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Scrapping a loss

MrsEm

MrsEm

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Sep 10, 2014
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I've been gone a long time and I wasn't here for very long before I got crazy busy buying a new home, moving, and then I got pregnant with our third baby! Our very first girl! I think you turn back to old comforting habits when things go badly. I lost our baby in my second trimester recently and am having a difficult time coping.

Up until now I have scrapped almost exclusively happy, fun memories. Up until now that was nearly the only kind of memories we had. I'm not sure if it's my loss itself and the grief or being away from scrapping so long but I can't seem to figure out where to begin memorializing such a huge event.

If you've scrapbooked through a loss or grief maybe you can share some wisdom with me? I would even love suggestions for kits that lend themselves well to scrapbooking the stormy days of life.
 
Oh Emma I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I can't imagine how this must feel for you but I hope that our community can help you feel a little better with some love and support. I have friends tell me that scrapping the hard times can be really helpful to verbalise the feelings. So I thought maybe Art Journaling might be helpful and so I had a quick look in the store and the April Mixed Media Monthly would be something you might be able to work with. Laurie-Ann has a kit called When Skies are Grey, and Little Butterfly Wings has a kit called After the Rain which has some useful word art.

Scrapping isn't just about the good times, its about all the times in our lives and I think the community makes it that much better. I hope you will accept this virtual hug and I hope that we can help in some small way xx
 
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Emma, I'm so sorry. I too have had that type of loss, twice. I didn't scrap back then though. Last summer I was in an awful situation. Dalis told me to art journal, so I did. There were some very dark pages, maybe even scary. Eventually, I came through in a better place. I had to deal with every single hurt to be able to say goodbye & let go of the pain. TLP is a very loving community & I felt support everywhere. You don't have to share your pages, you can keep them just for yourself, like a diary. There may be happy pages in there too. You'll probably surprise yourself. Give all your feelings to the art. Take care my dear. I can tell you, 21yrs after my 1st loss, I do still think about her. 15yrs after my 2nd loss, I still think about it. Sometimes I'll suddenly remember that was the loss date or that would have been the due date. I acknowledge it, say thank you for the boys I have now & keep going. You will get through it.
 
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I haven't experienced loss this way, so I can't imagine how you feel, or even know of I could offer good advice. I can say, I've been scrapping my way out of a depression for months. Art journal has saved my sanity. However, so tips I learned specifically about journaling, which may be applied to any kind of scrapping:
1) hide your journaling, either partially or completely. Under a paper(s), paint, element, etc.
2) use a hard to read font, to keep it really hard for anyone to see what you're saying.

In these ways you can keep your feelings hidden, but it is still therapy. I have found that writing/typing it out helps me, but I don't think the entire digi community plus the rest of the online world needed to know exactly what I was saying. The story was only important to me. I hope you find some peace. :(
 
Emma I am so sorry for your loss.

My first thought was art journaling as well and I have found it very helpful for all of life's situations. The pages can be whatever you chose, dark, messy, happy, both--no rules , just putting it down however you need it. There are some great finds in the M3 area or Lynne-Marie and Sissy Sparrows have some great items in their stores as well.

Take care and know you are in my thoughts.
 
I feel your pain, having also lost two babies.
I haven't scrapped them, because it makes me feel too vulnerable.
Not everyone respects the emotions one pours out, making it illegible could work, or keeping it just for yourself would work.
The pain is real, even if no one else can see why you are sad. My two would be 23 and 21 and I still mourn for what could have been. Even though I still have three healthy children doesn't mean I don't miss what might have been.
The pain eases with time though, so hang in there. Treasure those lives that you share now and feel what you feel.
 
Oh Emma... I'm so sorry to read this and am so glad that you are here and wanting to scrap about all these emotions. I agree with what everyone else has said, you don't have to share the pages you create, but just journaling about it all from the joy of finding out you're having a girl to the horrible loss, it can certainly help to just get those feelings out. They will be different from day to day, but I pray that scrapping can provide you some comfort and help to get you through this loss.
 
So very sorry. Big hugs to you. Ditto to what everyone else has said. I can only imagine how difficult that is for you and your family. And if you don't want to mess around with trying to hide journaling, you could always spend some time physically writing in a journal and then scrapping or whatever works best for you. I haven't had a loss like yours, but I've doing a myriad of things during other rough times. Sometimes using quotes or song lyrics or poems helps as well. Hugs.
 
I am so very sorry for your loss, Emma. I cannot even begin to imagine the pain you are feeling.

Last year I lost my Mom, and while scrapping about her passing was difficult, it was therapeutic for me to put into words the emotions I was feeling. It does not really matter what form your pages take - you will know what works for you. I hope that you can draw comfort from scrapping or journaling about your loss.

Will keep you in my prayers. Hugs.
 
I am so sad to hear this. Do you have someone to talk to who has been through this. I have a friend in Minneapolis who is part of a group. I might be able to see if there is a support system where you are. So hard to go through. I could also find a couple links she has shared of women's stories if it's not too soon.
I don't have scrapping ideas really although if you want to PM me feel free. I can feel some percolating in the back of my mind. Or maybe you can find another way to pay tribute to her (one family planted a tree). Anyway i will be holding you in my prayers.
 
I am so very sorry for your loss, Emma. I can't really add anything to the great advice that the posters above have already given, just wanted to let you know that I feel for your loss.
 
Hugs, Emma! So sorry for your and your families loss! It's such a difficult and delicate situation. Everyone has such great advise, but getting out those feelings (each and every one of them) will help! Hugs!
 
There's some great advice here, I don't really have anything to add but just want to say I'm so sorry for your loss. Hugs sweetie :heartslub
 
Emma - I am so sorry for your loss. I miscarried my second pregnancy but it was very early, still I wondered how I failed, what went wrong and so many things dealing with the sudden hormone imbalance and still with one small happy child who was too young to understand. ...

I think Jess suggestion is the best. Scrap your feelings. Get them out there in images and words. You aren't required to share all those pages - they are for you, but I've found looking for that right color, expression, quote and design to express what I'm feeling very calming and often enlightening.
 
oh my goodness emma. i am so very sorry for your loss and all that you are feeling. one of our members bobbie, bjc is her user name here at TLP, has lost a grandson due to stillbirth and she is very active about talking about it and remembering. she does indeed scrap about it & this is just one of her pages:
https://the-lilypad.com/gallery/showphoto.php?photo=200713&title=olivers-5-k&cat=500
i would comment on one of her pages ... visit her gallery and try to connect with her maybe. she is a sweetheart and i bet she can help you.

(here is another ... i know she has few other AJ style pages but here is a more traditional style page about her loss:
https://the-lilypad.com/gallery/sho...=a-year-ago-we-said-hello-and-goodbye&cat=500)
 
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