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shoulda coulda woulda | pad patter 7.23.19

keepscrappin

keepscrappin

ScrapWithTheWind
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Apr 2, 2010
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shoulda coulda woulda... I'm always sayin we shoulda done that, or I wish I woulda done it differently. It doesn't matter what it is, I'm always second guessing it. It drives my hubby crazy and he's always telling me to just let it be and stop stressing it. I on the other hand can't let it go and keep obsessing on how it coulda been.

So how about you? Are you a shoulda coulda woulda girl or a one and done gal?
 
I am most definitely a one and done girl. Back when I was younger, I had a little more of the shoulda coulda woulda, but I figured out that what's done is done, can't change it, so just move forward :)
 
I do the analyzing before the action. Once it is done, it is done...can't be changed so moving on is the best next action. Took a lot of years to learn that though!
 
I am prone to pre-decision over analysis. But the end result is, I rarely have regrets. I mean, until I get my time turner, what's done is done.
On the other hand, a colleague and I were talking yesterday about "the road not taken." I like my work, but I also know I would have enjoyed either psychiatry, or being a teacher. But, if I had become a psychiatrist, I'd probably be sitting here saying, "gee, maybe I should've gone to law school..."
 
I can definitely lean towards analysis paralysis if I'm not careful. That happens before the decision, though, not after. Once I've made the decision, I'm off to over-analyze the next one! :)
 
LeeAndra said:
I can definitely lean towards analysis paralysis if I'm not careful. That happens before the decision, though, not after. Once I've made the decision, I'm off to over-analyze the next one! :)
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This is me as well. DH, however, definitely falls into the "wish we had..." category. The two biggies that he brings up often are an investment program we had at work 20 years ago that with better timing we could have paid off our house and instead made no profit at all, and that when we had our house built, we could have had a 3-car garage instead of a 2-car for an extra $3500, a suggestion he rejected outright and now deeply regrets. :giggle
 
Oh my gosh - am I a shoulda coulda woulda gal!! I'm trying to change that, but I relive past mistakes over and over again.
 
LeeAndra said:
I can definitely lean towards analysis paralysis if I'm not careful. That happens before the decision, though, not after. Once I've made the decision, I'm off to over-analyze the next one! :)
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Analysis paralysis I like that, and it's definitely me especially with bigger decisions.
 
gonewiththewind said:
I did a lot more questioning my actions and motives and might have beens when I was in my 20's and 30's. Not so much in my 40's, although I still do it. I think in my 50's it will even be less!
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I have noticed that I don't question as much as I used too but I definitely go through spurts where I question everything and have analysis paralysis. Right now is one of those with so much going on this summer with our son's wedding and all our other kids' stuff.
 
Kayla, I will say that I relive awful embarrassing, humiliating moments A LOT, so much so that it was starting to disrupt my sleep. I had to really find other things to think about. Like really, digging stuff up from elementary and middle school age as well. Like why did I say this or that, or if I fell, how embarrassed I was, etc. So it's not a woulda coulda shoulda about a decision, but rather an event or situation that just happened . . . and that I'm sure nobody else remembers with quite the same humiliation I do.

I started an affirmation journal, and it has really helped me to start replacing the negative messages that have been on repeat for so many years. I feel positive that I will overcome this!
 
gonewiththewind said:
Kayla, I will say that I relive awful embarrassing, humiliating moments A LOT, so much so that it was starting to disrupt my sleep. I had to really find other things to think about. Like really, digging stuff up from elementary and middle school age as well. Like why did I say this or that, or if I fell, how embarrassed I was, etc. So it's not a woulda coulda shoulda about a decision, but rather an event or situation that just happened . . . and that I'm sure nobody else remembers with quite the same humiliation I do.

I started an affirmation journal, and it has really helped me to start replacing the negative messages that have been on repeat for so many years. I feel positive that I will overcome this!
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oh yes, I relive awful moments the most. I'm always catching myself reliving an event or situation that just happened and having to remind myself to focus on something more positive. I'm working on rewiring my thoughts to be more positive from the get go.
 
keepscrappin said:
oh yes, I relive awful moments the most. I'm always catching myself reliving an event or situation that just happened and having to remind myself to focus on something more positive. I'm working on rewiring my thoughts to be more positive from the get go.
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It's so hard, when I've been responding this way for so many years, but I'm determined. Sending positive vibes and praying for you!
 
It totally depends on what it is. I’m a fairly decisive person when It could comes to 90% of things, but I’m definitely not immune to second-guessing myself.
 
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