Can You Let Things Go?

[QuiltyMom]

That's awesome Jan! You're being a good role model for your daugther!

Thanks, Rae. But she's not going to feel that way tomorrow when we have to tell her she can't do the ice show this year! eek!

 

[bestcee]

Am I the only one who struggles with trying to do it all? How do you handle it?

Nope!

my husband in his wisdom (he sent me to California for a week and had vacation to take care of my kids) he took my day to day schedule and made a poster. He put it on the wall, so when his coworkers say, what does your wife do? lol he color coded it and everything.

Have you scrapped this? I want to see it! What an awesome husband!

but at least I have blocks of time now when I step away from the electronics and just hang out.

This is so important! I started taking Sundays off this year from the computer. And it's been an amazing change in both Sunday and the rest of the week. I will occasionally pop on to TLP, if munchkin and Dh are involved in a show or something that I'm not into. But by taking that day off, I find I push myself the rest of the time to make sure I'm doing what I want to get done!

I'm also working on blocks of time scheduling. And I have particular days for certain things. Like laundry is Monday, unless something major comes up. So before gymnastics, I get at least 1 load done. Then when I get back, another load is usually done. All laundry is folded and put away on Monday. Dh's scrubs for work is the only thing I will do another load for during the week, and only if he picks up an OT shift. Otherwise, too bad. Wait until Monday or do it yourself.

 

[bcgal00]

Nope!


Have you scrapped this? I want to see it! What an awesome husband!


This is so important! I started taking Sundays off this year from the computer. And it's been an amazing change in both Sunday and the rest of the week. I will occasionally pop on to TLP, if munchkin and Dh are involved in a show or something that I'm not into. But by taking that day off, I find I push myself the rest of the time to make sure I'm doing what I want to get done!

I'm also working on blocks of time scheduling. And I have particular days for certain things. Like laundry is Monday, unless something major comes up. So before gymnastics, I get at least 1 load done. Then when I get back, another load is usually done. All laundry is folded and put away on Monday. Dh's scrubs for work is the only thing I will do another load for during the week, and only if he picks up an OT shift. Otherwise, too bad. Wait until Monday or do it yourself.

I like the idea of blocking time for getting chores done. I am failing in the housekeeping dept. I keep the kitchen organized and clean and the rooms are tidy but I just keep putting off washing the floors and vacuuming. I should just put it on the calendar and make sure it gets done.

 

[bestcee]

I keep the kitchen organized and clean and the rooms are tidy but I just keep putting off washing the floors and vacuuming. I should just put it on the calendar and make sure it gets done.

I started assigning a day. Little chores like that are spread out, because I tell myself I can do 30 minutes of chores, that's easy! So vacuum on Monday and Friday. I only mop once a week. I probably should do it more, but it's not a high priority. So I do it Saturday, since the family is around Sunday to enjoy the clean floors. 15 minute clutter pickup on Friday. Things like that. Simple, but effective when I do through the month.

 

[Karen]

This is definitely something I've had to learn to be better about over the years. Between school and church it seems like there's always somebody asking for me to volunteer to do something extra. I used to say yes to everything and then I'd get mad about how overwhelmed I was. Then I learned to just say no to the things I don't have time for. Especially if doing too much takes me away from my family. That's not fair to them. I do still struggle with guilt everytime I have to say no to something, but I know I need to, so that helps.

 

[Firstoscartgrouch]

I learned the very hard way to let things go. I had a medical crisis that literally killed me. When I came back I realized that life is worth savouring, that you need to enjoy the journey far more than just the destination. As women we push our selves relentlessly. We really need to as you say let it go. Look after yourself, take time to enjoy, realign priorities and really decide if you were to die tomorrow would you really be on your death bed worrying about that extra commitment you didn't meet or would you on your deathbed be happier remembering that snuggle with your son, or that hike with your husband.

Maudlin, I know, but it's the way I feel from what I've personally experienced.

 

[bcgal00]

This is definitely something I've had to learn to be better about over the years. Between school and church it seems like there's always somebody asking for me to volunteer to do something extra. I used to say yes to everything and then I'd get mad about how overwhelmed I was. Then I learned to just say no to the things I don't have time for. Especially if doing too much takes me away from my family. That's not fair to them. I do still struggle with guilt everytime I have to say no to something, but I know I need to, so that helps.

Yes, I understand the guilt. I will always probably feel a little guilty saying no but it's a fleeting feeling, it goes away, and when my time is better managed, my life is more balanced, then that's the important thing.

 

[cinna]

"Spreading myself thin" - what a wonderful expression!

Oh I´ve been there - so much it cost me my health. I´m living with fatigue syndrome since 2011.
So I´ve learned the hard way to say no - and I have to remind myself all the time since it´s so easy to say yes.
I´ve gone from an extrovert to an introvert and I´m fine with that.

 

[gonewiththewind]

I've gotten much better at saying no, but it's still hard for me to let things go. I have a lot of self-imposed chores/tasks that no one harasses me about . . . yet I feel guilty if I don't do them and can't let them go. I'm working on that!

 

[Celeste]

i am the worst. and have no advice. enjoying reading the thread though for ideas!

 

[BevG]

Many years ago I came across an evaluation chart and I can't credit it because I don't remember where I saw it. The first time around I completed it on paper, since then I try to mentally complete it from time to time. Create the rows - write down every activity you are involved in, including things like fixing dinner, taking the kids here and there, church, Facebook, leaving love in the gallery, scrapping, getting coffee out, etc. The columns across the top are time involved per day/week/month, money costs, benefit you get from being involved, motivation for being involved. Then look through your list and really evaluate if you need to be involved in all those things.

Some example lines:
Bubble bath/read -- 1 hour/week -- $0 -- me time/quiet/relax -- deep condition my hair/dedicated reading time
Run dd to classes -- 2 hours/week -- $6/week -- social interaction for dd/someone else teaches her -- meets my dd's needs

I remember the first time I did this, back in the pre-Facebook days of Yahoo groups, I realized I was a member on a group where I received no direct benefit and my motivation was being the "expert". So that was an easy one to drop as I did not need my ego stroked. It can also be quite eye-opening where we spend our time and money. In my example above, I just realized I had never totaled the driving time I do for my dd before now.

 

[bellbird]

Yes, I understand the guilt. I will always probably feel a little guilty saying no but it's a fleeting feeling, it goes away, and when my time is better managed, my life is more balanced, then that's the important thing.

guilt is still a problem for me when i use the N word but i have learned to use it more - as someone that used to say yes and volunteer constantly, and pick up the slack when others backed out or just didn't on a frequent basis, i got resentful of others and now i think back to that and how annoyed and snippy i was all the time and that helps reduce the guilt - i'm a nicer person when i dont volunteer for everything and accept my limitations

 

[NancyP]

Ahhhh, I read this and it takes me back to years ago when the five children were young and at home! There was dance, cheerleading, gymnastics etc etc etc. Helping with recitals; sewing costumes, and all on top of me working and being involved in civic clubs besides. WHEW. But there was no scrapbooking back then. How many times I use to say "Calgon take me away". You youngen' won't remember that ad!! Now I am retired with time on my hands to do what I want to do and the first thing I did was get WAY to inlvolved in CTing for designers and sites. When the deadlines and stress started to overwhelm me I just had to put the brakes on. About a year ago I stepped down from it all so I could enjoy my scrapping!!! Now I just enjoy my retirement and my time to do what I want.

 

[bcgal00]

I learned the very hard way to let things go. I had a medical crisis that literally killed me. When I came back I realized that life is worth savouring, that you need to enjoy the journey far more than just the destination. As women we push our selves relentlessly. We really need to as you say let it go. Look after yourself, take time to enjoy, realign priorities and really decide if you were to die tomorrow would you really be on your death bed worrying about that extra commitment you didn't meet or would you on your deathbed be happier remembering that snuggle with your son, or that hike with your husband.

Maudlin, I know, but it's the way I feel from what I've personally experienced.

Sherri - yes, exactly! I have a big decision coming up about a work commitment and I know it's going to take away even more of my time so I'm encouraging myself to say no. It's not worth a bit of extra money if it takes more time away from my family.

 

[bcgal00]

"Spreading myself thin" - what a wonderful expression!

Oh I´ve been there - so much it cost me my health. I´m living with fatigue syndrome since 2011.
So I´ve learned the hard way to say no - and I have to remind myself all the time since it´s so easy to say yes.
I´ve gone from an extrovert to an introvert and I´m fine with that.

Carina - I'm assuming fatigue syndrome makes you tire out faster? I can relate a bit as with my thyroid disease I noticed a big difference in my stamina, it's like a switch being turned off, one minute I'm fine and then the next minute a wave of fatigue washes over me and I am ready for bed. These days I can barely keep my eyes open past 10 pm and I used to stay awake until about midnight or 1:00 pm, especially on wkends, but not anymore.

 

[bcgal00]

I've gotten much better at saying no, but it's still hard for me to let things go. I have a lot of self-imposed chores/tasks that no one harasses me about . . . yet I feel guilty if I don't do them and can't let them go. I'm working on that!

Gee Cheryl....where do you find time to anything else other than design and shop for wonderful decor pieces for your lovely home? All joking aside, yes, self-imposed responsibilities are just as hard on us as outside influences, either way, we are stressing ourselves out about it.

 

[bcgal00]

Many years ago I came across an evaluation chart and I can't credit it because I don't remember where I saw it. The first time around I completed it on paper, since then I try to mentally complete it from time to time. Create the rows - write down every activity you are involved in, including things like fixing dinner, taking the kids here and there, church, Facebook, leaving love in the gallery, scrapping, getting coffee out, etc. The columns across the top are time involved per day/week/month, money costs, benefit you get from being involved, motivation for being involved. Then look through your list and really evaluate if you need to be involved in all those things.

Some example lines:
Bubble bath/read -- 1 hour/week -- $0 -- me time/quiet/relax -- deep condition my hair/dedicated reading time
Run dd to classes -- 2 hours/week -- $6/week -- social interaction for dd/someone else teaches her -- meets my dd's needs

I remember the first time I did this, back in the pre-Facebook days of Yahoo groups, I realized I was a member on a group where I received no direct benefit and my motivation was being the "expert". So that was an easy one to drop as I did not need my ego stroked. It can also be quite eye-opening where we spend our time and money. In my example above, I just realized I had never totaled the driving time I do for my dd before now.

Bev, that is an awesome idea!

 

[bcgal00]

guilt is still a problem for me when i use the N word but i have learned to use it more - as someone that used to say yes and volunteer constantly, and pick up the slack when others backed out or just didn't on a frequent basis, i got resentful of others and now i think back to that and how annoyed and snippy i was all the time and that helps reduce the guilt - i'm a nicer person when i dont volunteer for everything and accept my limitations

Justine - that made me giggle.....using the "N word" ha ha. Yes, "accept my limitations" is so important.

 

[bcgal00]

Ahhhh, I read this and it takes me back to years ago when the five children were young and at home! There was dance, cheerleading, gymnastics etc etc etc. Helping with recitals; sewing costumes, and all on top of me working and being involved in civic clubs besides. WHEW. But there was no scrapbooking back then. How many times I use to say "Calgon take me away". You youngen' won't remember that ad!! Now I am retired with time on my hands to do what I want to do and the first thing I did was get WAY to inlvolved in CTing for designers and sites. When the deadlines and stress started to overwhelm me I just had to put the brakes on. About a year ago I stepped down from it all so I could enjoy my scrapping!!! Now I just enjoy my retirement and my time to do what I want.

Nancy - ha ha...yes I remember that phrase LOL. I'm an old fogey too I've been enjoying all your beautiful pages, so it looks like you are enjoying your scrappy time.

 

[gonewiththewind]

Gee Cheryl....where do you find time to anything else other than design and shop for wonderful decor pieces for your lovely home? All joking aside, yes, self-imposed responsibilities are just as hard on us as outside influences, either way, we are stressing ourselves out about it.

Bwahahahaha! I do love to design and decorate! I'm so grateful for my sis-in-law. She's always thrifting and finds me the happiest little items . . . as well as my mom who goes to estate sales . . . but then again, Amazon is my friend, too!