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Why Are Men So...

Patti

Patti

CT4Val, Heather, Sabrina
Joined
May 21, 2010
Messages
1,015
Just wondering why men can be so demanding of our time and 'whine' like babies about what seems like, everything?:whistle:whistle

My hubby is on disability and stays at home while I go out and bust my tookus to make the dough. I come home and make meals, do laundry etc and then am made to feel guilty when I want me time and time to create, read etc.

Anyone have any suggestions for a happy medium? I feel like being two feet away from him creating while watching tv at the same time, 'isn't even good enough' and he still is 'needy'.. UGH!! HELP!!!
 
Maybe try to tell him that you are scheduling out a certain block of time for your creative/scrapping time, and even put it on the calendar or set a timer if you have to. Let him know you are focused on him when you're doing meals/chores, whatever and that you need a little relaxation time. Maybe if you try to give him some focused time right before your crafty time, he'll be more understanding. I dunno. That is a tough one. I'm sure he feels like he's all alone during the day and wants adult time when you're home so he wants to have it all. But it isn't fair for you, so I think you need to talk to him about it.

If that doesn't work, you could always lie. LOL. Tell him you have to do something for a deadline. :D
 
I had to lay down the LAW and I don't even work. My husband wanted to be up in my grill 24/7. I told him he needed to get a hobby. So he started running. Um... no, you need to get your OWN hobby. Finally, he started taking flying lessons. Now we have an agreement. He can go fly whenever he wants, and I can do what I want whenever I want. Happiness at last.
 
I've told him numerous times he needs a hobby! I don't know how I can encourage him to figure it out. All he really does is sit and watch tv and sleep. He doesn't even read much anymore. I know what it is like to have chronic pain, for a short period of time.. I can't imagine what his daily life is like though living it. He doesn't even have any friends. ugh!... Seriously Angie, I wish I lived closer, I'd send my hubby flying with yours.. lmao!!
 
Usually when I am online, it is for a deadline. I think he is just jealous of 'my life' and 'friends' that I have online and off and is trying to make me feel miserable for his 'lack of both'.. the friends and the passion of a hobby????!
 
Angie4b1g said:
I had to lay down the LAW and I don't even work. My husband wanted to be up in my grill 24/7. I told him he needed to get a hobby. So he started running. Um... no, you need to get your OWN hobby. Finally, he started taking flying lessons. Now we have an agreement. He can go fly whenever he wants, and I can do what I want whenever I want. Happiness at last.
Click to expand...

Nice :D
 
Up in my Grill 24/7 .... mmmm, I can see that as a layout title soon! Thanks Angie! LMAO!!
 
I'm used to my dh working out of state most of the time, and I think he knows that I'm used to my "me time", so he never says anything. He's home now on disability too...As long as there is football on, I know he's being entertained and I don't need to be there with him. He knows I hate football and would never ask me to be in the same room with him if it's on. If he wants me in there, he knows he has to change the channel!
 
this is one thing my hubby and i have always had a pretty decent balance. usually when he complains, it's because i AM getting a bit too me-oriented and he brings me back to earth.

i know everyone communicates differently. can you just sit and talk to him about it? just tell him that this is your release after having so many responsibilities during the week? i guess that might be a tricky topic to approach though... he may take it as a personal accusation that he doesn't 'do' enough... i know my guy would feel like that if he were unable to get out and work and support us. i could be way off base, but maybe it's really an insecurity of his that's talking rather than that he doesn't want you to have something you enjoy. maybe just try to be extra encouraging to him and tell him how important to he is to you. guys need to feel needed... maybe he is just worried that you don't need him for anything?
 
Maybe he could help out some around the house while you're at work?? Do a little light cleaning, a load of laundry or two, cook dinner once a week...then you'd have more free time to hang with him and watch a show or a movie, and have a little time left over for you to scrap or read?

I laid down the law early on in our marriage, so we've never really had this issue. I told him right off..."If I cook, you clean the kitchen. If you stop cleaning, I stop cooking." lol. He also gives the boys their bath every night. (Which I'm pretty sure your boys are old enough to bathe themselves. lol) Since he's usually home late, he loves that that is "his" time with them each day. I love it because while he's bathing them and cleaning the kitchen, I have time to read or scrap or whatever I want. Usually about two nights a week, I'll put it all away after the boys are in bed and we'll watch Big Bang or Friends re-runs. That way he still feels important too.

Good luck with finding balance.
 
DH has his 'whiney' moments but I've got the computer in the same general area so while he watches his hunting shows, sports, etc...I can still kinda watch TV and still have a conversation with him so we're in the same room.
 
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