How are you handling Newtown?

[lmccandless]

It feels like a very somber day for most of us, I think, after the tragedy in Newtown. As a mother, my heart is beyond broken for those families and that community and, ultimately, for what events like this mean for our country. For those who feel comfortable, I hope that you will share your thoughts here as we all struggle to come to grips with it.

Did you share the Newtown events with your kids? Did it impact your decision to send them to school today? Did your school make changes to their security as a result?

DH and I talked to our girls about it this weekend as best we could...definitely a hard conversation. I will admit that I felt anxious about sending them to school today, but I also feel like they need their normal routine as much as possible. My youngest daughter is 6 years old, like so many of the little angels that were lost. She was up during the night with the stomach flu, so she is home today after all. I will admit that I feel some relief to have her with me. In my community, this has jump started the long process of reevaluating our school security policies. I see that schools across the country have police protection today. I can see how that makes sense, but it's also very sad that we've come to that place as a culture. *sigh* It's so hard. I've cried a lot about Newtown and sent up countless prayers for the families. I think we have hard conversations ahead of us as a country. In the mean time, I know I will be holding my babies a little more tightly. I'm also trying to take a step back from watching/reading the news to give myself some time to process without being continually inundated. I am sure I'm not alone in that choice.

Sending out big hugs to all of you today!

 

[LeeAndra]

While it was unfolding Friday, I was at a work Christmas party in a local hotel bar. It was very surreal to be watching this horrifying footage while I was supposedly celebrating a year well done with my company and colleagues.

While I do believe in some forms of gun control, I don't believe that's the answer to this problem (I have seen so many gun control debates on FB this weekend). This boy was obviously disturbed and needed psychiatric help. Hopefully, the massacre will bring abt a lot more awareness of the millions of America who suffer in silence with 'invisible' illnesses like bipolarism, depression, etc. No sane person could shoot 6 year olds at point blank range multiple times; it's just not possible.

My DD is too young to understand and my SS was with his mother this weekend, so we did not talk abt it. I'm sure my SS will bring it up when we see him later this week. I will be curious to hear his take on it.

I've read enough so that I can be informed on the topic and made sure to read each of the victims' names and say a prayer for them, but I've been pulling back since yesterday once they started delving into the murderer. I don't want to give him any head space or any more 'glory' for what he did.

 

[mrspotts]

I used to teach school before becoming a mom. Hearing about this tragedy was very hard on me because of that. We did not choose to talk about this with our girls. It wasn't intentional, but we honestly ran out of time. This weekend was a go, go, go weekend. Our oldest (7) is the only one in school. She saw the wording on the news I was watching this morning and it said "school tragedy" She asked what tragedy meant. I briefly explained and I could see her little mind working about why a word like that would be associated with school. i wish I had taken a bit more time to talk to her about it, but she was heading out the door to school. Yes, I sent her to school. My husband and I have the mentality that we cannot live in fear. I'm sure if we lived closer to the tragedy though we might be thinking twice about sending her to school. As far as I know nothing has changed at our school as far security policies. Who knows though, my daughter may come home with papers stating there has been a change. I honestly hope that because this there is not a government mandate that comes out about security policies, but I hope that each school district will review their own policy and see if anything needs changed or upgraded. At this time we are praying for those family who have lost children and loved ones, and mourning for them. I wish I could do more, but I know I can't.

 

[Valoriew]

i have been feeling so unbelievably heartbroken and weepy.....just cant get past it.....

My Mia, also is 6 years old and it just tears me up thinking of those little ones having to endure what they did.....

I, too am feeling like i just want to hold my kids and keep them closer than usual....and ya, i admit to feeling hesitant sending Mia to school today, giving her a hug and kiss goodbye....

 

[Tree City]

DD is 5yo and goes to a private school. It only goes through Kindergarten, so we did NOT tell her about this. We usually have GMA on in the morning while getting ready for school, but today she got to watch cartoons. I didn't even turn the TV to ABC because I was afraid of what they'd be talking about/showing.
I'm going to paraphrase a psychiatrist who was on The View today (I know, such a riveting news outlet lol, but he had a good point!): guns have been around for a looong time. Mass shootings are a relatively new social tragedy. So, guns themselves aren't the problem. We as a society have got to stop glorifying violence in any form, including violent video games and movies. And we need to teach our kids compassion for others and responsibility for their actions.
I'm not trying to say that this is something easy with an easy solution. But I'm sick of reacting to these tragedies. I want to work on preventing them.

 

[Ronisdragon]

I am sad, very sad. I am heartbroken over the deaths, the senselessness,and the state of the nation we live in.Since Friday, I have spent the majority of every day watching the news. I know I need to turn off the news but it is hard. I am angry and frustrated. As someone with a mental illness, I know that appropriate support isn't always easy to come by. Without getting into my beliefs, hearing certain opinions on guns, even from members of my own family is making me extremely angry. I am going out but never without the thought that there could be a crazy person with a gun anywhere. I am struggling. I am hoping all of your children are ok and feeling safe. I just want all the kids in this country to feel safe.

 

[Jenn Barrette]

Not dealing very well. I am sickened by the media coverage on this; interviewing children on the scene, releasing info and identities so quickly, etc. I am taking some time off Facebook and from any news right now, because I just can't handle seeing it. I have been crying on and off about it, and every time I see another photo or story I start up with the teary eyes again. My oldest is 6 years old as well, so that makes it more real and difficult. I am just a little overwhelmed by it all.

 

[snaggletooth]

I am about 45 mins from where it happened. I never ever though it would hit CT. Ever. It did It hit me hard. I heard about it before the rest of the world did. I just do not think I will be the same after this. I really dont wanna say much more To raw still. I do not think this is the time for arguments on gun control, mental illness, or even parenting etc. Which is all over the news, FB, Twitter, even in the grocery store yesterday OY!. Not when people are high on emotion so I will NOT comments on that. I can't. I am happy I saw 3 police cars and the police were actually not sitting in them and they were guarding my sons school today.

 

[Mrivas]

I think it's too soon for schools to do anything about it yet but they should. There should be security at the school entrance to at least deter some of these things from happening. My heart was broken about this news, my daughter is the exact same age as many of those kids. It makes me sick to see photos of these kids whose lives was taken so young. It's sad to think that kids and faculty may never feel safe again. Also, I only live one state over so it feels closer to home.

 

[Celeste]

I lived in Sandy Hook, CT from the age of 15. I graduated from Newtown High School and until my mother died in 2000, I considered Sandy Hook home. I've been weeping on and off and not quite right all weekend. I feel for the victims, the families, and for my hometown - just devastated. It's just surreal to see the places that were so common in my teen years on the television. I'm trying not to watch the TV at all. I now live about 45 minutes away from Sandy Hook and I really want to drive down to pay my respects.

I talked to my boys (9&11) briefly and vaguely about what happened. I know other kids in school will be talking about it and I didn't want them to be unprepared. My 9 year old asked if it was ok to tell other kids he didn't want to talk about it. I told him that was just fine. I understand how upsetting this is to him. I tried to reassure both of them that this was not a commonplace occurence and that they should feel safe at school.

There was police presence this am at the schools at drop off and I'm sure pick up will be the same. I am not a political person at all, but I hope that there are decisions made in the near future about funding for mental health services and about gun control (access, type of weapons available, etc.) that help this not to happen again.

 

[snaggletooth]

There were 2 parents dicussing it in the open IN the school near the door to leave the school. WOuld it have been so hard to just open the door and take it outside. Sheesh!
If it helps you I think you should drive down and pay respects. You have lived there and it was home to you <3

I lived in Sandy Hook, CT from the age of 15. I graduated from Newtown High School and until my mother died in 2000, I considered Sandy Hook home. I've been weeping on and off and not quite right all weekend. I feel for the victims, the families, and for my hometown - just devastated. It's just surreal to see the places that were so common in my teen years on the television. I'm trying not to watch the TV at all. I now live about 45 minutes away from Sandy Hook and I really want to drive down to pay my respects.

I talked to my boys (9&11) briefly and vaguely about what happened. I know other kids in school will be talking about it and I didn't want them to be unprepared. My 9 year old asked if it was ok to tell other kids he didn't want to talk about it. I told him that was just fine. I understand how upsetting this is to him. I tried to reassure both of them that this was not a commonplace occurence and that they should feel safe at school.

There was police presence this am at the schools at drop off and I'm sure pick up will be the same. I am not a political person at all, but I hope that there are decisions made in the near future about funding for mental health services and about gun control (access, type of weapons available, etc.) that help this not to happen again.

 

[sparagus]

My kiddos are still too young to talk about it with. My oldest is 6, and we did not discuss it with her (or watch the news while she was awake). She's so sensitive as it is, and I don't ever want her to fear going to school.

However, my heart aches. I have honestly cried off and on since Friday, sometimes when I think of the fear those precious kiddos must have experienced, when I think of those who were there and survived, who have to return to life today and face the fear and anxiety, for the parents who had to get up this morning and remind themselves to breathe, for how fragile and frightening life can be...It hit me very hard when I saw that one of the little girls killed Friday shared the same exact birthday with my daughter.

Today, I'm so anxious and definitely ready for school to be over. I just want to keep my kiddos locked up safe and sound away from the evil in the world, as unrealistic as I know that is. :-(

 

[heathergw]

I'm in a funk... I've avoiding the media, not that I watch or follow the media much anyways... It happened while I was with the homeschool group watching the Nutcracker ballet and I didn't hear about it until I came home and turned on my computer to tell Dalis that Isaac was sick and we wouldn't be able to come over to build gingerbread houses. I was home for 15 minutes and had to take Isaac to the dr for another ear infection... I wasn't home until almost bedtime for the kids... my heart was empty, I'd been away from Asher all day and I missed him so much... I ended up laying in bed with the kids almost all evening just hanging with them until they fell asleep... then came down and did a little art journaling... I'm still in la la land, I think... there just aren't enough tears I can cry... today was a rough homeschool day, the boys were fighting and I just couldn't work with Moriah and decided screw homeschool today, I'm just gonna love on my kiddos... I'm just checking in on the computer here and there and working a bit on December Daily... but I'm about to go play tractor/monster trucks with my buddy during quiet time, and go paint my 6 year old's nails and have some girly time and just be thankful for every moment I have with them.

 

[Heather Prins]

It is just so terribly sad. I am hugging extra tight and am so so grateful to have my children.

 

[Angie4b1g]

I'm probably going to sound heartless or narcissistic but...

I try not to get too wrapped up in it. It's absolutely beyond tragic and sad, but it didn't happen directly to me, and life goes on. That sounds colder than it is, but I'm having a hard time expressing what I'm trying to say.

I'm absolutely angry that this happened, and sad for the families that it happened to. And we need to do something to stop it from happening again. I even started a knock down drag out fight on FB about gun laws. But it's not consuming my thoughts and I haven't cried about it. I guess I'm distant, I don't know. As upset as most of my FB friends seem to be, I'm wondering if I'm just heartless? Or do other people take things more personally than I do?

I guess I'm more of a take action person than a feel sad person. Because I'm wondering how I can get 1,000,000 people to join me on the steps of the White House to get stricter gun laws, when at this time last week I couldn't have given 2 hoots about the gun laws.

 

[dlhoffer]

It is just so terribly sad. I am hugging extra tight and am so so grateful to have my children.

Me too! It is just so unbelievably tragic.

 

[kim21673]

I have shed a lot of tears over this. As a former first grade teacher (kindergarten too) this has hit very close to home. I can't even begin to imagine what the teachers and those precious little children were going through. I have definitely been in a funk since hearing about this Friday morning. I have been trying to spend as much free time as I can with the boys...giving them many extra hugs and kisses.

I did discuss with my own first grader this morning their lockdown drills they have at school. He told me about what they do when there is a fire, tornado or when a "mean person" comes in the school. He went in to detail about where they go and what they can/can't do during a lockdown. So sad that this even has to be discussed with a 6 year old.

 

[Lynnette]

I'm probably going to sound heartless or narcissistic but...

I try not to get too wrapped up in it. It's absolutely beyond tragic and sad, but it didn't happen directly to me, and life goes on. That sounds colder than it is, but I'm having a hard time expressing what I'm trying to say.

I'm absolutely angry that this happened, and sad for the families that it happened to. And we need to do something to stop it from happening again. I even started a knock down drag out fight on FB about gun laws. But it's not consuming my thoughts and I haven't cried about it. I guess I'm distant, I don't know. As upset as most of my FB friends seem to be, I'm wondering if I'm just heartless? Or do other people take things more personally than I do?

I guess I'm more of a take action person than a feel sad person. Because I'm wondering how I can get 1,000,000 people to join me on the steps of the White House to get stricter gun laws, when at this time last week I couldn't have given 2 hoots about the gun laws.

Angie, I think I get what you are saying. In the past this is the way I have reacted to similar shootings... I'm generally not a very emotional person.
This situation, however, has been VERY emotional for me. I think mostly because of the children, and it just hits so close to home. My boys were at school when I learned about it - my one 5 year old son is in Kindergarten - and I just wanted to run and grab them right then. I've been crying off and on. It's also been hard because we know the family of one of the children who died. (Her grandfather, who died in a tragic bike accident earlier this year, was an associate of my husbands at work. We are grieving with their family.) I have been avoiding media for the most part. I got the facts and now I don't really want to dwell on them or get into the "discussions" - it's all too much for me right now. I did bring it up with my 7 year old on Sat. night because I wanted him to hear about it from me and not somewhere else, and to be able to answer his questions. I have not talked to my 5 year old yet and I'm not sure if or when I will.

 

[strawberryredhead]

I can relate to what a lot of you are saying...from the relentless tears to the distance that Angie talked about. My tears come when I watch it on the news. If I'm not actively watching/reading/hearing about it, I can distance myself fairly well which I admit is very important to me as someone who has dealt with mental illness since the age of 13.

Before I could decide if or how to bring it up with my 15 year old son, he brought it up to me! We had a short conversation about it, but it wasn't overly involved or intense. I did not think twice about sending him to school and when I dropped him off at the high school this morning there was a police presence but that is not different than any other day.

I have received 2 emails from the school district - one from the superintendent saying they are going to review their security measures, and one from the high school principal telling us there were rumors circulating the school today that a parent had made threats against the school district and that they had already involved the police department in an investigation. I'm sure it just kids starting stuff, but who really knows....Also, our school coincidentally had a lock-down drill last Wednesday.

As for our schools security measures, they have an "attendant" at each entrance but they really are just middle-aged women who frankly couldn't do a damn thing. There's nothing from stopping someone from walking through any number or entrances and shooting them in the head. That may sound harsh, but it's reality. Even with the two liaison officers in our high school, anything can happen. At my high school we had metal detectors at each entrance and that was nearly 20 years ago! I did grow up in what I guess would be classified as the ghetto, but still. Is that what we've come to? And even if we put metal detectors in our schools, is that really going to stop someone who is determined to cause as much chaos as possible before taking themselves out?

I don't know where I stand on the issue of gun control and can't really say much about it. No, guns don't kill people, but people use guns fairly well to kill people. I just don't know...

 

[nockosh]

Even though I am thousands of miles away from the tragedy, I am still very saddened by it and to be honest mad about it too.

It is all over the news here and of course the gun law debate is running hot in regards to your country implementing it. We have strict guns laws in Australia and I am thankful for that. But I am not naive enough to think that because we have guns laws, we are safe from these kinds of tragedies. Would I like gun laws tightened in your nation though - heck yeah! I think they do help.

I cannot even imagine what it would be like to send my child to school, having to walk by a police officer or a security officer first. To me that is just wrong and frightening.

I am thankful that I have not had to discuss this with my children, as they haven't been exposed to the news reports. As an adult is hard enough to comprehend this happening.

My heart breaks for those families that have lost loved ones.