After the Rain

My entry for the Random Challenge - Feb 2018...

I redid the In a Row Technique - Day 30

Kit used: After the Rain Collab

Journaling:
I feel like the little girl I am in the picture. I’m laying here unable to quiet my mind. Two years ago I was numbly sitting on the side of my bed coloring a flower picture for my Mom and feeling as though the world had ended. I didn’t know what else to do. I couldn’t cry anymore and I could not sleep. I still can’t believe she’s gone. I felt the ugly cry well from deep inside of me so many times tonight - but God’s grace and the love of Michael and Melissa pushed it away by their love. So many times these past two years I have wanted to share things with her, to hug her, to call her, and the fact that she’s just not there frankly still shocks me. I’m sad she is not seeing Melissa grow into the beautiful young lady she knew Melissa would be one day. I’m sad she never saw me waking up from my depressed stupor and start taking care of myself again - wearing my makeup again and stylish, feminine clothes. I’m sad she never got to see our house and see us settled and happy. I’m sad she never got to share in the joy of Michael’s job and the joy it brings to our family. I wish I had woken up sooner so that we could have shared the happiness of transformation an growth in the Lord. She used to say “if wishes were horses, beggars would ride...”I sure hope if there’s a way, that God will somehow let her see all the good times and changes she missed in our lives.