I am very humbled by how loving and kind you all are. Posting that was the hardest thing, I can't even tell you how many times I typed and deleted. Just telling you guys was a big step for me.. the hardest first step I have ever taken. And it felt good to write it all down. I'm struggling day by day. But I made another big step which is taking all my willpower, and that it the decision to drink only water. It's been hard. As silly as that sounds. But I'm doing it. Every where I go I have ordered water, at home i am drinking it only. I guess it's a start. I bought a gym membership, but haven't went in yet. I plan to do that for the first time Monday afternoon. So i guess that will be my second step. ANyway, thank you so much. I am really glad to have you and the other ladies here. It means everything to me.