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Holidays with or without kids?

KarenW

KarenW

Send in the Clowns
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Feb 24, 2012
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One of my close friends is currently spending a week in Japan with her husband. When discussing this with another friend, we were laughingly saying how jealous we were but couldn't begrudge them this time away esp as this was there first holiday without their two children (ages 13 and 10).

I then thought about how often my husband and I had been away without our kids and came up with a grand total of 6 nights over 24 years. This included the 2 nights from just last week where we camped for 1 night with friends and went to a concert in Sydney another night. All other holidays/nights away we take some combination of children with us.

My husbands parents went on two long overseas holidays in the 80's when he was a teenager, leaving him once with relatives and once with some family he didn't even know (he is still a bit peeved about this..)

Looking back I think we should have tried to have more us time when the kids were younger but now we just enjoy their company.

So - do you or did you take children with you or leave them at home with friends/relatives?
 
The Husband and I were also adding this up a couple of weeks ago (as we are about to have two nights away when I accompany him on a business related trip).

We realised we have only had 4 nights away in 22 years (two weekends, both times to attend weddings). o_O

We were living overseas and away from family for a lot of that time so had no-one to easily leave our eldest with. And after having the youngest (also on the spectrum) for two nights when she was four my mother never offered again LOL!:think

But since she was 7 we have been travelling a lot as a family and she is such fun to travel with I think if we went on a proper trip without her we would just spend the whole time wishing she was with us!

(My parents left me with neighbours when I was about 6 and I also have never forgotten LOL)
 
We took two trips when my son was a baby and he stayed with my mom and dad. It was kind of awful. They were business award trips and kids weren't allowed. Before the marriage failed, we took some great trips with the kids. We utilized nanny services in Hawaii, New York City, Tahoe, New Orleans, and even on a cruise. It was much easier to leave the toddlers in a hotel room for a couple hours than to leave them home. I'd usually leave the kids and sitter with dinner and they would play for a bit and then go to bed. Whenever we could, we would use the same ladies and we would never let them take the kids out of the room.
 
In the 30 years we have been married we have been away from home with out the children a total of 5 nights. One time when the children were younger and we went to stay in a bed and breakfast about an hour away and my sister came and watched the kids that was one night. The next time was when our oldest graduated from collage (which was 600 miles away) so we made a trip there for his graduation. We stayed in a hotel even though he still had the house he was renting just so we could turn it into a 'get a way' and the last time was again when he graduated from the police academy we spent one night in the local hotel for the same reason.
I was really hoping for an trip for our 30th here as we have never had one that was just a trip somewhere for us. But our daughter is moving 1300 miles away so we are saving the $$ and vacation time from work to go and see her this fall.
 
Man... i feel totally lucky right now. My kids are 4 and 3 this month. For the past year (approximately), we've gotten one night per month where my parents keep the kids overnight (give or take a month). In 2013, hubby and I spent one night in California without kids, and in 2014 it was 2 nights. This year, we are planning a trip to Portland that will be 4 nights.

Also, the day care we take our kids to offers sleepovers once a month, as a way for the teachers to earn extra money. (They did this about 6 months last year, and just started again for the summer.) April was the first month we allowed our kids to go, and only because my parents are in Ireland and unable to do their monthly thing this month! This service costs us $80 to have them stay overnight, so that is a bit much to do regularly.
 
Never really. I've never wanted to go on a vacation without my kids. They've been away from us on many sleepovers with friends (except only once or twice for my son, who's a homebody). But the only time I've been away from home and any of my kids was not with me was when I gave birth to my second daughter. My first daughter went to spend the night with her grandparents. (My son was born at home and my daughters stayed home too.) My husband and I have had a couple of nights alone when our kids went to stay with their friends. We haven't even been able to afford a vacation at all in 3 years, so our next one will definitely be with the kids. I can imagine just the two of us going on a short vacation in the next 5 or so years though. Our kids are 14, 12, and 9.
 
KarenW said:
So - do you or did you take children with you or leave them at home with friends/relatives?
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Neither: we haven't been on a proper vacation since before I was pregnant with our first child. We went to Mexico with my parents and brother and his then-girlfriend in 2006. So technically, that wasn't even a vacation for just the 2 of us rotfl. The one and only "just the 2 of us" vacays we've had was our 3-day honeymoon, which was about 1.5 hours from where we lived. But if my parents--the only 2 people I'd trust to watch my kids for an extended time--showed up on my doorstep today and said "Hey, we've got the kids, you guys go somewhere for a week," I'd pack a bag, kidnap DH from his work lol and go somewhere with him. Anywhere. Seriously, I'd take the first flight to whatever city looks good. :) (My parents live 100s of miles away and my dad still works. Mom didn't retire until a few years ago, and we were living 1,300 miles from them so still not practical to have her come though she did promise to watch the kids when we needed to move... but then she cried--I mean BAWLED--when I asked if she'd watch them 2 days/nights so we could house-hunt. She said "I can't travel around Houston by myself." Where the heck did she think she was going to go alone with them?! Just fly into the airport, get to my house via shuttle, and stay at home with the kids. Let them play in the yard and then feed them and put them to bed. What's so tough about that? Wow, I just realized how annoyed I still am about that since it meant my horrible ILs watched the kids...)

My parents went on vacations without us, like a few cruises and many one-night getaways. My mom made it very clear that her husband (my dad) was her number-one priority. A little bit of a mind-freak to hear as a young child, but as an adult I get where she was coming from (although she probably could have kept that info to herself). They always made time for each other. They both worked and my dad's hours were crazy, including working every other weekend--no exceptions. BUT, as a parent myself, my kids are my number-one priority in my life, way over my husband. But part of that is simply that DH is an adult: he can take care of himself. Our kids are young, and they need us. As we raise them, they'll need us less and less and we'll pull back, which will give us time for each other again. And now that we live somewhere that we have reliable babysitters around, we've gone on little 2-hour dates, and that's been nice. :) DH and I don't need a week away to connect. We just need to put the kids to bed and pop open a bottle of wine and play a few games of Boggle while we trash-talk each other lol.
 
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I don't want to go anywhere without my kids. Honestly, I probably enjoy their company more than hubby's. He can be a grouchy worrier, and he's always the last to wake up when we're all ready to go. I do enjoy a few hours to myself on Sundays when I do my shopping. Otherwise, I'm a big kid at heart & love going places with my kids. I'd love to do a trip of just amusement parks.
 
have more kids, and you will enjoy the pure bliss of eating and ordering a meal without having to decide for them...lol and then spend most of the conversation talking about them! lol
we try to go every few months for at least ONE overnight and dinner just us, and it really is revigorating, for us and them. The kids love it, Pizza delivery, late night playing hide and seek IN THE house! lol
But, my favorite ever get away, was 3 days, 2 nights being spoiled by my parents on the Beach in California. That was a time I want to repeat and may just go look at ticket prices for this summer!
 
They come everywhere with us. In February we went on a marriage retreat at Disney World with our church. It was the first and only 3 days we've spent away from them since our oldest was born over 8 years ago. Rarely do we even have date nights out. We are far from family and move often, so finding a sitter that we trust is hard. I would love to have more time with just my husband, but we make it work. And we have lots of "date nights in".
 
My husband and I have gone on three trips without the kids (15 and 14) where we've had to arrange for their care (DisneyWorld - came back to our daughter having RSV and in the hospital for a week, Paris for our 10th anniversary and Arizona last year for an event for my husband's work). BUT we had three summers where both kids were at camp for a month, a couple summers where they went to "Camp Grandma" for a week (we live away from family) and this summer, they'll both be on the Senior High mission trip at the same time in July. We usually just get away to our place in Michigan during those times. That way we're away, but my husband can still work, so we can use his days off with the kids.
 
tkradtke said:
BUT we had three summers where both kids were at camp for a month, a couple summers where they went to "Camp Grandma" for a week (we live away from family)
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See, that's what I want: time at home without the kids. We could get some stuff done around the house plus we can hang out without spending a ton of money. :yesss Maybe I'll talk to my parents about taking our kids for a week this summer, IF my brother, SIL, and their 2 young kids have moved out by then...
 
We went away once on a cruise for our 10 year wedding anniversary 5 nights away, and we usually have a night once or twice a year where my mom will watch the kids. Oh yah, and I went to Vegas for a digi-scrap convention with my hubby once, that was 3 nights away.
 
Tree City said:
See, that's what I want: time at home without the kids. We could get some stuff done around the house plus we can hang out without spending a ton of money. :yesss Maybe I'll talk to my parents about taking our kids for a week this summer, IF my brother, SIL, and their 2 young kids have moved out by then...
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Time alone at home is great! My husband and I were able to try new restaurants, grill out new stuff the kids weren't keen on and watch a bunch of movies/tv shows we had been wanting to watch. It was weird being at home without them at first (I had to stop myself from grabbing the hands of strangers when crossing streets or asking some random person if they had their fare card ready when boarding the bus), but you get used to it! :-)
 
AnneofAlamo said:
@KarenW thank you for this thread!! My hubby keeps telling me to go see a friend, go somewhere and just relax me time. I seriously went and just looked at tickets to go see my parents in July. Four glorious days booked. thank you for the extra push!
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you are more than welcome!!:bk
 
We have the odd weekend away without kids but we are also a blended family so every 2nd weekend we have no kids at home as they are at their other parents. Next week my kids are going with their dad on vacation for 8 nights so that will be nice at home just not having to worry about feeding everyone.
 
Call me a bad parent, but my husband and I have had many trips, or overnights, without our kids. I am a firm believer that parents HAVE to take time for themselves to be good parents and make their relationship work. I love my kids, but I don't think I'd be as calm or sane as I am (well sort of..lol) if I didn't have my "me time" or "our time." Our most recent vacation was in February. His parents flew out to WA to stay with the kids (12 and 15) and dog. We went to FL. My kids are going to New England for the summer, as they all have every summer since turning 4 years old. They spend half with my family, in MA and half with my husband's family in CT. The same day the kids leave for New England, I am going to Arizona to finally meet one of my very very good friends in person. We have known each other for years online, but haven't had the opportunity to meet in person yet. Hubby will stay home with the cats and dog, and enjoy a weekend to himself.

I also think having time away from the kids helps them. It helps them become independent, and in my opinion, keeps them from being clingy shy kids. My kids have never had a problem being away from home, or away from us. It doesn't mean they don't love us, and it doesn't mean my husband and I don't love them.
 
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