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Reflections

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Journaling Reads:
My son, I am sorry. I don't even know where to begin or what to say to you. When we spoke on Sunday, you confirmed that you have canceled your plans to attend Grad School in the fall. I have worried and suspected that it might come to this, but it was still hard for me to hear you say those words. I know that it is a bitter pill for you to swallow. I have been doing a lot of thinking these past few days, and I keep playing our conversation over in my mind.

I remember so vividly that night in February when you called home. You were bubbling over with excitement, and were elated to share the news that you had been accepted into xxx Your dream school. The one thing you have wanted so much and have been working towards.

Your acceptance into their Mechanical Engineering program is a direct reflection of everything you have worked so hard for. I was secretly hoping these three months would pass by slowly, so I could selfishly have you home for a little while before you left. You, on the other hand, were excited to finish off your final semester and graduate in May before heading off to the East Coast. You were hoping to find a job in the Albany area so that you could work to fund your tuition. You had it all figured out. I don't think any of us could have anticipated the events that would unfold in the weeks that followed. As I sit here and write this, I am still trying to make sense of what has happened to our world. I still cannot fathom the scale of loss that is going on everywhere.

You keep saying that your change of plans is not a big deal. In the grand scale of things, you are right. It is not a big deal. But in your boat, it is a big deal.

I know how much this opportunity means to you. I know how hard you have worked for it. And as much as you try to hide it, I know that you are disappointed. I share your disappointment. My son, while I share your disappointment, I am incredibly proud of you for the maturity you are showing. I feel your sadness, and my heart is hurting for you. I wish there was something I could do to change things. Along with so many others, you will not get to walk at your Graduation Ceremony in May. You have worked so hard for this, and nothing can diminish your achievement. I am so proud of your positive attitude. As you rightly point out, there is still so much to be thankful for. There are many different paths that one can take in life, and I know that God will guide you where you need to be. You will find your own path.

With Covid-19 and everything that is going on in the world, you are learning life lessons that are hard to teach. You have a good head on your shoulders and you stay true to what you believe in. You have realized that this is not a good time to be getting into debt, especially in such an uncertain job market. Right now, we do not even know whether students will be allowed on campus in the fall. I do not know what lies ahead for you, but I want you to know that I love you. I am so very proud of you and all that you have accomplished. I can't wait to see where your journey takes you.
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What wonderful and heartfelt journaling. Life has dealt some big disappointments during this Covid-19 time with probably more to come. Wishing your son the very best in his journey into the future. As momma's we hurt when our children hurt and can relate to your struggle. Hugs to you ...
 

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Journaling Challenge
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JenEm
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TLP journaling Ch June 2020.jpg
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Sun, 28 June 2020 6:41 PM
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