finding my balance - MOC Day 31

Rachel Jefferies: Foundation - Basic Backgrounds; Foundation - Misc. Mixed Media Collectables; Foundation - Paint, Stamps and Brushes

Journaling:
most days, i feel like i walk a tightrope - too far to the right, i disappoint others. too far to the left, i disappoint myself. somewhere in the middle there is my center, my true north, where i'm able to take care of my responsibilities to others and keep myself cared for as well. unfortunately, i have high expectations for everyone and everything. mostly myself. and speaking up has never been my strong suit. i've never been one to bring attention to myself or be in the spotlight. i'm the silent force that takes care of the details but is never seen. pay no attention to the man behind the curtain. and yet, as i get older circumstances are such that i realize staying silent isn't always in my best interest. in order to keep my sanity, sometimes i need to come first. it doesn't take much to make me happy - fresh sheets on my bed. sloppy dog kisses. the sun on my face. the beauty of a fall sunrise. a glass of good red wine. and yet, when i don't speak up, sometimes i miss the sunrise, or i fall into those sheets at the end of the day, too tired or preoccupied to enjoy them (let's be honest, i will always enjoy a glass of good red wine!). i have moments i look back on that i'm not proud of. not because of anything i did, but because of things i didn't do. things i didn't say. its not an either or - selfish or selfless. there is a middle, a center, where both sides are satisfied. i need to find that center.