I'm always at home creating art journaling layouts...I guess it's part of my usual style...whatever that is?...But during the pandemic I stopped creating these kind of personal layouts...I guess I just didn't want to put any negative vibes on top of all the ones that were there each day...Besides I just couldn't do it creatively...It just seemed like a strange concept to me at the time...Everyone was struggling not just me...So why should I indulge in my own selfish form of self-therapy to make myself feel better???...So for whatever reason...I just created more upbeat happier/more positive layouts...I guess I was also trying to cheer myself up a little!...A lot of them were based on the concept of hope...I guess I thought if I felt a bit better...then maybe I could cheer someone else up too...I was always on the hunt for daily things to cheer myself up...All the pain on the news was a lot for me to bear...I just couldn't watch that after awhile...I needed to find my own way to get through my own days of struggle & pain...and remind myself that it is not selfish to try to make yourself feel better...and find ways to handle & survive daily pain...
But now I feel different...I feel it is now the right time to create layouts about these things...I felt like I lost myself a bit creatively during the pandemic...but I feel like I've found myself again...Yes! I kept creating lots of pages but mostly for my CT work...I now feel my layouts are personally what I'm trying to say on each page I create...I have found ways to include my feelings & thoughts in each page I now create...lncluding my CT work... whether it may seem obvious or not...but as a lot of you know,my pages are all about feelings anyway...
I have found that these Wonderful! "Hear My Voice" new creative collections that Rachel & Lynn have created...have sparked a deeper energy about my own feelings & my own art journaling journey...& that sadly includes daily pain...but these collections have helped me so much...to create my pain on digital & get those feelings out...& for this I'm grateful for their creations!!!..I have always been a Big! Rachel & Lynn Fan! anyway...No secret there...But I just identify with these collections more than some others...I feel like they make it O.K. to express all those feelings...good & bad on each page I create...I'm all about the feelings & heartfelt pages...These collections have given me a new creative outlet to express my own feelings...I just want to say a BIG!!!...THANK YOU!!! to Lynn Grieveson & Rachel Jefferies...for all the inspiration created here & elsewhere too!!!...
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*SENSITIVE : IF YOU WANT TO STOP READING HERE...xx Rhonda...
*Now that being said my layout today is steeped in pain...I've been struggling with a lot more pain than usual these days because of a newer condition I have...Days have been long & tough to bear...I mean I still don't want this to be all gloom & doom either...I am a very lucky person surrounded with love,kindness & support from my Dad,My Hubby Ray & all of my many friends!...all for which I'm so grateful for...and there is a lot of positive in each day too...you have to look harder sometimes...but it is always there...but I digress...I have some conversations with myself & my pain sometimes...& try to bargain with it...so I can have just a little bit less...I know that seems weird...but I also do ask myself why it is that I have so much pain in my life?...Am I a bad person?...What did I do to deserve this?...And the answer is nothing!!!...It is not my fault of course...but I have my moments of weakness sometimes in the pit of a dark moment or day...where I second guess myself...The ugly head of anxiety & depression sometimes rears itself...I guess that is why I look for positive inspiration in my life despite all of the pain...Things could be worse...in fact they have been in some respects in the last 4 or 5 years...Eventhough pain in prevalent in this layout...I believe in Hope! Faith! Love! Positivity! always...Thank You!!! everyone who made it this far reading my drawn out story...I Hope I didn't bore anyone too much...moving forward...There are only 2 safe layout spaces for me...where I feel safe enough to express my deeper feelings through my art in layout form...and the Lilypad is the Number 1 place...Thank You! everyone!...Hearts & Hugs Always...xx Rhonda...
*My Pain Just Sucks Layout :
Created with : Hear My Voice : 02 : Hurting & Hear My Voice : 03 : Healing : Collections By Rachel Jefferies & Lynn Grieveson
Additional Fonts I used For My Own WA/Journaling :
*Smelly Peach Blocky
*Smelly Peach Regular
*Oracles Regular
