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anyone else a constant worrywort?

sarahbhb

sarahbhb

Happy Anniversary babe! Now, pack up!
Joined
Feb 20, 2011
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I know I get this from my mom...but anytime I can't get a hold of my husband I'm convinced he's bleeding on the side of the road. I talked to him an hour ago..he said he just got back from the account he was working to the office he works out of...he normally spends like 20 mins at the office then a 20 minute drive home.....and his phone is turned off (he works in some remote areas so I know that drains his battery pretty good)...but now I'm convinced something is wrong...I'm the same way if there is even just a tiny bit of ice or snow or storms. I worry until he gets home. Anyone else a little bit crazy like this?
 
Hang in there. I'm sure everything is fine. Hugs!!!

But uh... yeah, I know what you mean. I am a real worrier lately. It drives my DD crazy. She works 40 minutes away and the roads are sketchy and dangerous where she has to drive. Plus she has a crazy ex-boyfriend. So if I can't get hold of her, I worry a lot. And I am constantly worried about Kennedy. I've actually considered going to see a counselor because it seems so irrational sometimes. I'll worry if he is too quiet during his nap that he's stopped breathing or something. It is ridiculous. But he had a couple of febrile seizures when he was younger and they scared the holybajoles out of me because they came out of nowhere, so I always worry about him. Now I'm also worrying about his "dad" (daughter's crazy ex) because he hasn't wanted anything to do with Kennedy, but the day after the Powell boys were killed by their dad, creepy called and left DD a message saying he wants to see Kennedy. :( I had nightmares all night.

Maybe we can start a worriers' anonymous club.
 
After a bout with heart palpitations, tons of tests, they said stress. From that point forward, I had to find a way to not worry/stress so much. Turns out after I lost 200 lbs (the EX HUSBAND), my stress levels decreased immensely!

I'm pretty much a happy and optimistic person and had to consciously make the choice to not worry about things I can't do anything about.

It will get better for you!
 
I worry if DH is really late, like an hour or more. He has a terrible sense of time, so when he says he will be home at a certain time, I add an hour to it just so I don't stress too early!

I don't usually have to worry about my kids yet, but on the rare occasion they are with somebody besides DH or me, I do stress.
 
I like the idea of a worrier's anonymous club..lol.

BTW....he showed up at home about 5 minutes after I posted the message. Go figure.
 
I am glad your DH is OK!

Worrying is one of those I have been "giving up" as I get older. How about these stats? (From a great article, here.)

"40% never happens – so in essence we are wasting our time by worrying.

30% of what we worry about has already happened. Learn to “let go” and forgive yourself and others. You cannot change the past – no one can. Accept it for what it is and go on.

12% are needless worries, such as what someone else thinks about us.

10% are petty and unimportant such as we worry about what’s for dinner, we worry about being late, we worry about what to wear.

8% of what we worry about actually happens. Of this percentage…

4% of our worries that happen are beyond our control. We cannot change the outcome. These worries may include our health, the death of a loved one or an impending natural disaster. Often times the reality of these events are more bearable than the worry.

4% of what we worry about we have some if not all control over the results. Basically I think this is the consequences of our actions or inaction on the problems and challenges we face."

For me, the key was finding tools to derail the worry: my faith, exercise, distraction, etc. HTH
 
I use distraction a lot...in fact the one good thing about my worrying is that things get done such as cleaning, scrapping, etc.

Really interesting stats...I know I worry a lot needlessly but I also have this irrational fear that if I stop worrying about something that that's when it'll happen...lol like my worrying can really stop something...silly i know.
 
Ooh Laura those facts are useful

I used to be terrible at worrying but not as bad now,and I never worry how late the husband is cause I know he is a terrible gossip so probably chatting somewhere,glad you dh came home safe
 
I'm the opposite. I find I don't like to waste emotional energy on things I can't control. So, whatever is going to happen is going to happen and I'll deal with it then.

I think I'm too lazy to worry about much. Haha.
 
Good stuff to know, Laura. Even so, I am a worrywort too! And just when I think I'm doing good, DH says something that gets started and then I have to tell him that there's really nothing I can do and I'll just leave it in God's Hands. That's helped tremendously for me.
 
I love the stats, Laura!

I used to worry a lot, but I figured out it was unproductive and have taken steps to try to stop myself from doing this. I read somewhere once that "Worry is a down payment on a problem you may never have". That hit me on the head, me being a financial analyst and all. I don't WANT to put a down payment on something I may never have, LOL!

My worrying got worse a few years ago when my mom got sick with cancer and then subsequently passed away. I developed anxiety problems three months after that and had to take medication for a year. There are ways to TRAIN yourself to not worry as much. Coping mechanisms are a wonderful thing. One book I recommend is "The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook". It is very helpful to understand where worry and anxiety come from and what to do about it.
 
I am too. It used to drive dh crazy! If he was going to be off work at 3, I'd figure he'd be home by 3:30, and when he didn't call and didn't show up, I thought he was killed in an accident or something every time. It always ended up that he had just stopped by a friend's house or to chat with his dad at his shop or something. He never did it often, so when it happened I was worried. It drove him nuts that I'd call and call, but I just figured why can't you just send a quick text or something, yk? I don't do it anymore though. I just let him get home when he gets home. I still get worried, but I don't torture him with check up calls, lol.
 
me.
i can't help it.
sometimes i think my husband is going to go crazy because of all the crap
i worry about and have no control over.
eep.
 
Glad your dh got home ok, Sarah. Those stats are good food for thought, Laura.

I don't consciously worry as much as I used to, but I do sometimes get this sort of general "on edge" anxious feeling if I've got too much going on. One thing that has helped me in the past, especially for bigger issues, came from something I read somewhere. It said to imagine what would happen if the thing you are worried about actually did happen, and make a plan for what you would do to deal with the result and move forward. It helped me to realize that I actually would be able to get through it, and it made it easier to cope. For smaller things, putting it into the perspective of "will this matter in a week (a year, etc.)?" helped me let go (or at least loosen my grip).

I will say that dh doesn't go out often, but when he does, he's usually out really late, so I'd kind of gotten used to not worrying about him. Last summer one night when I woke up a couple of hours after he should have been home and called him, it turned out that he was in the ER. (He'd collapsed leaving a restaurant after a long day in the heat.) I don't think he's had an opportunity to stay out that late again since, and I'm not sure how calm I'll be next time he does. :eyeroll
 
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