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connor needs some "it gets better" or.. "hang in there" words of encouragement..

la

la

A closet sap
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May 8, 2010
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kid is having a rough time. i've posted before about him having ptsd/anxiety/depression etc. he started having nightmares again and while he's got things mostly in check i can see him slipping slowly back to the bad places and he really needed the break from pressure with summer. he was SO SO looking forward to summer and, well, we're 2 days out of school.. he's sitting next to me on the floor currently ranting about how this is the worst summer ever, that it sucks and he's miserable.

it's about 900 degrees (here and everywhere i know :p lol) but he's super sick, and has the.biggest.pile.of.summer.work.ever. he's going into 3rd grade.. he has 9 summer reading books, an 86 page (not an exaggeration) work book for writing, 2 packets each for each of the 9 books, and 2 online math sets (the assignments won't be up till the 25th, but based on the load on the reading/writing end i assume it's going to be hefty). He's on the verge of tears repeating how he hates school, hates summer, hates everything.

I'm out of words :p I used every single motivation I could come up with just to get him through the school year :p So what do you have. Please give connor a pep talk because I'm about to put all his school work into a bonfire and say up their butts :p :giggle
 
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He has summer school work? My boys just finished kindergarten, so I did not know about that! that totally stinks.
I don't have any real words of encouragement since I can't speak from experience, but I am so sorry and I hope that even though it is getting off to a rough start that the summer will turn around and still be fun for both of you! :)
 
Holy hell!! That's a lot of summer work. Especially for a 3rd grader.

I wish I had something more encouraging than "hang in there" but I don't have school-aged kids so I can't even relate. I can imagine it sucks for him though :(
 
That's awful, poor Connor (and you!)!

I have just finished an 8 week course with my 9yo to help deal with anxiety. It was a group session and it just helped Henry to know there were other kids out there who were like him. All of the kids showed improvement over the 8 weeks. It's damn hard work having a child who gets stressed, as well as heartbreaking for the parent.

it's overwhelming for any kid when they pile all that work in front of him, very daunting and that can stop him from starting. I'd put most of it away and bring it out bit by bit. Just one thing at a time.

The course was also big on rewards (bribery) as well. Just small things (family time, movies etc) whenever they accomplished something they found difficult. I can scan some of the workbook for you if you need some ideas. Just pm me, happy to share.

This doesn't help Connor in the short term though, the first morning of school is tough but it does get easier once you have started. It really is a hang on in there, it does get better situation...
 
None of my kids have summer homework, what's up with that?! Seems a bit ridiculous to me!

No real advice, though. Maybe break it down into manageable chunks with a reward at the end of each one?
 
What the heck? The bonfire sounds good to me. My kids get a pretty heavy load during the school year, but they never EVER assign them work for the summer. We buy them math review books to do (which they actually enjoy) and make sure they're reading (books of their choice, with a little nudge to pick up a few things that are towards the mid to upper range of their level), just so their brains don't completely rot over the summer, but I can't imagine a big assignment list like that.

If the bonfire is not a realistic option... maybe if you divide it up by how many days he has to get it done, and see that it will just be a small chunk at a time, it won't seem so overwhelming. Tell him he will get through this. And someday he will be all done with school and then he can do whatever the heck he wants. :D :giggle
 
I like what Angie said. Manageable chunks with a reward at the end of each.

I'll be pm'ing you!!! I'll dangle the carrot for him!
 
This is what I tell my kids: you can eat an elephant one bite at a time.

Instead of focusing on what a mountain of work it is, think of it as a great opportunity to model schedules and organizing. Maybe you could use some scrap supplies and make "Connor's Calendar" to figure out what he should do every day. For example, maybe 20 minutes of reading, 10 minutes of math and 10 minutes of writing would be enough to get through the workload. (If his summer break is 9 weeks long, then one book per week or whatever fits...) He could break that down into 3 short study sessions during the day. Suddenly, that doesn't look quite so hard. Give a mini reward after each session. I am also big on making a "checklist" for my girls so they can have that little satisfaction of marking an item as done. Post it where he can do it and celebrate each little check! I'm also big on change of venue. Can you do reading time in a quiet room at the (air conditioned) library or math in a shady spot at the park? I think keeping things fresh helps. OK, that's all the advice I have. LOL hth

As for you, Mama, hang in there! Seeing your kiddo stressed is so tough. It WILL get better.
 
it certainly doesn't help that it's soooo hot there. Any fun ways to beat the heat?

Does he like to bake? I'd have a baking time each week. Something he can plan ahead, find the recipe, you'll shop and just assist him (these are some of the carrots...not all toys and stuff, but fun things to do)

My boys LOVED going to the local pottery place where they had classes on painting pottery. They learned how to mask and a lot of cool things. It was really one of the things that was best for Patrick. They had summer classes there for the kids too. The supposed two hour classes would take up to 8 for my boys though, mostly because they loved being there. We'd stop at Starbucks first and take a fun drink in.

ummmm...still thinking of fun things to do...

I would say that I'd take him to Disney...but you'd have to get out here first! LOL!! Maybe you should plan this for this winter when it's cold and gloomy there, and it's gorgeous here!
 
Hang in there Connor! One day at a time is right, like the others have said! My daughter who is also going into the 3rd grade has a homework packet too for the summer, which I love so that she doesn't slide backwards during the summer like most kids do! I think summer work has become more common here so that our schools stay current and progressive! I know the first few days that amount seems like a lot, but remember you have the whole summer. We don't beat ourselves up around here if we go a day or two without doing some work - we just have to finish the packet by start of next school year. Rewards and trying to get him out to do fun cheap things will make a difference I am sure! Hang in there both of you - praying for some peace of mind so you both can enjoy your summer!!!
 
Is the summer work REQUIRED? My kids always get packets of recommended stuff to help them stay up to speed over the summer, but none of it is required. I've never heard of that! Poor guy. I'd be bummed too! Maybe let him have a week or two off with no work and then start giving him a bit here and there. I don't have any other better advice for you then the other girls gave - hugs and good luck!!
 
poor ce. i have no more advice. one step at a time....he's an amazing kid, he can do it!
 
If, after you divide the work up and determine how much he needs to complete daily, it still appears as if it is going to be too daunting and will increase his anxiety, etc. to an unmanageable level, can you work with his physician and the school administration to come up with a plan that will allow him to get through the summer and begin the new school year with the lowest level of anxiety possible while completing the most critical aspects of the work? School systems should have something in place to deal with these situations.
 
thanks everyone :] the summer work is required, some of it is actually even extra because of his iep. makes sense :p last year we put it off for a couple weeks and ended up running out of time, this year there is even more so we can't take that time again. I'm hoping last night's meltdown was just because he was feeling crappy. Little by little. There's no other way to get this done right :]
 
Oh, I have no additional advice, just little by little... Ce can do it, he's an awesome dude... hang in there, both of you!

a thought... can you split it up so that he can have a week off in the middle just to break it up a little more and maybe you two can have some extra fun during that week, if he completed the first half, like go to his favorite places.
 
I can't believe you have all that hw!! CRAZY!!! Poor little dude!! I think that would drive any kid over the edge. Our school district doesn't do hw over the summer. A reading list for high school kids sometimes. But that's it. I guess that explains the state of our test scores. LOL But c'mon!! Kids need to play to excell as well!!! Maybe if you read to him?? Those are some of my favorite memories as a child. Being read to when I was older, or what about doing hw different places. Like; at McDonald's, the park under a fort etc. just might work to shake things up enough so it doesn't FEEL like hw. Poor fella. Give him lots of loves. That guy. Sounds like he needs it.
 
heathergw said:
Oh, I have no additional advice, just little by little... Ce can do it, he's an awesome dude... hang in there, both of you!

a thought... can you split it up so that he can have a week off in the middle just to break it up a little more and maybe you two can have some extra fun during that week, if he completed the first half, like go to his favorite places.
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Looks like there is a lot of good advice already so uh... yeah... hang in there.

Hugs to you. And to him.
 
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