! Even though my daughter has a wardrobe and a half of clothes, there are always new dresses to buy or outfits needed for something or other. We had a train wreck just last weekend. I think we were both in tears by the end of the time shopping.

That's the sad part... there will ALWAYS be something! But I'm hoping to at least cut down the drama for every single time she has to leave the house in something other than a school uniform or dance wear. I think part of her problem is having always worn some type of uniform, she's having a hard time figuring out her style and even what's "in" as all of her friends are in uniforms too. Thanks for the suggestions! I never think to go to Nordstrom, it's just down Michigan Avenue a ways from where we usually shop, but since it's the only store we would shop at there, we almost never go down there (except for shoes). We had never shopped at Marshall's before for her since she's been in adult sizes until the other night. I was VERY pleasantly surprised by how well we did dress shopping there. She tried on 6 dresses, she found 1 she adored and three more that would have worked... we never do that well in a single store! And then the added bonus of none of the dresses being over $30!

I love to shop! I've been upgrading my look lately. I don't let myself near Target or Walmart clothes anymore unless it's a cheap tank. I wear a tank under my clothes every day.

Me too! It's become such a habit that I can't imagine not wearing a tank. Which ones are your favorites? I've been buying the Target ones for years now since they were on the only ones that I had found that were long. And thanks for the wardrobe suggestions!

I googled/Pinterest searched "capsule wardrobes" to get more of an idea of how to pair my clothes... Vivienne files, too. ("Cores of four" so to speak)

Okay... now I'm OBSESSED with capsule wardrobes!! These seem to be exactly the type of guide we were looking for! I showed one of the articles I found to Clara and her eyes lit up! We've never known where to start before and instead bought random pieces... now we can sit down and form a real plan. I figure summer is a wash, we'll just go with what we've got, but we'll work on this for fall. Thanks for this suggestion!

 

[tkradtke]

Kohls. Shop the sales, use your Kohl's cash, sign up for the rewards plan and use those. Take some time and scour the clearance racks. It takes time but you can find some great deals.

Thanks Mary! That's another place I don't think about going. It's not that far from us, but since it's kind of off by itself in a warehouse-y type area, it slips my mind.

Buy basic well fitting bottoms and fancy trendy tops. Like Cortney (bestcee) I think it makes life easier and fun that way.

Thanks Vivi! I agree!

 

[keepscrappin]

I feel for you! Even though my daughter has a wardrobe and a half of clothes, there are always new dresses to buy or outfits needed for something or other. We had a train wreck just last weekend. I think we were both in tears by the end of the time shopping.

This is me and both of my daughters. Why does it always end in tears? I don't have that problem shopping with my son. Guy clothes are easy. You pick your size and go. Women clothes have so many different styles/fits, that you have to take 3 different sizes into the dressing room to find the one that fits. And even then, it's a miracle to find something flattering at a reasonable cost. I guess it's the price we pay as women.... lol

 

[Lindzee]

I'm not trendy at all anymore.
But when I was a teen, I was a little more trendy. What I did was buy a couple pairs of jeans, 2 pair of black pants, and a few skirts. The pants and skirts were the kind that look nice enough for a wedding/funeral, but also work for a date. Then I went trendy in my tops. Tops tend to be cheaper to replace more often, and I have a habit of staining shirts. All my tops worked with either the jeans or black pants. And pants tend to hold their style a little longer.

This is a good idea, and basically how I shop even for myself now. I would add a couple of sweaters and maybe a blazer in neutral colors for cool evenings. I often also buy tops in white or neutral colors then accessorize with scarves and/or cheap costume jewelry to dress things up. A little bit of color in a couple of bangle bracelets, a necklace or a scarf can really step things for fancy.
I don't really buy expensive stuff except in the basic silhouettes I will wear for a long time. The styles change so fast (especially with younger folks) I, 1. don't really try to keep up, and two - get a knockoff or something similar but less expensive because I don't care if it lasts - it will be out of style anyway..

 

[fruitysuet]

I don't think you'll have much luck getting over the drama, best you can hope for is to minimise the effect it has on you!

I'm in the UK so can't speak of which shops to use. However, I think it has helped both my daughters in that the high school they went to didn't have uniform so they have been able to develop their own style over the years (youngest is 15) and gained the skill of what is appropriate to wear and when.

The 17 yo is very conscious of style and clothing. She has a part time job and 50% of the money she earns goes on clothing and make up. She has determined over time which stores are her best fit in terms of style and fit. She spends a LOT of time online checking out what's available in stores too and figuring out what she wants before actually going into town to buy.

She has created her own type of capsule wardrobe. It's helped by her preference for neutral colours anyway. She has black trousers and skinny jeans, olive trousers, white skinny jeans, denim skinny jeans (with and without rips/tears), a black/white houndstooth skirt and a black skirt. She has khaki skinny jeans on her wish list but the drama here is that her go to brands do not have them in their her favourite style or without rips.

Tops are usually plain grey, black, white, cream or the soft peachy/pink that is very popular now. She has a couple of button down skirts/blouses (she has to wear 'business style' for her business college course) and then a selection of pull on style tops which she buys as the fashion changes, eg turtle necks last season and bardot this season.

Keeping to these neutral colours and knowing which stores are her best fit keep her focussed when shopping. Also helps that I rarely shop for clothes with her. We just spent a couple of days in Liverpool and this reinforced the reason why! (eg drama when her 'ideal' khaki jeans were nowhere to be found).

I think the main problem you have with your dd is that she hasn't had the opportunity or need before now to find her preferences in terms of style and store. I'd suggest lots of online browsing and creating a pinterest board prior to any shopping trips then it's just a matter of finding out which stores most closely match what she prefers and which ones have the best fit for her body. Restricting colours of basics is a good tip and then adding splashes with tops and accessories will give her the best selection of outfits to choose from in the future.

But don't bet on what she wants to wear being laundered at the right time (cue more drama!)

 

[tkradtke]

I think the main problem you have with your dd is that she hasn't had the opportunity or need before now to find her preferences in terms of style and store.

I think this is totally it. She didn't start private school until 5th grade, prior to that she definitely had her own sense of style and put together really cute outfits. With a uniform during the day and dance almost every night, she began to lose her style, or at least her confidence with it. That was compounded by her also losing her wardrobe as she grew, since we weren't replacing stuff at the same rate. Now she basically just has a closet full of random pieces that may or may not go together.

I think the "capsule wardrobe" is going to be key for her finding her style again. It also helps set boundaries for me when shopping. I can help with building the base as my contribution, leaving her to fund some of the extra pieces with her babysitting money. With this more focused approach, we can hopefully start to identify styles and stores that she likes.

I know we'll never fully escape the wardrobe drama, but may be with this plan I can feel less guilt about the drama

 

[AnneofAlamo]

I have twin girls that are identical except for love of clothes! One is a shopper, crazy obsessed can spend 8 hours and come home with ONE pair of socks. The other will try about 4 things on that she loves and if I nix them she is done.
We are a very very conservative family, and don't do spaghetti straps, short shorts and being covered is my main stand. Both my girls are very curvy, and junior tops don't fit. But..........they discovered the men's section and get the most adorable shirts. (pink, pastels and more that they love). lol Winter is way easier for us.
Ross is our go to for dresses. Cheap, yep, and we make a point of picking up a dress each time we go.

 

[Sokee]

American Eagle is a great place! Most the 'girls' I know love to shop there. Marshall's or TJ Maxx We live near a Nordstrom's Rack, and my daughter will shop there a lot. Do you have any outlets malls near you?

 

[elseepe]

I have a pretty boring wardrobe, but I just signed up for the summer style Challenge at getyourprettyon and so far am loving having a "shopping list" to guide me.

 

[MrsPeel]

oh I feel for you too...not by experience... but I know how difficult it can be...
like Suzanne @fruitysuet I'm in the UK so can't really give you tips for stores, plus also in high school Sarita didn't have a uniform... so she started developing what she liked or not. We have been on a very low budget and (Thank God!!!) i was able to educate her bit to want to buy brands, she gladly accepted clothes my cousins gave us when we traveled to see the family, and is more than happy to this day to buy in charity shops (like Good Will for you? thrift shops?) with some exceptions , like when I bought her Hunters rain boots even though they were £80... because they do keep their feet dry even in snow... we have a shop here that is dead cheap and the quality isn't all that but we make stuff last, called Primark. She sometimes buys stuff from Top Shop or Gap, but usually only on sales....
what she doe3s do a lot is shop on Ebay.... we have gotten some really good deals on second hand clothes, but not sure how is it like on the other side of the pond....

I really hope she gets to be able to build something with minimum stress.... this age can be stressing for both mothers and daughters!!!!

 

[tkradtke]

Okay... I thought I would come back and update on our progress.

A few weeks ago she did a ruthless purge of her closet. All of the purged items have been piled in the spare bedroom. When she did the purge, we ordered a closet clean out bag from ThredUp. Yesterday while she was at Six Flags, I sorted everything into piles (ThredUp supposedly pays more for items in season) and quick washed the first pile just so everything was fresh. Today we dropped off her first bag of clothes to sell to them. Anxious to see what she'll get for the items. There are 29 items in the bag, even if she just gets $1 per item, that's about $30 to spend on the site which can go pretty far.

Today is Clara's first day since she's been out of school that she didn't have an activity (her school WAY overdoes 8th grade graduation), so we really sat down to talk about our plan. We printed out the free capsule wardrobe planner we found and filled it out. It really helped to work through some of the exercises in the planner. We picked her major (2 neutrals), minor and accent colors. Right after we finished, we magically got an email from ThredUp about a new sale and a 10% off coupon for her to use. So we spent a fun afternoon shopping online together... the only rules were that they had to fit within our plan AND no cheap brands. Our capsule we're planning is for fall, so we strayed a bit with a couple summer items to fill out her wardrobe now. We ended up spending $113 (including tax and shipping - which was free) for 11 items by brands like American Eagle, Hollister, Gap, Francesca's, Top Shop, etc. Almost everything we got was listed as "like new". I'm excited to get her order!

Since she lacks confidence in putting looks together, I'm seriously considering buying this app for her. Have you heard of or used the Stylebook App? Apparently you can take photos of your own clothes and then use the app to combine the items into "looks". It's $3.99 and could be a good way for her to gain confidence with putting her capsule wardrobe pieces together.

We have a ways to go, but I'm already seeing a sense of style emerging and real thought being put into the items that she chooses to buy. Going through the discarded items led to some really good discussion about how poor choices lead to a lot of waste. I don't think we'll be free of clothing drama, but I feel we're making some really good strides in reducing it!

 

[klee73010]

that app sounds fun! and if i were in a need to have more put together outfits more regularly, I think I'd go for it!