What's new

Big Changes . . . how do you handle them?

Tree City said:
@gonewiththewind The Office is a funny show! I've only seen the British version but the US version is on my Watch list. Have you seen My Name is Earl? It has like 4 seasons and it cracked me up. Sorry, I said movie but now I'm thinking about shows. Have you seen Arrested Development? That is ridiculous and I love it! Oh, and 30 Rock. Binge watching a show gives you a lot more bang for your bingeing buck!

But my go-to pick-me-up funny movie is Zoolander. :) IDK why, but it always cracks me up.
Click to expand...

You definitely need to watch the US version. So many one liners.

I've seen My Name Is Earl and I love love love it. So hilarious. Also started Arrested Development and then stopped. I'll have to try it again. Same with 30 Rock. Thanks for the suggestions! I need to add them back into my list!
 
bcgal00 said:
As I get older I am becoming more settled, I like a routine, I don't like or want big changes (unless it's something super exciting like winning the lottery) so if big changes come now I get anxious, feel overwhelmed. I have to keep busy, turn my mind off, and give myself time to mentally absorb the change in my mind and then figure out how to deal with it. My last big change was a few yrs ago when my job of 20 yrs ended and I had to set up my sole proprietor home business. I was able to keep one of my old bosses as a client and then last yr took on a contract with another client so I've managed to get thru the change (although with less money which sucks) but I had lots of moments of lurching heart, catching my breath, feeling anxious....like a mini panic attack. I started deep breathing exercises/relaxation techniques and focusing on quieting my brain which has really helped.
Click to expand...

I need to do breathing exercises in addition to my prayer and meditation!
 
bbymks5 said:
We're the same way with food....celebrate, grieve, happy, sad, mad, glad...eat all the food!
Click to expand...

Glad we're not alone! LOL

djp332 said:
It's sad. My BFF moved away from me back in 1997. I still miss her terribly. We see each other maybe once a year. In the last year, we were lucky and saw each other 3 times, including a whole 5 days at once. It was heavenly. We never miss a beat when we are finally together.

Whatever you do, do not lose touch with Danyale. Strong friendships never die. Call, facetime, skype, text - there are so many ways to stay in touch today.
Click to expand...

I definitely won't! We love our Google Hangout sessions!

LeeAndra said:
I park in the same aisle at the grocery store & sit in the same aisle at church (yes, every single time) so yeah, you could say that I don't like change. :giggle

I am a recovering emotional eater and am on the other side of my first round of Whole30. One of the biggest challenges of the experience was having to feel my feelings vs. eat my feelings. Today is the beginning of AF + I'm disappointed from yet another job rejection so I was very tempted to run to the store (because I need to buy dish soap & garbage bags, anyways) and buy a pint of ice cream.

Instead, I stayed home & watched Youtube videos that I knew would make me cry until I got that emotional release and I felt more rational. I will go to the store tomorrow with both kids when I will definitely not be buying ice cream since then I'd have to buy the kind they like + hear them whine abt it the rest of the week. :cornfused

I take it one step at a time until I feel ready to take another step. *hugs*
Click to expand...

I love YouTube. It's my guilty pleasure. I watch all kinds of stuff on there - but I love my speed cleaning videos and scrapping process videos and do it yourself vidz.

enjoyyourpix said:
not well at all! DD leaves next week and when DS leaves for school in September, it will be the first time in my life FOREVER that I've lived alone. I'm trying to stay super busy! :(
Click to expand...

Oh my word! I know this is super hard, but you are so strong and I know you can do this, too! You inspire me!
 
Awww I love that photo of the two of you. I know there's sadness in it, but you can also feel the love in it. We live in such a wonderful time for being able to keep in touch with each other and almost feel like we are so much closer than we actually are. But I know what you mean about just knowing someone is close if you need them. Change has never bothered me much, I actually love it 99.9% of the time, but it is still an adjustment. I tend to do what you said. I give myself a day or so of nothingness...just quiet me time.

It's funny, I'm so excited for @Danyale and her adventures, but as I was looking at her leaving photos yesterday, I got a little sad, too. We've never met in person but I've know her so long and she knows I love the beach areas. I have told her repeatedly that one of these days I was going to show up on her doorstep. So, I did think about the fact that I can't do that now, at least for a little while. Maybe I'll just have to show up on yours :giggle

Hugs to you!!
 
Awww... you guys are adorable! Hugs and more hugs! I know that the actual move is hard, but once she is safe, settled and ready to take a breather, she will need you more than ever! It will be back to your normal soon! It's scary to have close friends move away... even knowing it might be temporary! I think treating yourself is a wonderful way to try to get through your feelings!

I tend to turn inwards. I need to recuperate myself before I can deal with the outside world. I need to sort myself out, feelings, thoughts, actions before I can move forward. I have to gain the "power" back and that will help me move forward and continue to be me.
 
Well I really don't like change so I usually get freaked out for the first bit and then I realize after a few days that I can in fact cope with change like a grown up. humph! :) But, if I were you, I'd focus on the fact that you have a bestie in Italy and I'd start thinking ahead to when you can go visit her! :D

And... I'd be thanking God for Google Hangouts and the fact that you're going to be able to talk to her and experience this awesome adventure with her! :)
 
It is so very hard. I sometimes cry but like you I read a book and do things to get my mind off of things. It will be okay and you have to think forward of the adventures you will have upon each visit. 4 years does go by fast :)
 
Tree City said:
Did you know the word "nostalgia" comes from Greek words meaning "return home" and "pain"? I just learned that, and it seems quite apropos.
Click to expand...
I love this.

@gonewiththewind, I can empathize. I'm not a big change girl: I live in the same hometown in which I grew up and attend the same church, and I've had the same job for the last 17 years...Of course you will miss her. Can you start planning an Italian adventure together? If your best friend is living there, you've got a ready-made excuse to travel there! (Not that you need one!) Hugs.
 
It's so much harder when you're the one who's been left. When my son and family moved last July with only a few weeks notice (to me), I didn't realize how depressed I got till the fall. It was still hard and when I lose my appetite, I know I'm not ok. Serious chocolate time which does make sense as we need the sweetness of life again. I had a hard time breathing which energetically is pure sadness and grief. Understanding intellectually helped but so did time. It's still not easy but I've now seen how much they needed to change their lives. Those of us left were the collateral damage. People have to grow... so take all the good suggestions everyone has given. Lots of comedy shows! Laughing sure does heal the soul and heart. xoxoxo
 
I crawl away and be on my own. Eat chocolate, maybe cry and listen to music. Having said that, I am VERY adaptable and I don't suffer for long. Growing up my dad was in the Air Force, so we moved every couple of years. Which meant saying goodbye to dear friends and familiar surroundings. I hated it at the time, but it does mean I can cope with change fairly easily as an adult :) But I have to concede that saying goodbye to a close friend is hard.
 
You ladies, I really love how sweet you all are ♥ It was very difficult to leave, for so many reasons, and embracing change has taken on a whole new meaning. I love you Shurl!


Our trip so far - after the 30+ hr flight, no sleep for about 4 days internet after 5 (sketchy right now), more pizza/past/gelato I could ever eat, walking up hills both ways in some places, 3rd floor apartment stair walking, 100+ degree weather, bureaucracy, our first "festival", knowing about 50 words in Italian, the entire country being on "holiday" or taking a "Danza Day" basically for the entire month of August - its been....
sad, overwhelming, amazing, funny, heartbreaking, frustrating, beautiful, challenging, - and many many more words I can't even type - which is happening via a laptop on top of the stove, which is the only 110 plug in this part of our apartment - waiting on converters - which we should get ..... wait for it. ........ after the "holidays". bwhahahahahaha!

I have a few photos of the village we live in - Motta St Anastasia - that is Mt Etna in the back ground, and it looks closer than it is.

e4dbae8073702876f88f3a7f4eb3f02a--sicily-santa-anastasia.jpg


We drove down this street our second day driving, going back to our apartment from our 1st authentic meal and gelato - WOW. YIKES!!

38afa959ea1986f3979a58f3d46abe4a.jpg


The temp housing apartment we are in right now (for security reasons we will stay in secure quarters for the first 60-90 days - we are stationed on a NATO base)

22391749.jpg

22391885.jpg


I have ton more photos, just no way to get them to upload and save properly currently. Hope to talk/see you soon @gonewiththewind!

xxoo
 
oooo.... I love seeing what you are encountering, hearing your thoughts and I wish only good things for you! Beautiful! Hoping all is going well, and you get used to everything! Hugs!
 
I've had so many big changes lately that it's been quite overwhelming. Exciting and fun and good, yes, but also overwhelming. I find myself withdrawing a bit and doing some of the things you are to console myself. I definitely find myself being quieter as I try to process it all.
 
Wow @Danyale ! Those pictures looks amazing! What a crazy wonderful adventure you're on! Thanks for sharing with us! I hope that you get all of your things soon and get settled in soon too. I'm sure it's a crazy feeling to have everything new and different and know that it's not just a week long vacation, but your new reality!
 
i've opened this thread a few times and hoped to provide some words of wisdom and comfort but ya know in the spirit of honesty, i got nothing, i'm really not good at change and dont handle it well so sympathy/empathy is the best i've got for ya, Cheryl
 
Back
Top