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How do you define love? | Pad Patter 05.10.21

gonewiththewind said:
I didn't pick The Notebook as an example, but I've always felt that Allie's family, her mother in particular hiding a year's worth of letters, were the influence that kept Allie away from Noah and made a path to another man. I disagree that Allie didn't have any thought about her love for Noah and how it would feel for her fiancee to know about that love. She was clearly conflicted.

To me, this is a love story because of the love Noah shows for her as she struggles with illness and losing her memories. Yes, the beginning of their story was passionate, but at the end, it was two people deeply loving one another and being willing to be there for the hard times.

Just my two cents. It's not my favorite movie because it does make me cry every time. LOL
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Thank you for this explanation. I can see it a little clearer now. When I watched this movie, we were having problems where my husband was being pulled back into a long-lost love who held a torch for him for 28 years, and re-appeared in our lives. I'm SURE that colored my opinion of Allie cheating on her then fiancee´with Noah and souring my opinion of their "soul mate" bit. I personally believe soul mates are created when you marry and become one body - so you cannot "miss" your soul mate - it's created by your love and your commitment in marriage. It's that Christian mystical "one body" now thing.

Maybe I'll watch it again and try to see it with fresh eyes.
 
bestcee said:
I don't know that they are a model, but I appreciate the fact they are still together years later. The story feels more complete than most movies because you see the lust driven beginning, and the love driven ending. The idea of visiting someone everyday to help them remember takes a lot of dedication and love. Yes, they had a rocky beginning. And yeah, she walked away from one man for another. It's been awhile but I believe it was before they got married? Which is also a form of love. Letting someone go when you know your heart is torn. She could have married him, but would she be comparing him to Noah the whole marriage? Would she end up leaving him for Noah?

Idk. There's something sweet about a long love. It's similar to how I feel about Up and the depiction of their long love. So often someone dies young in movies to move the story along, like Remember Me. That movie kinda bugs me. I know lots love it, but meh.
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It's easier to just copy-paste as I'll probably be saying the same thing! LOL

Thank you for this explanation. I can see it a little clearer now. When I watched this movie, we were having problems where my husband was being pulled back into a long-lost love who held a torch for him for 28 years, and re-appeared in our lives. I'm SURE that colored my opinion of Allie cheating on her then fiancee´with Noah and souring my opinion of their "soul mate" bit. I personally believe soul mates are created when you marry and become one body - so you cannot "miss" your soul mate - it's created by your love and your commitment in marriage. It's that Christian mystical "one body" now thing.

Now "Remember Me"? I'll have to look that up. I don't think I"ve heard of it.

Maybe I'll watch "The Notebook" again and try to see it with fresh eyes.
 
I've never believed in soulmates, but I totally see how your explanation would change the movie!

Remember me: Sorry! Wrong title. It's "Return to Me". I shouldn't TLP and talk to my husband at the same time. Lol! It's the one with Minnie Driver and the heart.
 
bestcee said:
I've never believed in soulmates, but I totally see how your explanation would change the movie!

Remember me: Sorry! Wrong title. It's "Return to Me". I shouldn't TLP and talk to my husband at the same time. Lol! It's the one with Minnie Driver and the heart.
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Oh baby - you and I are opposites there!!! I adore that movie!!!! The only part that was painful for me was to see David Duchovney try to cry. He is not good at it.
 
@FarrahJobling What are "Table Topics"?

I didn't think of anything upon first reading the question. It's too personal; different for each of us. And there are different kinds of love depending who the loved ones are.

Also I have a bad memory for movies and books so would be hard pressed to come up with an example other than my own personal loves.

Then I read @dotcomkari 's reply (the 13th). That's what I'd say! :D

I also like the quote Courtney shared, which I'd never heard before. It certainly explains what's important to me in relationships, spending time together and trust.

bestcee said:
. . .
I also love Michelle Obama's quote about love: "I always thought love was up close. Love is the dinner table, love is consistency, it is presence." That sums it up for me. No matter if it's friend love or child love or romantic love, love is presence and consistency.
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@cfile That's awesome to have known your husband since age 6. That's basically always. I don't remember anything before the age of 6 anyway.
 
Pachimac said:
I am not trying to be contrary or rude here. I have an honest question. What makes "The Notebook" characters a model? I've watched the movie 3x and I just don't get it. It seemed juvenile and passion-driven - no thought to who/what their love could/would hurt. I thought maybe it was because of the times I was in when I watched it...could someone help me out here?

For full disclosure - I'm a total romantic blubbering fool. I live on Hallmark movies and Rom Coms. I just don't get the Notebook.
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We should all be so lucky to have someone love us soooo completely that they build a home and then dedicate it for Alz patients and then come every day to tell a "love story" that was their own and play the piano, just hoping for one second of recognition. I'm not saying that The Notebook *should* define love for anyone...it was just an example and I cried my eyes out when they both died.
 
Pachimac said:
The definition of love that I am stuck on lately is the selfless acts that my father in law did to take care of my MIL as she was suffering from Alzheimer's, and then to see his pain AND joy at remembering the 61 years they had together. She died last year, but he's still the loving husband and model of sacrifice for me - which to me is true love.
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ummmmm.....isn't this the whole point of the Notebook?
 
dotcomkari said:
I think there are many different types of love..
and each one is uniquely different..

that is romantic love.. where your feel all mushy and butterflys fly in your stomach when your next to someone and you feel like your in a whole other world.. with them..

than there is friendship love.. like the you would bend over backwards for this person.. and you truly care about them and miss them when you are away from them.

And love for the family.. like your child.. you would die for them.. give them the last scraps of your food if they were hungry..

Love for your dog or animal...
and love for your nation.. or your city..

Love isn't defined .. it is multiplied.. *L*
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I really LOVE this....and I left it relatively open on purpose...there's no wrong answer and there are lots of ways to love <3 I love that you summed it up as "love isn't defined...it is multiplied"
 
bestcee said:
Outside of immediate family/friends, I've always admired Rita Wilson and Tom Hanks. They have worked as a team to let each one have a career, while still putting family first. I also love how Blake lively and Ryan Reynolds tease each other, but you see the love. Dax Shepard and Kristen Bell are a great example of supporting each other in bad times.
I also love Michelle Obama's quote about love: "I always thought love was up close. Love is the dinner table, love is consistency, it is presence." That sums it up for me. No matter if it's friend love or child love or romantic love, love is presence and consistency.
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GREAT quote and I also love the examples you gave of celeb couples...I also love how BL and RR always tease each other and have fun with each other.
 
gonewiththewind said:
I didn't pick The Notebook as an example, but I've always felt that Allie's family, her mother in particular hiding a year's worth of letters, were the influence that kept Allie away from Noah and made a path to another man. I disagree that Allie didn't have any thought about her love for Noah and how it would feel for her fiancee to know about that love. She was clearly conflicted.

To me, this is a love story because of the love Noah shows for her as she struggles with illness and losing her memories. Yes, the beginning of their story was passionate, but at the end, it was two people deeply loving one another and being willing to be there for the hard times.

Just my two cents. It's not my favorite movie because it does make me cry every time. LOL
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Ditto... I feel the same way about the movie... I really like it and I cry everytime I watch it!!! @FarrahJobling this is a perfect example. Also I love that he wrote everything down and re read it to her every day to try and spark that memory so she would have some moments of knowing who she and Noah were. It really is a beautiful love story. Well explained, Cheryl! Thank you!
 
I remember reading the Notebook when I was about 23 and a very serious relationship of mine was ending and it gutted me then. It actually made me realize that the guy I was with didn't really care that much about me and it was time to get out. I don't think it would affect me the same way now though which is funny.

I'm trying to think how to even answer the question and it's impossible for me to articulate. Lol. Loved reading through this post though.
 
FarrahJobling said:
We should all be so lucky to have someone love us soooo completely that they build a home and then dedicate it for Alz patients and then come every day to tell a "love story" that was their own and play the piano, just hoping for one second of recognition. I'm not saying that The Notebook *should* define love for anyone...it was just an example and I cried my eyes out when they both died.
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FarrahJobling said:
ummmmm.....isn't this the whole point of the Notebook?
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I don't know if you read my responses to Bestcee and Cheryl, but I do understand it better though, and I think my real-life struggles when I watched it colored my ability to see it clearly. I'm truly sorry if I offended you in asking - I didn't mean to be upsetting at ALL. I truly could not see through my hurt lens.

Here's what I said:
Thank you for this explanation. I can see it a little clearer now. When I watched this movie, we were having problems where my husband was being pulled back into a long-lost love who held a torch for him for 28 years, and re-appeared in our lives. I'm SURE that colored my opinion of Allie cheating on her then fiancee´with Noah and souring my opinion of their "soul mate" bit. I personally believe soul mates are created when you marry and become one body - so you cannot "miss" your soul mate - it's created by your love and your commitment in marriage. It's that Christian mystical "one body" now thing.

Maybe I'll watch it again and try to see it with fresh eyes.
 
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