This is for the Journaling Challenge for June. This one was a hard one for me, but once I started writing, it just came out. This layout is a hard subject and the journaling is about death. I have pasted it here for those of you who want to read it.
Journaling: The moment in life that took my breath away can’t be scrapped adequately for public viewing - but I will try. By that, If I scrapped it with the pictures I am thinking about, it would be entirely too uncomfortable for people to see. I do however have pictures that are less shocking. This picture was taken by the funeral directors when my siblings and I saw my Mother in her casket this past year. The moment that took my breath away was seeing my precious Mama, lying in state in a casket. There is nothing that can prepare one for the shock. It’s incomprehensible that anyone even survives it. I’m telling you - I could not breathe for a second. There was a surreal parting of time when I absolutely could not move, speak, or breathe. It was a moment I was afraid of my entire life. Then, in a breath of grace, I came back to myself. I heard in my brain, “Oh, Momma…you are beautiful!” I was somehow able to confront my fears and look at her, touch her, and be in the moment. She had been in a car accident and it had taken longer than usual to get her to the Funeral Home. We were so afraid that she would not be in a state for an open casket, which is what she wanted. As I opened my eyes and looked at her, I knew instantly that my life as I knew it would never be the same without her in it. I also knew that because of the strong and faithful woman that she was, I would be able to be that strong woman she raised ME to be. She lived the example. I touched her hair, kissed her face, held her and, and then thanked her for my life. As I walked away from the casket to greet the family and friends who had come to honor her, I felt her presence keep me tall, straight, and strong for myself and for everyone else. In that breathless moment when I saw my Mom’s earthly shell vacant, I grew up. Be Brave. It's the only choice you have, and the way to go on.
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