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Calling all worriers...

Ronisdragon

Ronisdragon

Why can't someday be now?
Joined
Jan 19, 2012
Messages
717
Hi Ladies,
I have been struggling with excessive round the clock worrying. It has been pretty intrusive and it is making me nutty. I'm not worrying about the little things but the huge things like what if my husband dies or what if he loses his job and we become homeless. Are there any other major worriers out there? Any words of wisdom? I'd love to know I'm not alone in my worrying! :stars
 
Do not waste emotional energy on things you can not control.

Repeat that as needed. ;)
 
I need to take Angie's advice as I'm a habitual worrier...sometime I believe that if I didn't worry, the thing I would normally be worrying about would really happen. I know it's stupid but I have issues. :)
 
Agree with what's been said. Worrying is a down payment on things that probably won't happen. I've been known to be a worrier, but I've gotten SO much better in recent years. I've just decided that spending emotional energy worrying about things that probably won't happen is super-unproductive. Worry about it ONCE it's happened, not before.
 
I used to be an award-winning worrier and I've got two quotes for you that help me when I'm falling back into old habits.

1. Worrying is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do but it doesn't get you anywhere.
2. Our fears are more numerous than our dangers and we suffer more in our imaginations than in reality. (Seneca)

I used to repeat #2 to myself over and over again on nights when my worries kept me up.
Good luck!
 
I am kinda known for worrying, but agree with the other ladies. It is a waste of energy. And sometimes I think that it actually puts your mind into a negative energy field which draws exactly what you don't want to happen. Our minds can only process one type of energy at a time. Positive or negative... so it is good to find a way to draw yourself out of the negative/worry.

Maybe if you are having trouble with worrying, only give yourself a set time to worry. Like five minutes. Not late at night. And actually set a timer. When that is up, move on to thinking about positive things and steps you can take towards great goals. Wear a rubber band around your wrist. When you realize you're worrying, snap it. Eventually you'll get tired of snapping yourself.

Create a mood/vision board that is full of positive things or things that make you happy. I'd say you could do it on Pinterest, but it really should be something you can keep handy and look at it often. Put some motivating quotes on it or things that make you smile instead of worry.

:)
 
Sorry hunny that you are going through this. I myself am the complete opposite. I do worry when I leave my hubs in charge of the kids and stuff like that but not whether a meteor falls from outer space and takes out my baby. KWIM? Not to make light of your concerns at all. I don't worry about a whole lot. No money worries, health worries. I am just pretty laid back. I will say that when I do worry about something, I am a Christian and turn all my worries over to God and leave it. That works for me. I will pray for your some much needed peace sweetie.
 
I don't worry about anything. I just deal with it as it comes. I don't have the time or the energy to worry about something that MIGHT happen.

Sometimes, even in the midst of it, I'm still like "oh well, nothing I can do".

Drives my dh a bit batty. :giggle
 
My husband is the worrier in the family--to the point where it interferes with life sometimes, and makes ME anxious. In his case, I have to research what he's already researched, and come up with why it's not something to worry about--like going to the beach because there MIGHT be free floating radicals of radiation floating around from Fukishima, Japan that will cause a spike in cancer in people in this area.

*facedesk*

We're more likely to die in a car accident. Seriously. Fear is worry, and worry sucks.

If you want another mantra, how about one from a very famous SF novel?

"I must not fear.
 Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain."
 
You are definitely not alone Roni. I tend to fixate on something that I'm worried about or afraid of and will churn it over and over (and over) in my head. I've also gone through spells where, like you, I worry myself sick about my loved ones dying. The crazy thing is, I KNOW worrying like that is pointless and I totally agree with Christine:

listgirl said:
....spending emotional energy worrying about things that probably won't happen is super-unproductive. Worry about it ONCE it's happened, not before.
Click to expand...

But....when I get into one of my anxiety funks the rationale side of my brain just will not connect with my anxiety side enough to make the thoughts stop. I've been on medication for anxiety/depression for years and it helps tremendously to quiet these obsessive thoughts. Sometimes I'll have a "flare up" and have to have my meds tweaked, but once they kick in the rationale side of my brain prevails like it should. It's crazy that it works that way, but I guess sometimes our brain chemistry needs a kick in the butt.

I guess what I'm trying to say is don't be afraid to get help if your worrying gets so bad that it interferes with your everyday life. And the ladies here do have some great advice. I really like Kimberlee's suggestion about creating a positive energy mood board!
 
javamonster said:
"I must not fear.
 Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain."
Click to expand...

I :heartlub Dune!
 
You ladies are the best! I am going to write out some of your quotes. The worrying is pretty bad lately and it is making it hard to enjoy life. Im trying to work on it. I'm in therapy and on some Meds but the Meds that really help me are a no no right now while I'm trying to get pregnant. Not getting pregnant is another one of my big worries. Please let the fertility treatments work. I'm envious of you laid back take it as it comes people! Maybe I'll make little embellished cards with the worrying quotes. Maybe it will get me playing with my scrapping stuff again.
 
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You might also want to try meditation and breathing---yeah, I know, everyone breathes, but meditation involves conscious breathing, deep calming breathing. It might help, too. I think I remember you saying you had to go off some medications in order to try for a baby, so, while meditation can't take the place of meds, with practice it can help. Also, someone with calming energy could help by giving you a shoulder rub to help you relax.

Another help is visualization. In your head, visualize a calming place, or a place that you love, and bring that image up, along with the sounds and smells, if you can remember those too. Spend some time there. Again, it takes practice, but it can help. It's like a minimental vacation.

Also, one way to get rid of worries/fears/things that are swallowing up your mind is *write them down* before you go to bed in a journal. List things that are keeping you awake. Let the page be responsible for holding them. Burn it later if you want, like a letter to someone you broke up with.
 
****raises hand****

I am a worry-wart too. I try to tell myself not to worry about things I can't change and when I worry about the future, I tell myself that I'll deal with whatever happens when it happens.
 
My husband is like you angle seems to leave the worrying to me maybe I do enough for the 2 of us but sometimes I wish he would take some of the slack to stop me worrying as much but I don't worry over things I can't control
 
I have no words of wisdom. I am so sorry! :( Mine got so bad I had to finally go to the dr for some medication. I really hope you can find some peace!
 
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