Storyboarding - I need mom help!

[talktoheather]

So i have totally gotten into storyboarding. But I need some feedback. I get feedback from my instructors, but they are not moms. So here is your chance, let it rip. I'm trying to finish up my portfolio before my big show. eek.

Background: Family friend (I was a flower girl in their wedding). Photographed on a HOT! Sunday evening, 45 minutes in total. Kids ages 10, 8, and 5. I brought them a box of chalk and we drove to the park.

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For larger images, you can visit my gallery here.

So ... what do you like? What do you not like? What works? What doesn't work?
and I guess one of the biggest questions, would you hire me as your photographer?


Thanks so much in advance!!!