Aging Parents/In-laws

[jenny]

My mother-in-law is in her early 60's and her health has rapidly declined over the last few years. She had a full hip replacement surgery in 2006 and went from a vibrant, active, busy woman to someone who now needs a cane or sometimes a walker to be mobile. The hip implant was too large for her body and after years of seeing specialists etc. it's been determined a second corrective surgery would be too risky. So she's in near constant pain and she and my father-in-law are beside themselves that this is now her, and their life. We live within a short driving distance and because hubby is an only child, we do as much as we can to help out. They have been like a second set of parents to me for almost 20 years, so it's difficult to watch her go through this and know the eventuality is likely that she will be wheelchair bound within the foreseeable future. I always thought I would be well prepared for this stage but I'm really not.
Have you gone though this with your parents or in-laws? Do you have any words of wisdom?

 

[la]

your poor mil! That is awful :[ she's not that old yet either :[ I have no advice unfortunately but wanted to offer up my support!

 

[HeatherB]

We haven't been in that situation yet, but I know it is coming. Hugs to you + dh, it must be hard.

 

[VickyD]

Hugs! No words of wisdom from me as I've not had to deal with anything like this yet.

I've had times where my mum has been in hospital for random things but nothing that has lasted too long or hasn't healed!

Just stay strong and do what you can when you can! It must be heartbreaking for you all xxx

HUGS!

 

[Karen]

Oh that's awful for her! My FIL was diagnosed with Alzheimer's a couple of years ago. He is 65 and it's been so awful to see his decline in the last 2-3 years. I totally get how hard it is to see their new reality. The best thing you can do for them, you're already doing. Just try to help out whenever you can. It's really hard on both of them I'm sure to have limitations that I'm sure they didn't expect this early in life.

 

[melrio]

Not there quite yet but it's closer than I realize. My parents are in their late 60s and my MIL is in her late 80s so we stay pretty busy when we're not doing something together helping our parents with whatever they need.

 

[jenny]

Thanks ladies

The fact that this is happening relatively early on is I think what's hardest to deal with for them. For DH it's seeing his mom grow old in what feels like overnight and the pain she endures. We'll just keep paddling and do what we can for them.