Goal Digger by Forever Joy Designs
Mamalogue by Forever Joy Designs
Sketchy Characters by Kim Jensen Designs
IRL: Highlighted by Allison Pennington
Journaling:
November 30, 2006....The day we brought Ada home from the hospital. Asher immediately crawled into my lap and cuddled with the two of us. I remember thinking at that very moment, "my heart is full". While we made the decision about 3 days later that this was it for us, In this exact moment I remember thinking that, despite wanting more kids, at this exact moment, I was good; my heart was full; and I wasn't sure I could love any more children than I did the two in my arms. I framed this photo with a quote on the frame "My Heart is Full" and have had it on my bedside table since then. My heart has constantly been full, through the laughs, the challenges, the world shutting down. We've always done it together. Just the four of us.
Now, 16 years later, I'm dealing with part of my heart not being here. When Asher went to college this past fall, a part of me went with him, and I'm not sure it will ever come back. I mean already, he was only home for part of Thanksgiving break & Christmas, and will not be home for Spring Break or for a couple weeks after school ends. I'm happy he's loving college and the newfound freedom, especially after being a "Covid Kid" and spending so much time in his high school years stuck at home. My heart looks ahead to 2025 when Ada goes away as well, and I'm sure in those moments, my heart will be empty for a while. I know people survive (and even thrive) in an empty nest scenario, but I'm only a half nest right now, and I'm not sure how people do it. Only time will tell how I'll actually do when I'm a full empty nest, but in the meantime I cherish every half hug, eye roll, laugh, and request to go to Starbucks while I can from the half of my nest that remains here..
