Hostess Etiquette Question

[mommatrish]

So, John and I aren't really drinkers. Since we both come from long lines of alcoholics we aren't too comfortable keeping alcohol on hand at the house. He might occasionally get some beer, but it's like maybe once a month. We used to keep alcohol in the house, but we found out we tended to drink more often when we did, so now we don't.
Well, we have company coming over tomorrow for dinner (my best friend and her fiance). They both drink (not like constant all the time drinkers, but a beer or a glass of wine with dinner drinkers). I was wondering does that mean we should have alcohol here to offer if they want some? My mom's policy on company who drinks (since her and my step-dad don't) is that if they want alcohol they can bring it, and they better take it home with them or it gets thrown away. The only company I've had before who drinks is my brother and father, but we've always refused to allow them to bring any over. Well technically my brother has never asked, he just knows we would say no lol, but since my father's an alcoholic, we tell him no. He can have it in their car but it's not coming in our house.
But I'm lost since this is company-company, not company-family. Do we offer it since we know that's what they usually have with dinner (just a suck it up and move past it thing), or do we tell them they can bring some if they want it, or do we just not get anything and just not offer it as an option at all?

 

[Cristina]

Since this is your best friend, why don't you just ask her? Or maybe if she asks if she can bring something, you can mention that they can bring the wine if they want any.

As a more general question, I guess it would be the proper thing to do to serve wine even though you don't drink it, but frankly who cares about the rules? If you're uncomfortable there's nothing wrong in not offering it.

 

[sarahbhb]

If you're uncomfortable with it I wouldn't buy it. I've never really planned having drinks for dinner guests...honestly it just doesn't occur to me...I've just offered what was in the fridge (usually tea or juice or milk and of course there's always water)..if we happen to have beer or wine on hand then it's up for grabs as well...but that's a big if.

 

[liahra]

I'm thinking like this; Your house - "your rules/habits".
I would have done what feels most comfortable. I honestly don't see how lack of alcohol could ruin the dinner (especially with your best friend!)

 

[groenhop]

We always have a beer.. heck we have a beer fridge in our porch is actually pretty funny because it is beyond rare from my husband or I to have a drink at home. It is where all the guys we help with planting/harvest go to grab a beer though. So, I can't say I've ever really thought about having to provide something to do drink. The only time it has ever even come up is when we have a big grill out. Then when people ask what to bring I just state "If you could just bring whatever you'd like to drink with supper that would be more then enough" that way they can chose if it be alcohol or not.

As for coming from the guest side no matter what I drink with meals I would never expect the people I'm going to eat with to supply it. I actually would just expect to drink whatever was served. Like I always drink water with every single meal (its really all I drink) but I know for a fact when I go to my inlaws I'll be served a big glass of milk.. that's just what they do. So, I guess I'm saying don't over think it. I'm sure they aren't expecting anything.

 

[bandgeek]

Since it is your best friend and not like say your boss... I would just politely tell her that you don't generally keep alcohol in your home and that if they would prefer wine or beer with dinner, it is BYOB. My mom and dad really drink but on occasion they will pick up a 6 pack of something or other when company comes over and it goes home with the company.

Honestly, it is what you feel comfortable with. It's your house and it should be your rules.

 

[karen perry]

i have never really thought about this we dont drink much and never in the house unless its christmas so people get offered a pop,water or a cuppa when we cook

 

[Karen]

Yeah, I wouldn't worry so much about it. We have people over all the time for dinner and we don't usually serve any alcohol with dinner and we are casual drinkers. We too have a beer fridge on our patio in the summer and the guys tend to migrate out there and grab a beer if they are watching a ball game, but usually I just serve water and pop for the meals. I don't really even like to drink alcohol with my meals usually.

I doubt they are expecting you to supply the booze if they know you aren't drinkers anyway. Serve what you normally would serve for your family since it's your house and be done with it.