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Holidays with or without kids?

When the kids were small trips and vacations were generally built around tournaments or game exchanges. The few actual vacations we took like to Disney were also always family affairs. We never took a vacation alone until the kids were grown.
 
StarryEyedDesigns said:
Call me a bad parent, but my husband and I have had many trips, or overnights, without our kids.
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I don't think this makes you a bad parent at all. It sounds like you have given your kids a firm foundation, which has allowed them to flourish. That's what being a parent is about, IMO, regardless of how often you travel with or without the kids. :) It sounds like you guys are/were in a position not only to travel but to have people watch your kids. I wish we had that! My mom worked full-time until about 3 years ago, and then she was diagnosed with breast cancer about 15 months ago, so watching my kids while I went on vacation wasn't on her radar and I certainly don't blame her. DH used vacation time to stay home with the kids so that I could visit my mom after her lumpectomy. OH, so technically I have been away from my kids a few nights... but it certainly wasn't a "vacation" and DH wasn't there so I didn't think about it when I first replied to this thread.

And we were barely making ends meet until 2 years ago cuz DH was in grad school and then did post-doc work for 5 years; he's only had a "real" job lol for about 2 years. For us, we did little things around town or the state--thankfully our "town" was Houston for a long time, so there was lots of inexpensive things for the kids to do, as well as starting preschool at 3 for DD (we couldn't afford it at all when she was 2) and at 2 for DS. To me, being at school was a way for them to get used to saying Goodbye to me and to interact with different people without me being present, kind of like your reasoning for going on trips without them. Plus, I needed a 2-hour, twice-weekly break from them. *giggle*

It seems that for some people, and most certainly for me, the question isn't whether you travel with your kids but if you can travel at all: you can't travel with your kids unless you have the time and money, and you can't travel without them unless you have someone to watch the kids (plus the time/money thing lol).
 
I like both kinds of trips. Without kids, it's more of a vacation, relaxing and getting to see what *we* want to see. With kids, I get to expose them to new and exciting stuff. We don't get to travel as much as I want, but generally I'd like to keep doing both.

My ILs periodically take the kids for a weekend or whatever, and alone time at home is nice too, but I'd definitely travel more if I could.
 
About 13 years ago, I started hosting scrapbook weekends using our timeshare resort week. Me and the ladies used the weekend and then when they left on Sunday, my husband came up for the rest of the week. I stopped having the retreats 2 years ago, but my husband and I still spend a week by ourselves away every fall.

I have also gone to Europe twice with him - once as a tag-along on a work trip and once on a missions trip with our church. Then there have been assorted weekends away here and there.

And this weekend, I am going to the mountains all by myself to scrapbook with about 50 ladies. I am excited to spend almost 2 days and nights scrapping and eating chocolate covered strawberries.
 
Actually, that is one of my goals for this weekend - to scrap the pictures from our last get away without kids. It is certainly easier now that they are 25, 19, and 14.
 
Tree City said:
I don't think this makes you a bad parent at all. It sounds like you have given your kids a firm foundation, which has allowed them to flourish. That's what being a parent is about, IMO, regardless of how often you travel with or without the kids. :) It sounds like you guys are/were in a position not only to travel but to have people watch your kids. I wish we had that! My mom worked full-time until about 3 years ago, and then she was diagnosed with breast cancer about 15 months ago, so watching my kids while I went on vacation wasn't on her radar and I certainly don't blame her. DH used vacation time to stay home with the kids so that I could visit my mom after her lumpectomy. OH, so technically I have been away from my kids a few nights... but it certainly wasn't a "vacation" and DH wasn't there so I didn't think about it when I first replied to this thread.

And we were barely making ends meet until 2 years ago cuz DH was in grad school and then did post-doc work for 5 years; he's only had a "real" job lol for about 2 years.
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Thanks Sara...You have no idea how many times people have told us how selfish we are. As far as income. Hubby was already out of college and working when I met him, so it worked out..lol For having someone to watch them. The only time we've been able to do it is if they go to New England or we fly a family member out to us. We live 3000 miles away from both of our families. It's always been worth it though..lol

I'm very sorry to hear about your mom. How is she?
 
@StarryEyedDesigns I can't remember where I read it, but someone said that when you're on an airplane, you put your oxygen mask on first because you can't help others if you're passed out. The same principle applies to being a parent: you can't take care of your kids if you don't take care of yourself first. Taking care of yourself can mean different things for different people. It sounds like taking couple vacations works for you and your husband.

We have never lived closer than, like, 90 miles to my parents (I will never again let my ILs watch my kids so where they live is a moot point). And since they worked, they could have been next door but of no help childcare-wise for an extended time. Anyway, we have become so accustomed to NOT vacationing that it doesn't bother me anymore. But this thread has made me realize I'm still mad at my mom for a few things related to times I've needed her to watch the kids and she has let me down. So frankly, I forget that we have a little spending money and "Oh yeah, I could call up my mom and ask if she would watch the kids so I can go on a vacation with DH." (The thing is, now that we have the money, we're setting aside a little bit each month cuz we want to do a family vacation since we haven't done a proper one yet.) But I won't hijack this thread anymore than I already have lol. :) I will say that this thread inspired me to ask our babysitter if she was free anytime this weekend--literally day or night lol--so DH and I have a date planned! We still can't decide where to go lol but at least it's gonna happen! Heck, maybe we'll just go to the library and enjoy the quiet. :giggle

And thank you for asking about my mom! As far as her health, she's actually doing very well--not that we knew how she'd do when she first got diagnosed. She had radiation but didn't need chemo.
 
I havent read what you all have said, as I am rushing to make something to eat now...but I wouldn't want to go on a holiday without Sarita...it might have been different if her dad was well and we were stiol together,. but I have made all my holidays with her and ...honestly? I enjoy very much my time with her.......
 
We did one night for our anniversary in 2010-
Then in 2012 we did a 5 day trip to Hawaii (pure bliss!)-
And last summer we went to San Francisco for 3 nights.
Grandma (my mother-in-law) LOVES to take the kids. Unfortunately she lives 8 hours away and still works full-time, so it doesn't happen too often.
 
My husband and I haven't been on a trip without the kids in over 10 years. While we would like to at some point, just don't feel comfortable with them staying with someone for long without us.
 
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