Household Chores Pad Patter 8.16

I do the inside...hubby does the outside, yet we can help each other if necessary.. (growing up I mowed my share of lawns!) Dishwashing never bothers me, nor laundry.. to me the worst chore is the bathroom.. I hate cleaning the toilet too.. LOL I have three of them in the house too! Oh well .. I am just glad I have the house to live in and do the chores... it really beats the alternative.

 

I will preface this by saying that for 20 years of my adult life I had servants to do it all - the perk of overseas living. Plus when dh and I married, we (I!) soon found that there were too many arguments about household chores. I had done it all for 15 years and the only thing I really hated was emptying the dishwasher. I have no idea why. So after a couple of years, we hired cleaners to come every other week. That keeps our house cleaner than he'd ever care about and almost as clean as I'd like! We agreed when we married that I would cook - because I like to and he's too old to learn - and he'd clean up the kitchen. However, after 17 years, if a dirty pot or dish isn't right by the dishwasher when he 'cleans up' he never sees it and will start the dw with me saying...wait! there's more!

The one chore I'm getting tired of is groceries. Deciding what to buy, carrying the bags to the car, unloading the car and putting the dang stuff away. I have to call or text him on my way home to let him know to come unload the car and I still need to check that all the bags are brought in OR bags of things to go to the charity shops are NOT brought in. Toilets? well a squirt or two of cleaner, a bit of a wait and a swish round pretty much takes care of it about twice a week. I don't always clean under the toilet seat because I don't have to see what's been sprayed there. But we do have spray bottles of alcohol in each bath and if I'm feeling charitable, I will clean under the seat. Do any adult men know how to pee without marking their territory???

Oh I do like ironing but now it's just too hot to think about. Thus I have a bunch of summer blouses waiting for fall to be ironed! LOL

 

I think my least favorite chore is probably floors. I was going to say dishes, but they're not so bad now that there is only 3 of us instead of 5. I don't own a dishwasher, never really have. I had a portable one once, but it was more trouble than it was worth. I also don't particularly like putting away laundry. I don't mind doing it, or drying it, or even folding it, but I don't like putting it away. I always do, though, because I hate not being able to find things even more lol. I do most of the chores, especially in the summer because I'm here all day and the most productive in the morning. And DH works on Saturday which is chore day during the school year. I will also say that I tend to be a little "particular" about certain things and how they are done, so I would just rather do them myself. However, if there is outside work to be done like mowing or weeding or whatever, I will be outside doing that because I love it, and DH will be washing dishes or changing out the laundry

@cfile Christa's comment about being glad to have a house reminds me of one time I was particularly tired and didn't really want to push mow our entire 1/2 acre of hillside, but about halfway through it just hit me...I have a yard to mow and I have the ability to do it, that's what matters most.

No.

 

me too Desi.. I need to remember my own words.. I start off by pouring clorox in them!

 

I'm typing this as our cleaning lady is upstairs and I should be tidying up the kitchen before she gets down here.

My husband and I split chores for the most part BUT... he travels probably 75% of the time (or so it seems... just got back from a 13 day trip on Monday night and left again this morning) so it all falls to me a lot of the time regardless of our arrangement. Which is why we have a cleaning lady who comes every other week. I'm not a fan of doing dishes, so when he's home, I cook, he cleans up after. That's probably what I miss the most when he's gone

 

I am definitely NOT a clean freak and I'm totally okay with that. I do assign chores to my boys who stay home all day long and need something to do other than watch TV and play on their computers. So they help quite a lot. I am in charge of keeping the kitchen clean because nobody else does it to my satisfaction. Hubby does the laundry and I cook all the meals... except when I assign that to one of my boys. Their menus are limited but it still helps so much when I'm running all over creation and don't get home until well past dinnertime.

 

This is such a sore subject for me.

I've been back at work now for 9 months & I still do all the household chores + 90% of childcare + all the scheduling & transportation coordination + all food planning, purchasing, & preparing.

For some reason, he thinks that going to work for the day is all that he needs to do to support our household. When he comes home from work, he eats dinner (that I made) and then hangs around/with the kids while I clean up (no dishwasher), pack lunches, help with homework, pick out clothes, get showers done, etc.

Granted I "only" work 30 hours/week which means that my Mondays off are running all the errands/doctor's appointments I don't have time for the rest of the week when I am working. The rest of the week I'm getting myself + both kids ready, dropping both off at school/daycare/my parents' depending on the day of the week, going to work, and then doing the reverse on the way home. I'm in the car 1 1/2-2 hours each workday between all the pickups and dropoffs for everyone... and then getting home to do everything I listed above!

The kids will be in a rec soccer league this fall (that my parents paid for), and he's already said he's not willing to do any pick-ups or drop-offs because the field is 30 minutes away and he doesn't want to drive that far after working all day.



If I 'assign' him a specific task for a specific day and then remind him 2-3x in the days beforehand, he will do it but no more. When I have meetings at night for work, he is at the house with the kids but he is not running errands, picking up the house, or anything else that i would do if I was there.

I guess he doesn't think about it? Doesn't want to do it? Doesn't care?

I have asked him if he would please do the laundry (which I often forget about because the machines are in the basement and I don't hear them when I'm upstairs cleaning or taking care of the kids) but he is too tired/doesn't want to/forgets/is gone for the weekend to see his son. He has done the laundry a handful of times in the last 9 months. He does his own, though, of course because he wants it done a certain way... and is happy to take the kids' clothes out of the dryer, dumps them on the floor, and then puts his own in to dry.

It's maddening.

 

My husband is a huge help and always has been. I do things like starting the laundry but then forgetting about it and he finishes it. He does most of the dishes and does all of the cleaning of the floors, windows, and so much more! AND he also does all of the outside and car maintenance. Meanwhile, I'm at my computer "working"!

 

My DH is a stay at home dad (has been for 14 years!). He's patient and is great with the kids, doing school activities, and all of the outdoor stuff around the house. He also does all of the laundry and theoretically does the kitchen. He's still a "dude" - he acts surprised every dang day when the kids say they're hungry at 5pm and he has no plans for dinner (that's my huge sore spot). he's fine eating leftovers or frozen pizza but I want him to cook 2-3 meals/week and have a plan. we constantly negotiate on that.

But for general picking-up, floors, etc - he never does that. So I usually vacuum Saturday mornings (and sweep up high traffic areas during the week occasionally). And we make the whole family do 45 mins of picking up on Saturday mornings as well. I put all the tasks down on post-it notes and we go one at a time and let everyone pick them until they're all gone. It is amazing how much that cut down on the complaining about helping with chores!

 

I really hate cleaning the bathrooms.

As far as help, my hubby will do anything and everything. He does all the outside work, mowing, weeding, landscaping, etc. Even before my back pain spiraled out of control, we shared tasks. When I worked outside the home, he was more than likely the one to cook dinner because I came home later, and he did over 50% of the laundry, plus other tasks.

Now, he permanently does the vacuuming and mopping, as well as the tubs/showers. I will still clean the sinks, counters, mirrors, and toilets (he does around the bottoms of the toilets). I do all the dusting (I should say, I procrastinate about doing the dusting). I cook most all the time and he will help with clean up some of the time. We have a dishwasher and use it constantly. I do ALL of the laundry and have since I've been home. In fact, when I had back surgery, he had to do laundry and he was laughing, saying that he had forgotten how to fold clothes. LOL Olivia is home at least for this fall and does quite a few tasks, including helping with the laundry, cooking, cleaning up the kitchen, cleaning the guest bath, etc.

We've talked about having someone come in to clean, but I'm really super picky and have certain ways I like things to be done. I have had someone come in one time and I was not pleased enough to call her back again. And plus, it feels weird to have someone else in the house. Is it just me?

 

My husband and I started out sharing chores quite equally. But after we had kids he was working and I became a stay at home mom (and still am!) so I've taken on more of the housework, reasonably so. But I'm more relaxed about what tidy means so he will take care of things sometimes. The only chore I really dislike is cleaning bathrooms.

 

no way, that's not cool. he sounds a bit selfish - I can't believe he would leave kids clothes on the floor and put his own in???

Have you tried talking about it? Maybe prepare your thoughts, share how you feel in a calm way when you aren't upset or angry, and give him time to digest and think on that and then come back with a response. I'm a very good verbal communicator, quick on my toes, etc, but my husband isn't (he really likes to think about stuff and formulate a response). We find that communicating in a non-confrontational way works best for us.

 

We share in many ways, but I do most of the inside work. I've never mowed the lawn a day in my life, though! Lol!

My husband also cooks, and is amazing at it...which is awesome because I don't really like to do it. And our house is so tiny that if we tag team it, we can clean it fully in about an hour. (Not a deep clean, but a really good surface clean).

The only thing I really despise doing is putting dishes away out of the dishwasher, so he tries to do it in the morning before he goes to work. I've got the best hubby!

 

girrrrl....I would GLADLY pay someone to do all the cleaning in our house. If DH and I didn't have to argue about that, I would do it and be so, so happy!!

 

Not just you. I'd never want to hire someone to clean my house, no matter how much I could afford it. (It's not even a possibility right now.) I don't want anyone going through my stuff. I'm an introvert who find cleaners coming over to be an intrusion. And it just feels weird. I've always been of the mind that we take care of our own space. That's how I've brought up my kids. I leave their rooms up to them and just ask them to clean up after themselves in our shared spaces.

However, on the topic of hired help, there is one helper I wouldn't mind. I don't mind cooking but I don't love it, and it has become a chore while raising three children with particular tastes and food allergies. It is such a treat to me whenever I buy pre-made food or eat out. So if I could hire a cook, I might enjoy that. Maybe not daily -- I love leftovers -- and I'd want them to do the planning and shopping and be educated about healthy eating and be able to prepare tasty healthy dishes everyone in the family likes. Ha ha! Well, I was fantasizing . . .

 

My husband traveled a lot and often for many years, so being a SAHM, I took it upon myself to do the chunk of the housework. Back then, like Christa @cfile - he did all the outside work, but we helped each other.

Since he retired a few years ago, he started doing most of the cooking and he's a great help with the housework. We have housekeepers twice a month, which really helps us keep a handle on the deep cleaning. She and her husband (they're a cleaning team) do the heavy stuff - he's also a handyman, so anything we need done, like things that involve climbing on ladders, he does for us.

We pretty much just do something (chore-wise) if we see that it needs to be done. I do the outside work now. All we have to do is keep the lanai and pool pavers clean - which I enjoy doing. The pavers are in bad need of deep cleaning after a summer of daily rain and deposits of heavy mold - ugh. All of our other yard work is done by the association. LOVE that!

 

I do anything and everything related to laundry. (I just picked up Borax, Carbona Color Grabber, and bleach this morning lol!). Actually, I do basically every indoor chore except washing floors. DH is a messy cook, so I said that washing floors is his chore (as is hand-washing pots/pans/whatever he uses in the kitchen--though I do load/unload the dishwasher). He used to sweep before washing, but he won't anymore cuz of the cats and his allergies. But, I don't cook, and to me that is a HUGE chore. I'd much rather vacuum than cook lol! I do ALL cat stuff. Feeding, litter boxing, etc etc etc. But that's okay: the kids have been fighting over who gets to help me scoop up litter. IDK how long their exuberance will last, but I'll take it lol!

I've never mowed the lawn. Not out of some weird refusal lol, but DH thinks of it as exercise, so he takes care of it. Once this summer DH was out of town for work and my neighbor mowed for me, without me asking/hinting. He knew DH was gone so he just did it. It's not like I can't do it (I don't think my neighbor views me as a damsel in distress lol!), but it gets taken care of for me. Who am I to complain?

Now, the one chore I haaaaate is taking out the trash. IDK why, but it makes me mad to do it. I will wheel the trash and recycle bins back up to the house after the garbage truck comes, but to actually tie up the kitchen trash, walk outside, throw it in the bin and come back inside? That's, like, torture.