I am at my wits end!

[RebeccaH]

My son Isaac is the sweetest little boy in the whole world.... when he's not upset. He has a huge heart and would give anything to anyone, super sweet. But he has like an instant flip switch that happens... whenever he gets mad or frustrated, instead of a normal response, he just goes off the charts. screams, yells, says just mean-spirited things to be hurtful. what the heck? how does a kid flip like that? i just don't know how to help him learn a new response... not sure why he does this, i'm just at the end of my rope. wish i knew what to do!

 

[crazygirl]

how old is he rebecca?
my son is kind of the same way.
if things don't go his way.
watch out!

he's kind of ALWAYS been like that....
but it's been really bad the last year.
(he's 11)

he's super sensitive, but if he doesn't like what he hears
he hates the world and thinks the world hates him.

i've heard it's just that age.
(something to do with puberty. LOL)
my oldest is 14 -and a girl...her moodiness i get..
HE is foreign to me.

i've found if i give him a job to do.
something that i wouldn't normally let him do.

(like today i had him help me put together my new chairs cuz dad wasn't here. he loved that. and was super sweet to me for the entire time -it took about 2 hours. LOL)

i'm sure it will pass. i'm HOPING it passes.
he is an amazing student and excellent in sports.
he doesn't have too many friends and there are NO boys his age in our neighborhood.
that is hard for him.

i've tried everything..........from ignoring the behavior to disciplining it to rewarding the good things he does.........
nothing has worked except for praise........but he still has a hard head.

he's a teaser tormentor to his little brother and older sister........
but the little brother is a squealer and whines so i'm sure he is super fun to tease.

 

[4noisyboys]

I feel for you girls. I have one that is the exact same way. He's 22 now, but is still the one with the sweetest heart, and when he's feeling good about himself, or is just having a good day...he is wonderful to be around. He is bipolar though and is on medication...and lately the meds aren't working as well. We've had a rough week and it's like we have to walk on eggshells.

{{{HUGS}}} to both of you.

 

[RachelYoung]

I have one like that too. She's 11. I hope we make it to 12. She's always been like that though and after calms down from her huge melt down, she feels terrible for the things she's said.

 

[1girl1boy]

My Camden is the exact same way. at 3 1/2 (and the fact that he's a red head) i know it's a phase he's going through. but heaven help me, making it through this phase make be the death of me. i wish i had advice for you, but all i can do is empathize.

 

[RebeccaH]

isaac is 7 now. he really started showing this behavior around 3-yrs. when we were potty training him, he didn't want to go sit on the toilet, so he went buck nuts, threw the toilet lid open and broke off a chunk of the porcelain... wth? i too have tried everything i can think of. i find that a couple things work....

- keeping him challenged and occupied. He is super inteligent and has done really well in school academically (he just finished 1st grade, but his teacher pulled him out of his own class during reading and science and put him in a class with 2nd and 3rd graders, etc) so boredom sets in quickly for him. a bored, moody kid is a bad combo.
- keeping sessions of play time to a limited time - it seems he can take so much and then he just starts throwing junk around, esp if he's playing with other kids... kind of like a patience work-out or something. work the muscle a little at a time and build up to more i guess is the only way i can describe it. ???
- love. responding to him in love - with patience and kindness - is the only way i ever really have success getting through to him.

unfortunately, it seems i can't keep these things forefront in my mind when he flairs up, and i just sort of get exasperated instead of staying calm and being deliberate and intentional with the things i do with/for him. uggh. then I feel aweful when i get frustrated at him, because i know he doesn't mean to really. blah

it DOES make me feel TONS better to know that so many people are dealing similar things. sometimes i feel like it's just MY kid, ya know?

 

[la]

oh goodness..! :[
I can commiserate also-- ce has ptsd due to some trauma he experienced-- his behavioral swings have been intense to say the least. I think you've got a good game plan etc- it's just a matter of sticking to it. I know in the heat of the moment everything just goes woosh and you just end up being like wtf?! .. It's so tough being a parent some days :[
Keeping on task/occupied etc is super important i think. We have intensely mom is ocd schedules (lol) that work wonders to help kidlet.

 

[cherryberry]

I feel for you Rebecca. I have 2 boys (2.5 and 6) and most days I feel like this by lunch time. With my oldest, I thought it was just the terrible twos and then the treacherous threes, and then the fearsome fours and the frightful fives but now we're at six. I'm wondering when it will get better. Hang in there. I think we all go through this at certain stages. I've heard raising boys is hardest in the younger years and raising girls is harder in the teen years. I'm hoping that that is true and I can look forward to smooth sailing teen years. At least that's what I tell myself so I can wake up each morning with a smile. LOL