Credits:
Baby's First Year - Amanda Yi & Becca Bonneville
Journaling (979 words in French, 940 in English)
My Thomas, my baby,
The story of your birth begins on Friday, February 1, 2019. On that day, a little over 8 months pregnant, I had a pretty normal day. When I woke up, I lay in my bed for a while and felt you moving in my belly. You liked to move around when I was quiet in bed. At noon, I lay down again (I was often quite tired) but this time I didn't feel you move much. I didn't worry too much, it happened sometimes. You were probably sleeping. After a trip to the market in the late afternoon, I lay down again and again I didn't feel you move. That's when I started to worry. I sent a few messages to Auntie Nanie, to the fly-aunties, but I decided to wait a little.
In the evening, Dad and I watched the movie "Bohemian Rhapsody", a biopic about Freddy Mercury and Queen. The movie was great but I must admit that I didn't pay full attention to it: I was focused on my belly where there was a disturbing calm. At the end of the movie, around 10:30 pm, I told the fly-aunties that I was going to go to the hospital the next day if you didn't move more. And finally, I called the CMCO (medical-surgical obstetric center) in Schiltigheim where I was being followed and they asked me to come because it was worrying. We left around half past midnight, in Grandpa and Grandma's car (where Dad was more comfortable). I was the one driving and fortunately I knew the road well and it was late because again I was not very concentrated.
When we arrived, we went to the delivery room to monitor and I was very relieved to hear your heart beating normally. Phew! Finally, the relief was short-lived because you weren't very active and your heart rate was very regular, too regular in fact. They decided to keep us overnight and continue monitoring. Dad settled into a bed that we brought him, to relieve his back, and I stayed on the delivery bed where I had been since my arrival. I was cold, a terrible back pain (there was a kind of hollow in the bed and I didn't know how to get comfortable). During the night I managed to sleep for only about two hours, before I was woken up by the screams of a woman giving birth next door.
Early in the morning, as your heart rate was still too regular, the gynaecologist decided to induce labor. So I went to get a balloon to dilate my cervix which was completely closed. I was not at all ready, physically, for you to be born! This operation was painful and complicated, but we finally managed to do it. Meanwhile, your dad was calling everyone to arrange for his return home, as a cervical induction can take a very long time.
Shortly after I returned to the delivery room after the balloon was put in, the gynecologist changed her mind and decided to do a C-section. I was three weeks away from full term, with no signs of natural labour, your heart rate was still not good, so the doctors didn't want to take the risk of triggering a labour that could last dangerously long.
And then everything accelerated: they put restraints on my legs, they barely had time to warn Mamyni that she had to come right away, Dad cancelled the coming of those who were supposed to bring him home to wait for your arrival... In short, it was a bit of madness, even panic!
I was taken to the operating room, on the same floor. Dad decided not to come with me. I had the epidural put in, which was a little painful and stressful. I cried in the arms of the nurse who helped me position myself correctly for the injection, to relieve my nervousness and anxiety. I was in a hurry to get you out, to make sure that everything was okay for you.
After the anesthesia (which made me vomit), the operation started and you were born at 8:47 am on February 2, 2019. I was behind a sheet but I saw you come out over it and be taken to the next room for first aid and exams. I panicked a bit because I couldn't hear you crying, but very quickly a nurse (or midwife, no idea!) reassured me that you were okay, and then I heard your voice.
After I was evaluated and while I was finished being cared for, you were able to be placed on my chest for a few minutes. I finally discovered your face that I had only just seen when you were born. I was overwhelmed with emotion, I was shaking, I was crying, I was afraid to let you down. After a little while, I felt overwhelmed and I told the nurses that they could take you to see Daddy.
He saw you arrive in an incubator and he was able to discover you, take some pictures, and watch the first aid by the medical staff. You were fine, we were finally reassured. My operation ended without any problems and the three of us were then in my recovery room / operation suite. That's where you had your welcome feed, two hours after your birth (the first of many!). Dad was able to rest a little, I probably had to sleep too, it was hard to realize what had just happened.
You were there, and we were just beginning to understand the extent of our love for you.
