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Partner Birthday?

bestcee

bestcee

In love with places I've never been to
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Dec 18, 2013
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I always feel like a total slacker when it comes to my husband's birthday.

He doesn't want anything. He claims he doesn't need anything. Sigh.

Do you do anything fun or cool for your partner's birthday?
 
I invited DH's parents down for a visit last year as a surprise for DH's bday. He'd been wanting to see them but I said "There's NO WAY anyone can visit soon. We just moved! [which was true] The kids are busy. I'm sorry but they can't come down." He pouted lol but I had secretly called and set up a visit with them in a few weeks as an early bday present.
That may not seem like a "wow, you really went above and beyond" gift but it is because... I don't exactly like my ILs. This visit was all for him, not for me (or even our kids), and DH knew that the visit would cost me greatly mentally/emotionally. Plus we'd just moved, so the last thing I wanted to do was tote my ILs around town. So that visit didn't cost me money but it still cost me big time, and DH knew it.
So instead of getting him something, why not get him an experience, so a gift of a memory, not a thing. Is there a place your guy has been wanting to check out, like a restaurant, go-kart place, golf (or other sport) place, etc? Or what about a locked-room experience? DH and I did one for a rare date night and we both loved it. IDK if there's one by you, but try Googling "locked room" or "escape room" and your town's name (or the name of a big city close by--more likely to have a place). And if you're like "What the heck is a locked room?" lol here's a quick rundown: You get locked in a room and you solve a series of clues to find the key to open the door. The ones I've seen all had an hour time frame; DH and I finished with 2 minutes to spare!
 
I always still make a special dinner and make or buy a cake. I keep mental notes on when he says he needs something. The kids make or buy him stuff. And that's his birthday. Low key. Just the way he likes it. And yes, he says he don't need anything but actuality, what he means is - don't make a huge deal about it. :)
 
John never wants anything either. Some years I honor that and do a card and dinner. Other years I plan something fun, it just depends on how creative I'm feeling. Two years ago it was a milestone birthday so I didn't want to totally let it go by without doing anything, but he really didn't want or need anything. So I got a hold of an old friend he hadn't seen for a while and arranged for them to spend the weekend with us. And then I planned cards with clues for a scavenger hunt type of day - he had breakfast with my stepdad, something else mid-morning, then his friend arrived at our house after lunch, and I got off early and met them at a winery for drinks, and then we went to dinner. He had a great weekend!
 
No, not really. We just go out to dinner. We really don't buy presents for each other too often. If we need or want something, we end up just getting it and then saying it's our birthday present.
 
since we've had kids, not really. last year and this year, i took the kids with me to Wal-Mart and let them shop for him. (Rory decides daddy must have legos, Kaydee says daddy must have a toy car... silly things).
We (the kids and I) make him cookies. I do try to make mental notes of things he's mentioned he'd like in recent history. My husband prefers lovey dovey to fancy and flair, so with him, he'll never tell me something he'd want for a gift specifically, but does sort of expect me to come up with something thoughtful. This is a huge pro and con of his personality. :giggle sometimes it's harder than others, especially if I've been super preoccupied with other things in the time between Christmas and his birthday.

The last year I remember doing a big thing was his 28th birthday... it was a month before Kaydee was born, and it was his last year as "just a man, not a dad" which I thought he'd be more upset about. I did a big thing of "28 things for your 28th birthday" or something like that. we did a stay-cation so as not to be in our apartment, I'd made him things, bought him things... being 8 months pregnant, it took quite a bit out of me.

next year, if I remember, I hope to get his friends together for a golf thing, probably. He's always complaining about how his friends never have time... so I hope I can get something planned for him around that. Maybe incorporate that into his monthly golf thing he's been doing for a few months... I'd just expand the usual guests to include a few other of his friends, the ones he misses, and hope they will come.
 
We have to much stuff in our lives so we tend to get things like concert tickets for presents. Other than that, I make him a cheesecake and lasagne for his birthday, his favourites.
 
Sigh. I know. He picked out his own birthday present this year. However, I buy him things unexpectedly from time to time like a new Kindle Fire on Amazon Prime Day. Our oldest son's birthday is the day before my husband's, so we always go out to eat for both birthdays at the same time. For his 50th, I threw him a surprise party, but he figured it out a few hours ahead of the event.
 
My husband is also in the "don't want or need anything" camp. It doesn't help that his birthday is mid-November, which seems to be prime craziness time academically with papers getting finished and getting ready for finals. He's always happy with dinner and a movie at home, and I normally bake a coconut cake for him, too.

lmccandless said:
Kevin's birthday is the day after Christmas so he pretty much always gets the shaft. LOL I try to do something special but it's usually not on his actual birthday.
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My brother's birthday is December 20th, and we've started celebrating his birthday the next March or June (at his request!).
 
Mine and hubby's birthday are 4 days apart. We usually just go somewhere nice for dinner, without the kids if they're home. Then I'll make a cake or we'll buy an ice cream cake. We don't do gifts or cards, and we're both o.k. with it.
 
Dinner and dessert and then usually something he has been wanting as a gift. It's rare that I can surprise him. I just try to make the day happy in small ways.
 
My hubby ALWAYS wants stuff and usually stuff I can't (won't) afford. :giggle He usually starts telling me things he wants about 6-8 weeks before his birthday. Lol. Then I'll get an email list complete with links. He's like a little kid. :)
 
My husband's birthday, my birthday and our anniversary are all within a week of each other & we are so practical. We usually decide ahead of time if & what we are going to get for our gifts. It's almost always something for the house, family or something we need...some years we have skipped the gifts if there were other things we needed the money for. This year he made me a picnic table for our porch & I bought him a grill...these are both things that we've had on our wish list since we've moved into the house. We also usually try to go for a long hike without the kids & then go out for dinner.
 
lmccandless said:
Kevin's birthday is the day after Christmas so he pretty much always gets the shaft. LOL I try to do something special but it's usually not on his actual birthday.
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My Aunt is Christmas Day, her mom was a Halloween baby, and her sister is a Valentine's baby. I think my mom was one of the only ones who never got the shaft in their family!

Karen said:
Then I'll get an email list complete with links.
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DH has an Amazon wish list, no email list needed!

I love so many of these ideas! I'm totally stealing some for next year!

I decided that maybe he was having a birthday weekend, so I didn't worry too much this year! He went out with a friend Friday, and to a Salmon Bake, munchkin stayed with Grammy so we slept in on Saturday. Then we went out with a friend for dinner. His mom gave him money to buy a nerf gun off his Amazon wish list. I was in charge of ordering it, so I upgraded it to the one he wanted more. And we went to his favorite lunch place, then a park walk and ice cream. Very low key. But next week we are headed to Las Vegas (he has a job interview), and he's making a list of what he wants to do while we are there.
 
As we have gotten older, this whole ''what to do for birthdays and Christmas and our Anniversary" has gotten much harder. I'm pretty sure we have everything. No sense junking up the place with more stuff... :eyeroll
It makes it a bit easier because our birthdays are ten days apart and our anniversary is right in the middle. One nice weekend event is good for all three. No gifts please. I also tell the kids this every Christmas Season - Daddy and I have everything, please do not give us stuff. - Now they combine effort and do some gourmet shopping and provide a nice basket of edible healthy snacks with a couple good bottles of wine. A nice stay-in date with a good movie and some munchies and wine - dedicated time together - priceless!. That's all you need.
I am starting to have a few too many large baskets though.... :giggle
 
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Lindzee said:
I also tell the kids this every Christmas Season - Daddy and I have everything, please do not give us stuff.
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That's how my parents are! So I've taken to creating a calendar or photobook for them. The calendar can be tossed, and I know the photobook is more 'stuff', but they seem to appreciate it since it's little and memorable.
 
My DH is a gamer, so I let him have one day where he invites friends over and they sit around all day playing strategic board games. If that doesn't work out we go out to dinner.

He comes from a family where holidays weren't a big thing, while I come from a family who celebrated everything. We didn't have much money, so we'd always do things like paint rocks or make something from the fabric in mom's stash. But there was always a present. DH doesn't care about all that. It took him years to understand that I like to receive something. It could cost $1 and I'd be thrilled.

He thinks it's all a scam. But I always make sure he has presents to open, usually something he needs - like clothes. Or something he doesn't need - like another board game... :cornfused
 
QuiltyMom said:
Or something he doesn't need - like another board game... :cornfused
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Haha this is my husband! I only get him a game if I've played it and enjoy it. But no board games for him this year.

My husband's birthday is Monday. I usually get him a small present or two, something outdoorsy, maybe a game, and we go out for dinner. I also get him some gourmet soda, which I never buy but he loves, so it's a special birthday treat.

But this year we're going backpacking this weekend, which meant lots of expensive supplies, so I said that's his main present. I did get him a National Park centennial t-shirt and a geocaching membership so he'd have something to open.
 
No we're more like Donna @djp332 He was so used to buying what he wanted whenever in his first marriage that there's really nothing he wants that he doesn't get. I will make him his favorite posole dinner and maybe a rich dessert but he gets that pretty often during the year. I had asked him about a big family get together when he turned 75 and he almost blanched at the thought of it. So it was just a normal day but with calls from his three children and a couple of cards.

He did organize a dinner for me for my 60th and it wasn't terribly well planned so I felt bad for the guests. I never hinted for another one! I get what I want every week (surprise! digi stuff) and every few years I get a new iMac. For that we do go to the Apple store together. :funfun Actually it is fun because he always asks...Are you sure you need that much memory???
 
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