Pad Patter: 11/4 Daycare/Babysit?

[AnneofAlamo]

I might vent here. I am mom to 7, I homeschool 3 of them (one 1st grader and 2 high school). I am forever having people call and ask (last minute) can you watch my (insert children) today. My babysitter is sick, gone..yada yada. It is only for 9 hours? If you don't watch them, I have to call in to work, or I will lose my job, or not get paid.....
I always say no.
Then I waddle in guilt.
I feel taking a child because they are working is not my responsibility?
I am working too...just not getting paid cash.

So.......................
your opinion?

just to add, I do NOT want to get into a money situation with friends paying for daycare to me, because I don't want to do daycare. lol

 

[MrsEm]

You're awesome! 7 and homeschooling 3!

I stay home with my 2 boys (2 years and 9 months). My husband's siblings all started having kids at the same time, to the point that my older son has 2 cousins both less than a year older than him. But I'm the only stay at home mom.

I get asked from time to time and almost always say no. I don't work so that I have the freedom to take my kids out when I want to, let them nap when they want to, etc. We lose that freedom when I become someone's babysitter.

The biggest part of it is really that I know if I say yes then it becomes an assumption that I'll always do it. This may have more to do with my inlaws than anything else, though.

 

[AnneofAlamo]

The biggest part of it is really that I know if I say yes then it becomes an assumption that I'll always do it.

yes yes and yes...I have told really really great friends no, and if I say yes to another it will be like pulling my finger out of the dike, and I will be inundated with children (not mine all around my house), I will go to the looney bin and then my children will be without their mom! bhahha

 

[Dalis]

Don't feel bad, they are not your children nor your responsibility. Today, I took Bianca with me to work. My sitter was sick, so I showed up with her at work. Plus, 9 hours. I sometimes have trouble taking care of my child for 9 hrs. That's a full day!!!!! I have really awesome neighbors, and we sit for each other for EMERGENCIES. Only until the next patent shows up, which is usually within 2 hrs due to traffic.

 

[SmallMoments]

Oh my goodness!! I would NEVER have the gumption to ask someone who homeschools to watch Luke if he were sick!!! ACK!! Don't feel badly for saying no! You are working! And "only" 9 hours... holy cowser!

 

[KarenW]

"Only 9 hours" - I don't think so! I would feel too guilty asking and would fully expect to be told no - I am happy to do a few hours after school but the first time you say yes to a full day, then you would forever be asked.

Homeschooling is your workplace and no one would think to ring a teacher to ask to take a random child to school with them, don't feel guilty (and we all know saying "no' is one of the hardest things to do)

 

[Karen]

Aw Anne, it shows how sweet you are that you feel guilty about saying no. But, definitely it is a slippery slope. I found this out the hard way over the last few years. When my youngest started kindergarten I asked at work if I go switch my hours to going in really early and working through lunch, so I can get off at 3:00 and pick my kids up from school. I am super blessed that they said yet. So, now I'm off at 3:00 and my friends started asking if I could take their kids home for them too. It started as just a one time thing and then before I knew it I had 7-8 kids to take home and sometimes had too many to fit in my van and was taking somedays two trips from school to get them all home. THEN I started having moms ask if I could just take them home with us for a little while until they got off work. Again, this started as a one time thing and then pretty soon I had kids at my house many days a week and then the parents started forgetting to come pick them up!! Ugh. It was a super big mess and I had absolutely no time to do things with my own children because of it. I was being taken advantage of BIG TIME and finally this year I had to put my foot down and tell ALL of them that I couldn't do it anymore.

 

[jaye]

Anne, do not feel guilty!! I believe if you did it once it would become expected. When mine was little and sick I would call in ill if I had to.

As for people not dumping their kids off on a teacher...I spent 20 years in the elementary panel before moving to secondary and we had many little ones too ill to be at school but parents had no one to watch them so they dropped them off. Spent quite a few days over the years with sick littles sniffling, sneezing and snorting in my office.

 

[jenn mccabe]

i feel your pain ... bc i am home ... i am always the one expected to do the driving/picking up/after school activities. i am happy to help but there are times when the other moms ARE available and they only pick up their kid and don't reciperate at all. most of the moms are cool and help when they can, it's the ones that expect it and never offer up their car to help, that grate my last nerve.

my situation is tiny compared to being asked to babysit all day. that is not fair. they should look into finding a reliable backup (college kid, hired nanny, etc) for days when their kid is sick or whatever. that is never fair for someone to put on you. don't feel guilty. like Jaye said ... they would come to expect it and abuse it if you said yes even once. good for you ...

 

[LeeAndra]

This very situation has happened to our next door neighbor, and she is too nice to say something abt it now, but is not happy with how things have come abt.

There are four houses in a row on our street (including ours) that have 5 kids all around the same age: 2 kindergarteners, 1 first grader, and 2 second graders. Two of the four moms work first shift, and the third (the next door neighbor I'm referring to) works third shift. She has become the unofficial carpool mom and shuttles all those kids (except for mine) back and forth to school every day. Even though it's silly for us to both go back and forth to the same school when we live next door to each other, there are also other times when I need the flexibility to have DD on my own timetable, rather than the carpool schedule, or want to run errands immediately after school that I wouldn't be able to do. I also don't want to impose on her when she already has 4 kids that she is running around in her vehicle. I've never even asked because I don't want to be 'that mom.'

This neighbor is too nice to say anything, but now that one of the other moms has asked her to watch one of the other kids after school a couple days a week (along with pickup and dropoff every day, too), maybe she will finally lay down the law.

You gotta do what you gotta do, Anne.