Guys I need a big hug! For realz. I sat down to talk to my 9-yr-old last night about something totally unrelated (at least I thought), and it ended up that the thing that is bugging his is that he feels like he doesn't know people here, like he doesn't really have friends, he doesn't belong. He hugged me and burried his head and cried... he misses Michigan, misses his friends, his school, his coaches, and on and on. He said, sometimes I just wish we could go back to how things used to be. I miss it. But I guess it will get better here if I just wait. I hope it get's better soon. Uggh! He 'bout killed me. I just cried... especially at the thought of potentially having to move the kids again in the next year or two. I DON'T want to have to put him through this again... I"m worried that at some point he will just shut down and stop making friends so he doesn't have to lose them. This sucks. Please send hugs for me and prayers for him. I wish I knew what to do.
Oh Rebecca! Sending you and your little man a big hug!! Moving sucks sometimes, I can relate. We just moved 2 months ago and we don't know almost anybody here (just one family we knew from ON which moved here before us). Luckily our kids are only 4 and 6 so they haven't made strong friendships yet.
oh no that is sad. And all the things that you want to say to help him make friends and make him love being there, are just going to make it hard again if you move in the future. Huge hugs for you and him. All I can suggest is to help him be stronger within himself and love himself. Help him to cope and adapt.
I'm so sorry Rebecca. Poor guy! Wish I had some advice. Just love him, as you do, if he has your love he will be okay in the end.
As someone who moved at the age of 13 to the other side of Australia to live with her mum, I just want to let you know that adapting is hard. But I was ok. After a year of being here I decided to stay (it was only gonna be a temporary thing) based on the friendships I'd already made. It's fun to have friends all over the country you can talk to and visit, he might love it when he's older! I'm 19 now and it's great to have places to stay and chill And you never get sick of your friends, as in the time you spend with them is dearer because it's a little rare. I'm sorry you're both hurting.. but it sounds like he has one heck of a mum to love him and help him through this
Oh that is tough. I feel for you and him. We just moved as well and it has been hard for all of us to meet people. Although, now that my little guy has started school he has lots, but he is only 5 so his definition of friends is someone that plays with him on the playground. I also moved around a lot as a child and it is tough, but you get through it and adapt. It is still early in the school year so I am sure in another couple weeks he will have a friend or two and feel much better. On the up side, it is great that he shared that with you and was able to talk through his feelings. He probably feels better already. Sometimes it helps just to have a good cry.
So sorry Rebecca . I can relate to this as well. We moved a month ago and although my kids are really young (2 and 4) my son still tells me he misses his old friends and it breaks my heart. Especially because being military I know that moving often is going to be our way of life until his dad retires. It's scary and sad, but i agree with what the others have said. Kids adjust. It just takes time. It's so great that he was able to talk to you about it though. Hugs to you both!
Awww....bless your heart sweetie. I know moving can be so tough on kidos. I hope it all gets better soon! Very soon!
We went through the same thing when my daughter was 10. As everyone said, it IS hard but kids are also amazingly adaptable. You did the right thing by listening giving comfort - sometimes they just need to vent about it too! Building those friendships was the key for my DD. We did lots of playdates that first year, as well as some team activities. If you can swing it, think about having a little harvest or halloween party for your son's classmates. Getting together outside of school for something fun is a huge boost. I hope those ideas help. I really feel for you - it's so hard on a a mom's heart!
Hugs Rebecca... I know the feeling. My oldest has had a hard time wanting to make friends. Being Military we've moved around a bit and she really had a hard time with it. It's sad... she still wants to go back to her "home" but none of her friends would still be there... they've all moved onto other bases too. Thanks goodness there's internet now... she has e-pen-pals with several of her friends she's made over the years.
Oh dear.. Talk about heart wrenching, huh? I would say that the first thing that is so amazing is that he was able to talk to you about it. You're lucky that he feels comfortable enough with you to do that and as Lisa said sometimes a good cry is just the ticket. I too switched schools when i was 9 and it was hard for the first few weeks, but then i made new friends and by the end of the year I had forgotten all about the old school and had moved on. He'll probably get over the heart ache sooner than you will. Huge hugs to you and prayers for new friends and happiness to all of you soon.
awwwww I'm so sorry. That is SO hard. We think our kids are a lot tougher than they really are. We only moved 10 miles north. And my kids had A LOT harder time with that move than I expected. Heck, I DID TOO! It took my kids a year to adjust. It was a long year. But we are all happier in the end. Just give the guy loves. a lot. And here's hoping he adjusts quickly.
you guys are so awesome! i luvz ya! it's so great to hear from people who have been through this... thank you!!
Aw, poor little guy. And poor mom. It's so tough to move and have to start from scratch. We only moved schools last year (from out of town to in-town), and it was tough. I think in some ways tougher for me, because I was the one who noticed that he didn't get any playdate or birthday invites, despite coming home and telling us all about his best friends. We threw a big party for his half birthday in June, and made it a memorable one (a star wars theme party complete with jedi tunics and light sabers), and I'm hoping that might have broken the ice for him to be invited to spend time after school with some of the the other kids.
