Keep Going...

I tend not to focus on my disability, as it doesn’t define me. Yet every now and then reality slaps me in the face and I know I am different than everyone else. There are days that I literally have to force myself out of bed. I go to work, put a smile on my face and pretend everything is ok. Yet my world is spinning and I am battling a major vertigo attack, barely keeping down my breakfast while both my ears are ringing as mad as I check in customers for their flights. Sometimes I can barely keep my balance. There are those moments where I make a call to the help line only to get someone who speaks in a whisper and I can understand a word they are saying and they get frustrated with me for asking them to repeat themselves 100 times. Hearing aids are not a magical cure for deafness. Every sound is a struggle some days. I get listening headaches and some days when I get home I cannot wait to rip my “ears” off and have quiet. Than the next day I am back at it again, once again trying my hardest to fit in a world of norms and keep going. I am exhausted and tired. Every moment of every day gets harder for me. I grit my teeth and don’t complain, after all not many understand.

Rachel Jefferies: Pastures Green Paper, Let Yourself Mixed Media Artisy, m3 Nov 2018 Add Ons, All About Him