Kits used:
I'll Love You Forever - Sahlin Studio
Vellum Alpha - Sahlin Studio
Journalling Reads -
Hindsight is 20/20 isn’t a phrase I’d usually use, as even in tough situations I believe everything happens for a reason. Especially when it comes to the two of you, you’ve thrown me the odd curve ball here and there but I can say I have no regrets. I have tried to appreciate every moment, snuggled you for a little longer than needed, soaked in your smell, carried you, played with you, traveled and laughed with you. I have never wished the time away, hoped you were older, more capable or anything other than just being you; perfect in that moment. If we were to go back in time, there isn’t one thing I’d do differently. Well, possibly one thing, I do regret not having breast fed you for longer. I tried my hardest at the time, but I do sometimes wonder if I could have another try, if I had stopped the hospital giving you a bottle, if I hadn’t let the health visitor get in my head and tell me I wasn’t coping with feeding you both and started supplementing with formula. Could we have done better? Could we have made it longer than 3 months? Would Emilia have taken better to breastfeeding if she hadn’t had a bottle to compare it to?
What I do know is that no matter the answers to those questions, we definitely made the best decision for us at the time. Breastfeeding was making the 3 of us miserable, and it was impacting the rest of the family too. Emilia would scream at my boob for minutes solid until we would give up and give her a bottle - usually by which time we were both sobbing and Evelyn had given up. My supply was running low. I got to the stage where I was dreading the next feed. Eventually we decided to stop and formula feed. The decision was hard for me, I felt like such a failure, breastfeeding is supposed to be a natural thing for mothers but looking back I can see the impact it was having on us and the toll it was taking on all of us.
Ultimately, how you were fed doesn’t change anything, you are the smartest, sweetest, kindest little girls I have ever met and you’ve came on leaps and bounds regardless of how you were fed. While I would have liked to keep up breastfeeding longer, I am happy we managed 3 months. Hindsight really is 20/20.
Under Photo -
And recalling this particular photo, had you been fed and happy, we would never have ended up with this picture of you kissing, since Evelyn was just sucking Emilia’s head because she was hungry - but it lead to one of my favourite photos from your newborn shoot.
Challenge Requirements -
Over 200 words on Hightsight is 20/20 - page has 461 words.
