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Maybe a little morbid....

I do have all my online information in an excel spreadsheet. I use it often because I just don't remember all those different passwords. I just need to figure out who needs to know about it.

After completing the Dave Ramsey Financial Peace University course, I put together a "Legacy Box" where all my important information is. After Dad passed away I did update my will and other legal stuff but I have never updated the Legacy Box. Need to do that.

I was sorry to read about Dawn and being a former accountant and having done accounting work for small companies that had the owner pass away unexpectedly, my first thought was again the business side of her life. After seeing how up in the air things were when Amber passed because she had nothing in writing about her business, I hoped that Dawn had thought of that.

I encourage all the designers here (and elsewhere) and anyone else with a business of any kind no matter how small to put your wishes about what happens to the business in writing NOW. It may seem like a small thing but it really isn't. Had Amber had things set up, her shop could have gone on for awhile longer with any earnings going to her survivors. I've seen many people over there that just did not have the money to buy all they wanted in a 30 day period yet they may have been able to find the funds over a period of 6 months or so.

A will is a must for anyone no matter how little you think you have. I encourage everyone that doesn't have one to do it. Don't let someone else decide what happens to everything you have worked hard for all your life.

@bestcee thank you for starting this thread as the thoughts about how the designers need to protect their businesses have been swirling in my head since Amber died. Dawn just added to it for me.
 
My apologize - my answer was short and sounds hard some posts earlier. I'm still shocked. I was in Dawn's CT for over two years but I have known her longer. I just found her emails with her lovely words and thoughts for me when I got the diagnosis. With tears in my eyes.... I can't believe it...
 
My bestie is a 'retired' digi scrapper so she would know where online to announce my passing & could access my Shutterfly account to print off my books for my kids if necessary.
 
Not morbid at all @bestcee Courtney. It is a real issue. No one ever thinks about their own mortality unless they are sick, and truth be told we cold get into an accident or be in the wrong place at the wrong time at any given moment.

While the cliche is real about never going to bed mad at your significant other, or always telling someone you love them before you or they leave the house to go out, this is something that also needs to be brought up so you do not have those "I wish I had said...., or I wish I would have told _____ I loved them."

I will not forget after leaving a party fr my Aunt and Uncle, I forgot to say goodbye to my brother as we were going to be leaving to go home in the early hours of the morning. It is only the two of us now and I was crying as I forgot to say goodbye and called him at midnight to tell him I was sorry and that I loved him. Anything could have happened on our ride home and it was a long time before I saw him in person again. I was so glad that nothing happened.

I am a melanoma survivor and it is a real thing that I always think of always to have no regrets and to always tell the other people in your life how you feel as we never know when our time is up.

My husband knows I am here at the LilyPad.. also too I do stuff with my HS alumni so FB would definitely have the info if there is forbid an issue. Just know as many have said before me here in these threads, I love you all. We have all found unique friendships and I am thankful and blessed to share this wonderful hobby and know you all not only from our posts but the pages we post in the galleries.

Dawn is part of that. One of many who design and create wonderful art for us to document our special moments. Heaven has received a new Angel. We all were not ready for her to leave us and have a gaping hole in our hearts, but she will be with us and smiling that we still continue to use her art. Tears have been flowing on and off since I first heard yesterday morning. My love thoughts and prayers to her husband Paul and daughter Carly. I hope they know how much this industry loved her and her art.

You never know how many lives you touch. Be the best you can be and as Courtney said, have everything documented so that those you leave behind on top of their grieving, will have an easier time with handling the other aspects of your life.
 
@*gina* when I read your first post, I didn't think it sounded short. I thought "She has this figured out already. Good for her!" The original post basically asked whether anyone has handled the not-fun task of telling others their wishes for their "legacy." People have chosen to answer in practical ways (like me) or in more emotional ways. No response, including yours, has been wrong. I think your response wasn't "hard" but it was simply stated because you had already dealt with the original post's main question.

I'm sorry about your cancer diagnosis. That must have been a shock. And I'm also sorry that you're grieving Dawn's loss. She was so kind here in the forums.
 
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@Tree City - thank you so much for your kind words. Yes, first it was a shock. I am a fighter but also a realist. At that point I didn't know which direction I had to go - only some month or the chance to fight it down. The "famous" 5 years aren't over but I am on a good way. So I think to myself it is not fair - Dawn passed away unexpectedly - there were no signs...
 
I've always appreciated that Tabatha would naturally know to handle these things for me. It's a benefit to having a sister in this industry. These are really thoughtful questions. <3
 
It's a very practical subject to bring up and one I really should put more thought into. Thanks for the reminder.

IntenseMagic said:
Years ago, my mother started her "red basket". It's a big red basket that is full of all things anyone would need to know "just in case".
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I'm intrigued by this idea. It seems to be a very light hearted, whimsical way to deal with a somber subject. Maybe I'm envisioning it differently than what it was... but I can see a lighter version of this being something I could wrap my head around and keep updated.
 
At 28 (well, almost 29), I think about this more than I probably should (it's probably the depression).

I know my Facebook would probably be covered, but I am a member of so many writing groups on Tumblr that no one really knows about. I met some of my closest friends through there and no one would tell them. I don't even know how to rectify that. Maybe I should friend more people on Facebook. I don't know.
 
I keep saying I will take care of this but never really do. I just talked to the hubby earlier this AM about getting a combined family binder so we each have everything we need should anything happen. I would definitely want my TLP family to know what happened ... and I'd miss each and everyone of you if you left.

@*gina* hugs and healing to you.
 
tkradtke said:
I'm intrigued by this idea. It seems to be a very light hearted, whimsical way to deal with a somber subject. Maybe I'm envisioning it differently than what it was... but I can see a lighter version of this being something I could wrap my head around and keep updated.
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Her basket is something like this:
download.jpg

It's fairly large, and anytime she gets anything important, she throws it in the basket and then calls to tell us that such and such document or thing is in the red basket. It has things like copies of documents, spare keys, bank info, insurance info, etc. She said that it was just better to have it all in one spot, in something that's easy to find. She has a safe deposit box where all the really important stuff is, but a key to that is in the red basket :) Red is her favorite color.
 
*gina* said:
My apologize - my answer was short and sounds hard some posts earlier.
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Like Sara said, you don't sound hard at all. Practical, yes. A lot of people I know that have been touched by cancer have a more practical viewpoint of death and preparations for death.
I'm glad you are on the recovery path. :grouphug
 
DH and I had a major ongoing argument about this early in our marriage when I started a binder to have a page for each on-line account I had back when the net was still new and a pw could be a short obvious thing. Dick repeatedly said he had all his PWs on his computer and I could find all of them there! :badmood1st of all he had to change his computer pw a lot since he did govt work and they required a change like every month. So how would I sign in to get all this crap??? and what if he had an auto accident and the old IBM Thinkpad was destroyed too?? we didn't do backups in those early days either. Grrr... I fussed, I cried and he dug his heels in.

In any case, after a lot of fussing on my part and irritation on his part, he finally put all of our info into a ...ugh ...table rather than a spread sheet. This was really important to me because with a lot of the travel that we did in those early years (2001 on) most of our bills became on line payments with various times etc. I never did get him to put it in a spread sheet and lazy me never did it myself. However now we do have most all of that info in a xxx that when one of us makes a change the other one's copy auto updates. It's not perfect and this does make me think I'd like it in a spreadsheet that is sorted the way I'd want to find the info. What we have now is just kind of random entries, i.e. TLP could be right above Verizon and then Adobe could be next. Another grrrr.

btw, when trying to find a pw in Mac's keychain this week, I saw how many variations there are for some accounts, mostly digital kinds of places. That too really needs cleaning up but I'll be darned if I know which ones to delete. So grrr 3. :banghead
 
A couple years ago one of our sons called and told us we needed to get our final wishes, will, and all that goes along with those things together. He literally called us and bugged us about it for about a month or so. Every few days he'd call and ask if we had done this or that and urged us to do so. It was a bit of a nerve wracking time as my husband had been having some pretty good health issues and I was already afraid we were going to lose him. But this son persisted and I keep collecting and putting everything together until he was satisfied enough that I knew what to do if anything happened. How I was going to take care of myself and my daughter, who also has health issues What I expected of my sons in the way of help, etc. So I now have this nice bin with a good lid sitting here with all of that information in it. Since then we have moved to a different state. So I need to update information. And the sooner the better.

As hard as that month or so was on my emotions and nerves, I am so grateful for that son bugging us to death! I felt a sense of security I hadn't felt before. Knowing what to do and how to do it gives you power and helps to take a good part of the fear away.

Anyway, in this box is my list of people to contact when I pass away. And my daughter will be the one who needs to do that.

We didn't do a will. We did like my parents did...asked each of our children what they would like to have out of all our belongings. Some things we chose for them based on their needs or for sentimental reasons. Like we have just the one daughter. So she gets my cedar chest that my parents gave me for my high school graduation, the baby cradle my Dad made for us that all of our babies slept in, a special clock we bought after all our boys were out on their own and she was there when we got it, etc. I have a list of everyone's requests. And when we got everything together I sent a copy of this list and our final wishes to each of the boys. They had a chance to look it over and say whether they agreed to it or not. We made a few changes based on their comments and suggestions and resent the list. My kids are good kids and I know they will abide by this list now. So we didn't feel the need to pay big time money for a will.

Anyway! That's what we did and it will work for us.
 
I've been telling my husband for years that we need a will. He keeps avoiding the subject like the plague. Not sure why? John doesn't do FB, or any social media at all.

But I gave my passwords to my daughter, so she would be the logical one to contact my online friends.
 
IntenseMagic said:
It's fairly large, and anytime she gets anything important, she throws it in the basket and then calls to tell us that such and such document or thing is in the red basket. It has things like copies of documents, spare keys, bank info, insurance info, etc. She said that it was just better to have it all in one spot, in something that's easy to find.
Click to expand...

Thanks for the explanation! I'm not really sure why, but this type of arrangement really speaks to me. I have thought for years that I should have a binder to keep things in, but the task was daunting because that's not my usual way to organize things. Keeping a basket like this in my office would be a great start. Maybe someday I'll do a binder.... but this way, when I'm ready, I'll have everything already gathered.
 
It's definitely something I've been thinking about since Amber passed away, and now with Dawn's passing, the urgency to take care of not only business things, but personal things has leveled up.

I believe between my hubby and two children, they would know who to contact and how, but I really would like it spelled out neatly for them, so they don't have to scramble around and guess.
 
bbymks5 said:
I'm more of lurker, collect information and maybe share tid bits here and there, so no real connections with anyone for me.
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Maybe I'm reading this wrong, but I thought we had a real connection. Not that I talk to you every day, but I think you are funny and I love seeing your pages and peeks into your life. I definitely want someone in your family to let us know if something happens.

MrsEm said:
I don't think I would be missed here
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Yes, you would be missed! TLP has this amazing way of just bringing you into a family atmosphere, so if you're here, you're family!
 
Jan said:
So we didn't feel the need to pay big time money for a will....We didn't do a will.
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Wills are actually pretty cheap. Honestly, after watching so many families become divided because there is no will, I think everyone should have one. Having everything written down is great, but depending on your state, not having a will can really complicate things for your children. Both our parental units have a will, and it gives us peace of mind. My mother in law has a medical power of attorney, and that gives her, and us, peace of mind. If your children already know how you want things divided, and who will take care of your daughter, a will is just the legal paper and won't have any surprises. My grandmother was pretty clear in her wishes, but there was no will. Half her wishes did not happen because 9 emotional children were involved.

I hope this comes across okay! It is said with the utmost love and respect.
 
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