Help! My kid won't focus at school! I know there are a lot of teachers and parents-who've-been-there here ... My almost 9 year old (4th grade) is only 2 weeks into school and I already have to have a little meeting with his teacher. He's VERY smart, but he's getting "distracted" in class. He keeps blaming this person or that person, but we've talked to him about making choices and taking responsibility for himself. So my question is this ... what are some techniques or strategies that would help him stay focused and on-task? He's bringing home unfinished class work almost every day. And it's not that he doesn't know what he's doing - he brought home a paper today that he had only gotten 1/4 completed (math) and he was just saying it was too hard, but I read him the question out loud and he answered them and he finished the entire page in under 5 minutes. So he's more than capable. I'm kind of at a loss here.
My son is exactly the same way... 9 years old too. In the past we have removed privileges when he doesn't work on focusing, but really I don't have any solutions other that keeping after him and talking to him frequently about doing his best and what we expect from him. He's just a space cadet like his Daddy. The weirdest thing is that even if he's staring off into space while the teacher is talking and then you ask about what she said, he usually knows. It's just like he's bored or something.
He could be bored. My daughter was like that in Kindergarten. She started K in one school and mid year we moved and she had to switch... then it went down hill. She didn't want to go, she hated it, we literally had to pick her up and put her on the bus and until we were out of sight the bus driver had to have her sit in her seat. I tried to homeschool her that next year thinking maybe she had entered a bad school or something. 3 Weeks into and no help from her father to help me get this done (i was working and he wasn't), I had to put her back in school. They thought she would have to repeat K because of how much school she missed last year and the 3 weeks from this year. She ended up meeting with a woman a few days that first week, and at the end of the week, we were told that she is WELL into the 1st grade. She was given a Math Test WITHOUT being taught the lesson and ACED that puppy. That's when DH and I realized that the last school she was at, was pretty advanced and when we moved and brought her to this school she was bored and on top of not knowing anyone and not enjoying the challenge of the school work... all ended with her NOT wanting to go to school. So really I think he may very well could be bored. Maybe try an incentive chart - for completed work? If he is pretty smart and gets good grades on those completed work then you may know that was the problem. I would make the incentive chart reward something significant maybe, because school work is SOOOO important! Maybe you can use the completed work chart WITH the midterm progress report in some way? Good luck. My son isn't in school yet.. but it was hard up until last year to even get my daughter to GO to school... now she's starting the 3rd grade AND SUPER excited!
Mysty would do the same in class (she'll be 9 in a few days) I removed privileges if she didn't want to work and was bored all the time (she would daydream in class) now if she gets a certain amount of A's in class in a row she would get a special something extra for her hard work so she is trying extra hard.
Thanks What I really need are strategies for him to use during class. He already knows that he will get privileges taken away if this continues, but there has to be some sort of coping techniques that he can use when he's getting off task! I'm just having a hard time finding info online that doesn't have to do with kids with ADHD (he's nowhere near that).
I agree with bored. He's not engaged in the work. Could be she's not the right teacher for him. Not that she's bad, just some kids / teachers work better together than others.
agree. i wish i knew what strategies could be used... but i too would be at a loss with this as my kids don't have ADD or ADHD either. maybe tutoring instead of changing teachers? is it specific subjects that he's not focusing in? or is it school in general?
Karah...how are things at school with all the budget cuts? I've talked to parents down here and already...just a week into school and many are noticing a lot of problems. There are like 10 more kids in every class than last year...A customer who was just volunteering one day, ended spending the entire day there teaching them dance and music (she had taught before and the principal basically begged her). I'm just wondering if the larger class sizes are having some impact on his ability to stay focused. That's a lot of distractions!
Are you absolutely sure his vision and visual processing are ok? The only reason I'm saying it is because you mentioned that when you read the question aloud he was able to produce the answers easily. Lots of work at his age requires the ability to process visual cues efficiently and sometimes when a child struggles with that, it appears as if it's an attention issue. Do you and/or his teacher notice a pattern of when he is able to focus well or not? Is he able to focus when verbal directions are given but break down when he's doing written work? How's his focus when he's listening to a story read aloud to him vs. when he's reading to himself? Just a thought. An Occupational Therapist would be able to assess these skills further, if needed. Either way, good luck!
That's a tough one. Sorry you're going through it. I would hope that since you're only 2 weeks into the school year that maybe it'll work itself out, because there are are a lot of factors that could contribute to being distracted in the early weeks - like being around all your classmates after a long summer and wanting to chat and goof off with them again, or falling back into the routine of school, getting used to a new teacher, maybe even just the kids he happened to seated next to - which could remedy itself next time she redoes the seating chart, you know? But I know I just become a nervous wreck as soon as I have to have a meeting with a teacher, it's like I'd do just about anything to not have to have a parent/teacher sit down again. Makes me feel like a kid being sent to the principal's office all over again. I just tend to think that after he gets back into the grind of school again he'll get back on track. I know last year was a struggle with Nicholas (11yo - 5th grade) because he wound up with a teacher who was just really into busywork - and he's not a busywork sort of kid. It's the hand he was dealt, and it seemed like every conversation I had with his teacher came around to the same thing - he wasn't completing all of his work, he was only doing the bare minimum, and my PERSONAL favorite, he was just writing in sarcastic, tongue-in-cheek type answers to some things. But then in other classes where it was less busywork and more rigorous work he always had everything turned in and went above and beyond. He just never felt any sort of urgency to filling out the recurring, monotonous things - like reading logs. He was like "I can read, you know I can read, you see me reading .. why do I need to write a sentence explaining something that I read every day?" But that was part of his grade, was turning in those types of forms at the end of every week. So ... last year was a year of a lot of tension for us. I thought 5th grade was going to kill me. Or him.
Has he been tested for giftedness? Is that a possibility? I ask because you mention that he is 'VERY smart' and 'more than capable.' Sounds like he is checked out because he is bored.
A lot of gifted kids have symptoms that look like ADHD. In fact, a lot of gifted kids HAVE ADHD, my 9 year old is in the gifted program at school but has ADD. Just don't be frustrated with him, it may not be something he can control even if he tries.
He is already in the GATE program at school. And he doesn't have ADHD tendencies at all. That's not even a remote concern here. And yes, now that you all mention it, I'm sure he's bored ... the trouble is happening during math, and they are doing very monotonous, repetitive work right now. Today was his first day back at school since I posted and he said he worked hard on focusing and got all of his classwork done so that's good! We'll see how the rest of the week goes...
Are there any more challenging math programs at his school that he could try? Many schools have small programs to help those that are far ahead and get bored.
Karah, Isaac went through this last year in class. He wouldn't listen, and would talk and be disruptive while the teacher was teaching. When I asked him about it, he said very simply, "She's teaching stuff I already understand." For him it was really a matter of, his brain could already run through to the end of what she was going to say before she said it, so he opted out of listening. Maybe suggest to him that he get out a loose piece of paper and draw or write or something? At least he would be being quiet and not be disrupting others. And encourage him that it's only the beginning of the year, and they will soon be getting to more challenging things that will be more engaging for him.
I grew up with ADHD and I still struggle with it. I've taken and still take medication for it (off and on during my life). Not the best long term approach obviously but it focusing and attention problems require life-changing behavior modifications that certainly take time. Medication could be a temporary solution, especially if its at school as the medication wears off at the end of the day.
