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Why do wife's no nothing, as far there husband is concerned

I am so so mad - I am not dumb like he things I am. It was the live wire to outdoor lamp, touching something, fused to the lamp head.
Which I asked if he would check... and he got ****ed and did check... da da...
 
Something in the "y" gene -- it's that or they think we know everything when it comes to little things (of course I can google them and let him think that).
 
But he doesn't think i know anything.. hurts sometimes. I don't nag, or seldom mention a opinion, he is better since retired, but does get in these moods at times
 
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Sad thing it probably isn't going to change. So you have to remind yourself that you knew it and how smart you are. It's not personal Cath, it just seems to be the way they look at things and the idea that they have to be the "fixer" Here's a good spot for some art journal or self-talk -- I'm not saying it doesn't hurt, but you can also change the way you receive it. I get out my "he doesn't know what he's talking about when he says that about me" shield. You aren't alone in the feeling.
 
DH doesn't do this so much, but my father-in-law.... I used to get SO MAD. He was always wagging a finger at me and saying something obvious in this tone of voice like he was swooping in to save me. Like one time he got up in my face and told me to be sure to hold onto the cake while we were in the car, because if I didn't, it would slide around and get ruined. YA THINK? Like I've never been in a car before! I have to just ignore it now, because otherwise he's a great guy and I do like him. When he says something like that, I remind myself the problem is with him, not me.
 
Good perspectives, Carilyne and Lorrie. Thankfully, my husband thinks I'm so capable that he let's me do more than I probably should and he's pretty quiet about it when I make mistakes. I think sometimes I do this to him and tell him the obvious and he gets irritated with me. I'm not doing it because I don't think he knows what to do, I'm just thinking outloud.
 
Its a strange dichotomy at our house. He would not dare suggest I do nothing...
I manage our finances, food, the house and work full time with a long commute. .
He definitely works hard and long hours, but I multitask. He does manage the cleaning lady and the dishwasher...
However, somehow he still thinks I'm in the closet turned to off when he isn't present. I get lots of texts during the day and requests when at home, something like: Since your not busy can you call this person or solve this problem...
Men are just obtuse...
 
You have all made some great points.

My husband is funny. There are soooooo many times that I will tell him something, and he ignores it, but then when someone else says it, like an article in a newspaper or someone he respects in the public eye, he comes running to tell me about it. I get frustrated and say, "Yeah, that's what I said the other day," and he just looks at me like he doesn't remember anything I've said.

The latest was with the stuff going on in Baltimore. I'd done a lot of reading and research about how the city changed a lot of policies and laws about how they could arrest/detain people without cause (virtually repealing citizens' 4th amendment rights), and it had been going on for years, including a previous mayor cooking the books as far as crime rates and such. So I'd told him about a bunch of info/facts and he acted like he was listening. But then he went to a community lunch for work and the keynote speaker who is a big mucky-muck in the political/news arena was talking about the same stuff I'd said. Tim came home to tell me all about it, and repeated almost exactly what I'd said to him three days before, and I just shook my head.

Sometimes I think that he discounts what I say because I don't work outside the home anymore, or maybe he just doesn't think that I'm as savvy as I was when I was working and not spending my day with a 5-year old, or doing lots of scrapbooking? Or maybe he thinks that somehow what I pay attention to isn't important or accurate? I don't really get it. I'm finishing my second Masters degree, so I'm not exactly a shrinking violet as far as educated opinions go. :p And he's also funny because if I try to talk to him about it, he immediately gets defensive, and then it is pointless to try.

So I have realized that it is just one of the quirks of our relationship, and I try not to take it personally. But it helps telling you guys and knowing I'm not the only one who deals with it. :giggle
 
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